Dealing with addiction

BrutulTM · Jan 29, 2017

Just to be clear, your current strategy is just white knuckling it?

Feanor · Jan 29, 2017

Touchy subject isn't it.

LulzSect said:
Shit, I get it - abstaining is fucking tough. Visiting the fam this wknd and there's fucking wine everywhere. Still holding off though.

I would say a glass of wine can't hurt, but you know yourself and if you're sure that even one is bad news then willpower, Lulz. Sucks but you gotta try. Hang in there lil bananabro. We're rootin' for ya. And if you relapse that's okay. Just don't use it as an excuse to relapse intentionally.

TJT said:
I mentioned it earlier and in extreme detail that I struggle with alcoholism to a degree and keep a very tight control on it at most times. That's why this thread exists. If you're just here to make shit up then go fuck yourself and get the fuck out of here.

I also mentioned earlier I don't use drugs and don't drink too often. I did not read whatever it is you're talking about thus my remark was meant as friendly.

I mocked what addicts are known for. Self-aggrandizing and self-pity. Wasn't ribbing anyone here. It was an insensitive joke and I fixed it by responding earnestly.

Feanor said:
All joking aside, this thread's a good idea. It could give people a chance to talk about their experiences. Can't think of anything healthier.

Cad · Jan 29, 2017

As a decidedly non-addictive personality these threads are fascinating for me. I have relatives who are addicts that I've struggled to understand forever. If nothing else, this type of stuff provides a window where other people can try to understand you and maybe be better equipped to help someone in their own life later on.

TrollfaceDeux · Jan 29, 2017

i think your addiction starts with bananas.

maybe you need to suck a dick and your addiction will be over.

LulzSect · Jan 29, 2017

Week 1 down.

When I drink even one drink, I get the urge to do coke | or get into trouble like

TJT (solely for my amusement).
When I don't drink, I'm pretty fucking cool and normal.

Khalan · Jan 30, 2017

Good thread I will jump in.

My experience mirrors your own quite closely. Started doing Mdma during my early twenties and got into Coke about 4-5 years ago and have been a regular user since (Some weekends, 2 days in a row, sometimes 3 times a month). I do it only when I drink (Which is a lot since I work in hospitality so my social circles are heavy drinkers) and I don't really think about it otherwise. I also played a ton of MMO's etc in my teens and always have been slightly introverted so I found the Coke helped me in Social situations, plus I could drink an stay up all night without passing out (Which alcohol tends to make me do)

I am a fairly healthy guy, workout, great job, I keep it very "controlled" but i have definitely had my episodes of "holy fuck what have I gotten into".

I went super hard in December with all the parties which culminated in an insane New Years Party till 10am, after that I decided to take the month off drinking/drugs and succeeded until my preplanned "relapse" which was last night.

I have been super hung over, looked at my bank and wallet and got so mad for how much I spent last night on Drugs and Drinks, and ate terribly today as well. I hate the next day but I can't quit drinking and as such feel like I am stuck in this cycle because whenever I drink I almost always do Coke.

Part of me knows this is a bad habit, but Basically my entire social circle does it (Young urban millenials) and part of me feels like as long as I have it under control (Which I do) there isnt any reason to stop

TJT · Jan 30, 2017

BrutulTM said:
Just to be clear, your current strategy is just white knuckling it?

Normally I just don't go out. I am good having a few at home... but when I go out it gets hard to stop.

I organize my life around not being in situations where heavy drinking is possible.

Lleauaric · Jan 30, 2017

LulzSect said:
Week 1 down.

When I drink even one drink, I get the urge to do coke | or get into trouble like TJT (solely for my amusement).
When I don't drink, I'm pretty fucking cool and normal.

I know you listed living in the city as big trigger for you. But the other side to that is you have access to more AA groups and resources than anywhere else in the world.

The best advice I can give is to go to meetings. There are literally dozens of them near you. Go to different ones until you find one you feel comfortable in. There are a number of apps you can put on your phone that will help you find them. Everyone I know that has had long term sobriety has had AA play a part, even if its a small one

LulzSect · Jan 30, 2017

You are right

Lleauaric . There are AA meetings all over. During my biggest sobriety stint (2 months in 2015), I am not so sure that I can attribute AA to that. I was in out-patient rehab at the time and annoyed at myself because they (rehab) kept pushing anti-drinking drugs on me. This sort of pushed me to see if I could just not use.

While I have enjoyed some meetings, I always end up feeling like a junkie when I attend that shit. It's really depressing hearing people's stories.

Screamfeeder · Jan 30, 2017

Cad said:
As a decidedly non-addictive personality these threads are fascinating for me. I have relatives who are addicts that I've struggled to understand forever. If nothing else, this type of stuff provides a window where other people can try to understand you and maybe be better equipped to help someone in their own life later on.

See and I would consider myself a non-addictive personality even though my behavior clearly doesn't represent that accurately. For a lot of people like you, it only takes some outside trigger like an injury. You mentioned taking something the other day and feeling like shit on it. Good sign. I know my body rejects opiates pretty well but, I know plenty of people that got hooked on pills/prescriptions due to injuries or surgeries and for a few of them, it killed them.

Lleauaric · Jan 30, 2017

LulzSect said:
You are right Lleauaric . There are AA meetings all over. During my biggest sobriety stint (2 months in 2015), I am not so sure that I can attribute AA to that. I was in out-patient rehab at the time and annoyed at myself because they (rehab) kept pushing anti-drinking drugs on me. This sort of pushed me to see if I could just not use.

While I have enjoyed some meetings, I always end up feeling like a junkie when I attend that shit. It's really depressing hearing people's stories.

Keep hitting different ones. Find the one with all the hot girls.

LulzSect · Jan 30, 2017

(lol)

See the problem is, I do want to drink like a normal person again one day. So it feels so phony every time I go to these meetings. This dual hypocrisy is part of it. I definitely don't want to do cocaine any more though.

Dumb.

BrutulTM · Jan 30, 2017

LulzSect said:
(lol)

See the problem is, I do want to drink like a normal person again one day. So it feels so phony every time I go to these meetings. This dual hypocrisy is part of it. I definitely don't want to do cocaine any more though.

Dumb.

If you're really an addict, that is a totally unrealistic proposition. I don't know if you are actually an addict, but if you are, "just cutting back" isn't really a thing.

Cad · Jan 30, 2017

Screamfeeder said:
See and I would consider myself a non-addictive personality even though my behavior clearly doesn't represent that accurately. For a lot of people like you, it only takes some outside trigger like an injury. You mentioned taking something the other day and feeling like shit on it. Good sign. I know my body rejects opiates pretty well but, I know plenty of people that got hooked on pills/prescriptions due to injuries or surgeries and for a few of them, it killed them.

Yea, but I can drink at a party and get shitfaced and have fun, and then not drink again for a month or even have the urge. I've taken painkillers ranging from vicodin to tramadol and been anesthetized with propofol and I do not desire to feel those again. Te painkillers really didn't do anything for me anyway I didn't have any particular feeling of euphoria. I've never tried any of the hard drugs like cocaine or heroin or meth. Maybe those would have a different effect on me.

Soygen · Jan 30, 2017

Cocaine and meth are a real good time. I've done my bodyweight in MDMA/X. Never been a fan of painkillers or downers. I've never done heroin. Now I just drink and only on the weekends. Being in a long-term, stable relationship has helped tremendously in keeping me out of trouble.

Cad · Jan 30, 2017

Soygen said:
Cocaine and meth are a real good time. I've done my bodyweight in MDMA/X. Never been a fan of painkillers or downers. I've never done heroin. Now I just drink and only on the weekends. Being in a long-term, stable relationship has helped tremendously in keeping me out of trouble.

I'm afraid of MDMA fucking up seratonin receptors. Like thats really just smashing your brains reward/good feeling system with a sledgehammer.

Soygen · Jan 30, 2017

I can't say for sure, but it could likely be the cause of some issues for me. My ex and I abused the shit out of it in my early 20s and I've had issues with depression in the years since. I may have had it then, but I was partying so much that you'd be hard pressed to even notice any kind of issue. It's a lot more obvious when you sober up.

LulzSect · Jan 30, 2017

BrutulTM said:
If you're really an addict, that is a totally unrealistic proposition. I don't know if you are actually an addict, but if you are, "just cutting back" isn't really a thing.

I don't know either. Taking it one day at a time.

Feanor · Feb 1, 2017

I'm sure you've just a bad habit that's hard to break.

I think drugs should be legal, though I've a few reservations, and I certainly think anyone who likes drugs and can control themselves should do so freely. On the other hand I respect when someone knows they are doing themselves harm.

LulzSect · Feb 1, 2017

Control and drugs? I think that idea is delusion when a common side effect of drugs is losing control.

Hell based on this thread everyone appears to have a story of "oh man that one time", a few times!

Weed definitely less harmful than alcohol but anything hard should remain illegal.

Dealing with addiction

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