Dealing with addiction

Despite using various substances for about 12 years now, I only recently experienced physical addiction for the first time. I started using Norco to control some of my chemotherapy sideffects (helps a ton with chills and nausea), and then got hospitalized for a week during which they switched my pain management from oral Norco to IV Dilaudid. Did that for a week, then came home and kept on the Norco. And I should have e realized the hole I was getting myself in to, but it was helping my medical issues so much I justified it to myself.

I decided enough of that shit tho and quit it... Was only about two and a half weeks of daily opiate use, but it was definitely enough for withdrawals. And opiate withdrawals while still experiencing chemo sideffects... Fuck, that sucked.

Definitely not done using them, now that I've experienced actual withdrawal for my first time tho, definitely not going to let myself build a tolerance. Hopefully I'm done with chemo now and I can go back to just using them recreationally on occasion (something I had no problem with for the 11 years of drug use before I got sick)

BTW I'm pretty sure my three years of almost daily synthetic cannabis smoking is what caused my cancer =\. Never felt like I had a problem with it because I could quit cold turkey for a week here and there and not have a problem. So I told myself at least I wasn't addicted. But turns out more things than just addiction can bite your ass when it comes to drug use.

well i was blending it together myself, so it was dirt cheap. $25 worth would be 2-3months of daily smoking.

there were lots of different chemicals i used over the years. the most recent and the one i used for the longest consecutive period was AFB-48. there is barely any info about it online tho. i was getting it from some pretty shady corners of the internet.

my favorite ever was JWH-122. there's a lot more info around about that one. i couldn't even list all the different ones i tried over the years, there's been so many. i even blended it and resold it online for about a year and a half. made a ton of money. justified it to myself by using higher quality ingredients than all the other vendors i knew... figured if people were smoking it anyway the herbs they were smoking should be organically grown without any pesticides, the flavorings added and the solvents used should be of lab grade purity and handled by someone that actually knows wtf they're doing (university chemistry background here, but i wasn't actually synthesizing amything myself).

all of them are bad ideas because you're treating yourself like a guinea pig. i was really stupid.