Moglyzoke Moogleman
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Depression
- Thread starter Tarrant
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Guest, did you like the last podcast notification?? Well here's the second one, and for the third podcast! Yep. This Thursday 8-8-24 at 7pm Central
Go here to check out his podcast thread for info on topics and links!Go into the FoH discord and find the Happy Time Fun Hour channel and give it a listen!
moonarchia
The Scientific Shitlord
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The subconscious needs to vent its utterly chaotic spleen sooner or later. Better to get it over and done with.
Moglyzoke Moogleman
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moonarchia
The Scientific Shitlord
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Indeed. That's why you do the needful and make the best out of the time you have. Eventually it ends.
Moglyzoke Moogleman
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Moglyzoke Moogleman
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moonarchia
The Scientific Shitlord
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If you know you're not making the best of it, then you know what you need to do to make the best of it. Choose to do that instead.
Moglyzoke Moogleman
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moonarchia
The Scientific Shitlord
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If you don't know, then do the work to figure it out if it's bothering you. All roads lead back to you when it's in your head. Get help if you need it, but get working on it. Improvement is always incremental, and the effort is worthwhile in and of itself. Your only fight is with yourself. So make peace and win.
I have lots of my own bad shit in my brain, and I struggle with all of this all the time too. We all do at some level. That's just inherent to the human experience. Lots of shitlords here to offer encouragement and shame to help you out if you need it. Good luck.
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Moglyzoke Moogleman
Not here
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Koushirou
Log Wizard
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Had a complete meltdown the other day. I’ve always been shit at managing stress, but it’s been so much worse lately. Health issues, finances, the state of the country, work, etc. have all been pissing me off and making me an anxiety-ridden mess for a while. I get it, that’s just life and it happens, but for whatever reason I just can’t handle it anymore. Every time bullshit happens, I bitch and then suck it up and just deal with it. I’m in pain all the time, shit in the house is breaking when its still fairly new and costing money, I can’t sleep worth a damn (I get maybe 2-4 hours of sleep and then end up having to nap and just wasting most days tossing around in bed for 6 hours), everything that can go wrong has been going wrong at work and I’m behind, etc. I try to just grin and bear it for the sake of my husband not having to deal with an angry bitch all the time, but I am absolutely miserable constantly and I’m at capacity for eating shit.
Every ping on Slack from work for some dumb little thing sends me into a cursing fit. I don’t make dinner perfectly and I just feel completely worthless as a wife. I had to pull a little money out of savings to cover some unexpected bullshit expenses (the whole reason the savings are there) and I feel like we’re one step away from financial ruin. One of my cats got worms somehow, and I just fucking lost it. Every tiny thing that goes wrong sends me off the deep end. I barely have energy for any hobbies anymore (if they don’t already just make me mad these days like MtG). I’m stressing my poor husband out. I’m scaring my cats during outbursts. I’ve been on a waitlist for a therapist for over 6 months and no luck yet.
I don’t want to die, but I do want to just shut down. I’m tired and I don’t know what to do.
Every ping on Slack from work for some dumb little thing sends me into a cursing fit. I don’t make dinner perfectly and I just feel completely worthless as a wife. I had to pull a little money out of savings to cover some unexpected bullshit expenses (the whole reason the savings are there) and I feel like we’re one step away from financial ruin. One of my cats got worms somehow, and I just fucking lost it. Every tiny thing that goes wrong sends me off the deep end. I barely have energy for any hobbies anymore (if they don’t already just make me mad these days like MtG). I’m stressing my poor husband out. I’m scaring my cats during outbursts. I’ve been on a waitlist for a therapist for over 6 months and no luck yet.
I don’t want to die, but I do want to just shut down. I’m tired and I don’t know what to do.
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Edaw
Parody
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Endorphin crash. (likely from playing EQ so much)
Start over and rebuild your routines. Move your body and focus on physical activities.
Sometimes it's called a hyperfocus cliff. It's not uncommon and you will be fine.
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Koushirou
Log Wizard
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This has been building up long before starting on Teek, lol. I’ve had a couple of mini meltdowns the past couple of years and things get better for a little bit after, but it all just slowly (or rapidly now) builds back up.
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Oblio
Utah
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Control the things that are controllable.
You noted pain and I am assuming the at "capacity" is referring to your current body shape/weight? Sleep issues only exacerbate everything you are feeling.
I have mostly conquered my sleep issues by listening to audio books at bedtime. This allowed me to stop focusing on all the BS that life offers and after a few days I started falling asleep within 10-15 minutes. I then started waking up and going for a walk, having a dog makes this easier because when I don't want to I think of letting down my dog. Start small, even 10 minutes will make a difference. There is also a lot of science behind exposing yourself to direct sunlight at the start of the day (don't wear sunglasses). Be more mindful of what you are eating/snacking. Increase your protein and lower your carbs. Veggies are cheap and delicious, I know for men cruciferous vegetables are good for T, I am not sure what is best for women. At the risk of being crass, increase your sex frequency. Anything to get your heart rate up and it can't hurt the relationship with the hubby
Be realistic, doing these things for a day or week will not remedy your current physical state. You didn't get to this point overnight, so the solution won't be that way either.
Lastly, smile more. Happiness is a choice.
Good luck and just know you have us to vent to
EIDT: Lately, I have been listening to Luetin009 Warhammer 40k lore at bedtime
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Koushirou
Log Wizard
- 5,138
- 12,978
Control the things that are controllable.
You noted pain and I am assuming the at "capacity" is referring to your current body shape/weight? Sleep issues only exacerbate everything you are feeling.
I have mostly conquered my sleep issues by listening to audio books at bedtime. This allowed me to stop focusing on all the BS that life offers and after a few days I started falling asleep within 10-15 minutes. I then started waking up and going for a walk, having a dog makes this easier because when I don't want to I think of letting down my dog. Start small, even 10 minutes will make a difference. There is also a lot of science behind exposing yourself to direct sunlight at the start of the day (don't wear sunglasses). Be more mindful of what you are eating/snacking. Increase your protein and lower your carbs. Veggies are cheap and delicious, I know for men cruciferous vegetables are good for T, I am not sure what is best for women. At the risk of being crass, increase your sex frequency. Anything to get your heart rate up and it can't hurt the relationship with the hubby
Be realistic, doing these things for a day or week will not remedy your current physical state. You didn't get to this point overnight, so the solution won't be that way either.
Lastly, smile more. Happiness is a choice.
Good luck and just know you have us to vent to
EIDT: Lately, I have been listening to Luetin009 Warhammer 40k lore at bedtime
At capacity as in mental capacity for small shit. Had an order for litter come in the other day and the bag was already busted open and made a mess. Not a big deal, it happens, whatever. But I’m at capacity and I just can’t deal with even one more tiny thing getting added to the pile.
I’ve on and off gotten into walking routines, but I can never sustain them. Same with calorie counting. I’ll keep up with it for a few months but eventually I stop for various reasons, whether it’s laziness, the weather (it’s too goddamn hot; I don’t want to fucking go outside), or just because I feel like shit physically or feel like I’m not worth putting the effort in to try. I was ugly before I was fat, so it’s not like weight loss is going to fix the butterface.
I had actually this past month been making a conscious effort to just initiate sex and we have had more than usual. I’m still incredibly self-conscious about it, though. Feels incredibly awkward trying to put on the “sexy mood” when I am anything but. He seems to have no issues though, so I guess it’s okay.
Have listened to some of those 40k story vides before. I think from Baldemort? I don’t know shit about Warhammer but they’re fun to listen to. My dumb relaxing videos of choice is listening to a family of Korean ladies roleplay a fancy spa with their cat. It is pretty effective at knocking me out, though.
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Oblio
Utah
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Well your husband obviously loves you, that alone is worth living for.
I hate to say it, but the rest of it is will power and choice. Next time you don't want to go outside for all the reasons you listed above, think of the post you made. You made it for a reason, that reason is you don't want to feel that way anymore. You want to change. So change the habits that got you here.
I say all of this with empathy. I know first hand how you are feeling, why you are feeling that way and how hard it is to get out of that rut. No bull shit, start smiling more! Smile at strangers. kids, animals it literally works.
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Oblio
Utah
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Oh, and don't beat yourself up for a bad choice or a set back. In the moment we make excuses and justify our actions, whether it is skipping a walk or having a midnight snack or starting the day with an unhealthy meal. Don't say well this day is fucked, I might as well lean in and order a deep dish. Forgive yourself and make the rest of the day great. Also, give yourself something to look forward to. Allow yourself some ice cream or whatever once a week or every other week. make it an event. Using ice cream as the example instead of buying a carton because it is more economic (and you will end up eating the hole thing), spend a similar amount and go to like a cold stone with the hubby. Make it a cheap date and go for walk at the park or walk around a mall.
We are human and the people that are "perfect" all the time are miserable in their own way. Everyone thinks they are being judged all the time by everyone else. Everyone is self conscious, the truth is no one is paying attention to you, they are consumed with their own bullshit.
We are human and the people that are "perfect" all the time are miserable in their own way. Everyone thinks they are being judged all the time by everyone else. Everyone is self conscious, the truth is no one is paying attention to you, they are consumed with their own bullshit.
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Palum
what Suineg set it to
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My 2c is sleep is the number one issue. Everything else is a byproduct of sleep quality.
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The_Black_Log Foler
PalsCo CEO - Stock Pals | Pantheon Pals
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Echoing what Edaw and Oblio said - sun, exercise, and sleep have and are actively changing my life.
I wanted to quote this post because I think it’s especially important what Oblio is saying regarding will power. You will face many days where you wake up and ask yourself “do I feel like working out?”, for example. That’s the wrong question. You do it regardless. What you’ll notice over time is that as you force yourself to do these hard things it will be easier to do them. It won’t be as “painful” in the morning to make yourself get out of bed and to the gym/go for a walk or run etc. Like Oblio I say this with empathy and from my personal experience/observation in my own life.
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