Girls who broke your heart thread

Tarrant220 said:

Well fuck I hope I don"t come off as the "poor me" type, if I do by all means please kick me in the ass about it. :/

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haven"t read em tbh.

But theres a difference between feeling sorry for yourself and trying to make your situation better and feeling sorry for yourself and ignoring all advice or not attempting to make your life better.

As Eomer said its an advice thread. I don"t look at people and go "your life is fine stop whining" - for me its a "are you trying to make your situation better or are you just into making excuses". Brads the latter.

Contrary to my reputation () which is entirely my fault due to love of trolling...I actually really enjoy helping people, especially in this area. I just helped a guy from work that I don"t know well get the engagement ring, the proposal logistics down to the champagne flutes all set up. He wanted me to fly to NYC to help him shop for the stone but I explained that it wasn"t worth it moneywise, free trip to NYC for me or not. Two weeks ago I hooked my neighbor up with his engagement ring (I have a killer diamond lady in DC who"s actually probably the last honest salesperson out here ) and one of my buddies getting married this fall took my advice when starting a relationship with his future wife who had originally friendzoned him 5 years prior. (Don"t get me wrong I"m not one of those everyone should get married its the bestest girls - lots of people around me just happen to be at that stage in their lives).

I"m not always right by any means but I do ok. Most folks (even around here @FOH) think I"m a decent listener even if I"m a little harsh at times

GrobbeeTrull2.0 said:

Etoille channeled some fine Grobbee in that post. I give her +10 innanets.

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Channeled my ass!

I actually wasn"t trolling in those posts. I don"t indulge poor me types. It doesn"t help people when you do that.

Thats alllllllllllllllllllllllllll me right there.

If you try and play the "poor me" card at the end of a failed relationship you probably learned nothing. From every relationship you should take away some amount of knowledge. The one girl to ever break my heart really opened up my eyes in ways that were both great and in ways I"m still battling to get over (I really have a hard time trusting women anymore) but Ilearneda great deal from it.

However if you sit wallowing in self pity and think you did everything right you"re bound to make the same mistakes over and over again.

Tenks said:

If you try and play the "poor me" card at the end of a failed relationship you probably learned nothing. From every relationship you should take away some amount of knowledge. The one girl to ever break my heart really opened up my eyes in ways that were both great and in ways I"m still battling to get over (I really have a hard time trusting women anymore) but Ilearneda great deal from it.

However if you sit wallowing in self pity and think you did everything right you"re bound to make the same mistakes over and over again.

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Sometimes that"s one of the hardest things to deal with, is the lessons you"ve learned from the relationship. I look back on what happened with Anne and I kick myself, because I went in to it thinking I"d learned my lessons from Chuck and to a lesser extent Xerxes, but then went right ahead and repeated some of the same mistakes, and I cooked up some new ones to boot.

It"d be easier to just chalk it up as her being a bitch or dishonest or whatever else, as opposed to it being at least partially my fault as well. She still gets at least some of the blame, if only for being a girl and/or not being honest with herself, and by extension me.

Girls are alot less insane than this thread claims. Sure it"s not right to shoulder the entire blame but if you keep going "She"s just a psycho bitch I was the perfect prince!" then you"re just going to keep telling yourself that over and over and over. If a girl is attracted enough to go on a date with you, let alone sleep with you, she pretty much in the palm of your hand. It"s yours to lose at that point.

Can I ask some of y"all a few questions?

How old are some of you?

I mean I see a lot of "I"m into this 20-21 year old" which is cool if you all are just looking for a piece of ass by all means go for it. If you"re like up to 25 go for it.

But some of you all are late 20"s early 30"s and dating these really young chicks and are acting surprised when they"re immature or cheat on you or are big time partiers.

If I"ve mistaken this for the "hot piece of ass thread" instead of the "girls who broke your heart/relationship/dating advice thread" my bad but...if you guys want relationships (as I"m assuming by the thread title some of you do) .... you need to be dating women ready and worthy of one.

Tips on qualifying a girl who is ready and worthy:

1. She"ll have her own plans/a career. Serious ones. Not just "biding my time til the next fun thing/new guy".

2. She won"t be in/fresh out of college. College is a joke. We all know that. She"s yet to confront serious life issues like paying bills etc and being well balanced enough to get thru them without help from others.

3. She"ll be financially solvent. Let me say this again. She will be financially solvent. She doesn"t have to not be in debt but if she"s complaining about lack of money and getting her boobs done/going out every night this is NOT a road you want to go down.

4. She"ll know what she wants. Damn near right away. If she likes you she"s not going to fuck around. She"ll let you know.

5. She commits to things. Like plans. The last thing you want is for some girl to call you only when SHE"s available. (This goes both ways assholes).

6. She"ll be busy enough that she HAS to commit to plans. IE her calendar isn"t wide open. This is good because she has her own friggin life.

7. She has no miscellaneous ex boyfriend baggage. If they dated 10 years ago in high school and he"s married now with a wife - he still wants to fuck her but it isn"t like oh my ex from 6 months ago we"re still friends tee hee.

8. She is comfortable with herself and being herself is the most important thing to her. If she says shit you dont agree with ie if a movie sucked or a political opinion and you tell her she doesn"t back off. The last thing you need is someone without their own brain.

9. She smiles/laughs. It sounds obvious, but you"d be surprised.

10. She can make decisions without calling 14 of her "closest" friends.

11. She"d never let you take pics to post on here.

24, girlfriend is 22. I"ve already found out the hard way that being over 22 (I feel it only takes one year to get the bar scene out of your system) and the girl 18-19 only ends in horrible.

32, my ex is 27.

My mistake was marrying her way too early. Married when i was 24 and she was 19.

24, current pursuit is 31. I WIN.

Oh and great post Etoille, I knew there was a reason I didn"t put you on ignore before . Some of those things even made me think back and realize "duh, of course it woulda ended like that, I had all the warning signs from the start."

Maybe it"s just me, but I significantly lower my dating standards in order to have sex. If I had a steady booty call every 2-3 weeks, I"d never bother with 80% of the girls I talk to. That sounds shitty but it"s the truth and I"m curious if it applies to other guys as well. I"d also have less frustrations because I"d have no problem nexting any girl who wasn"t worth the hassle. Is there a solution to this? It"s not a mental thing or "I need a connection" thing because afterwards I generally want the girl out asap. I just gotta get my rocks off every now and then for real or I start getting the desire to kill.

Tarrant, I think you are in dangerous territory. Just like you didn"t like hearing about the other guy, she doesn"t want to hear about the girl you are hanging out with. Especially the "sorry she leaned in front of me I was distracted LOL!" Your private life is private, keep it that way. Don"t hide that you are hanging out with another girl, but don"t rub it in her face either. If she asks who you are with, tell her, but when she asks if you slept together, that"s none of her business at all, even if you want to reassure her by saying no. Once again, if she wants to be patient and cautious in getting back with you (which is understandable), she will have to deal with the reality of competition. But that"s not for you to rub in her face. That"s immature and it will also alienate her, even if the short-term effect is "successful."

Brad, saying a counsellor won"t help you is a cop out. Have you been to a counselor? No? Then how the flying fuck do you know if one will help you? Seriously, Etoille is right, you"re just shitting up the thread now because it is clear you haven"t listened to a word anyone has said.

13 and my girlfriend is 24.

why would you need advice on women if they wont come around you?

Picasso said:

why would you need advice on women if they wont come around you?

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I know, it sucks being seen with my girlfriend, oh wait.

Tarrant220 said:

I"m not sure why more guys don"t take a long hard look at themselves and change what is wrong with themselves, but really....the shit works. It sucks to see and recognize your own short comings but in the end it will only make things 100% better for you as long as you are really serious about it.

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I"m a big proponent for change in bettering ones self but you have to realize it"d hardly be fair to say it was easy. It"s hard, and it"s even harder to make it permanent. It"s a slow and ongoing process that never ends.

I applaud your recent change for the better Tarrant but be wary. Old habits die hard and you will undoubtedly make those mistakes again. Just make sure you always try your best and never give up. That"s all you can do.

22 me 20 her....destined to fail