Girls who broke your heart thread
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This has nothing to do with my list.Tarrant220 said:
She eat the college student diet? Like ramen noodles and all that? (Do you have a costco membership or access to someone who does?) (SamsClub/BJ"s warehouse/Costco?)
Ok this is what you do. Fuck roses.Tarrant220 said:
Go to costco, get a big box of ramen noodles that will fit in a carboard box/crate.
Handwritten note that says:
"Good luck this semester, when you get tired of the ramen call me - we"ll go to x" (w/e restaurant you want to take her to/she likes - NOT some place overly fancy. laid back is key whether its chilis or outback someplace in that vein). And sign your name, no "love john" or "from john" just "-your name".
Put it in the bottom of the cardboard box face up then put the ramen on top of it so when she unpacks it she sees it. Key is you take it over to her on sunday and don"t explain what it is any more than "hey figured you could use this this semester" or something else. DO NOT HAVE HER UNPACK IT WHILE YOU ARE THERE.
If she"s the type (like me) to put it away immediately - don"t give it to her when you see her, when you"re about to leave pretend like you forgot you had it in your trunk and go get it/drop it off then leave.
Oh I thought you were going to see her.Tarrant220 said:
Christ if she"s spending the nite wtf are you worrying for? Just avoid blurting out "I love you".
She"s there because she wants to get back together. All you have to do is not freak her out. Don"t go overboard. Grill something.
That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard in my life. That is even stupider than the package. Dear god this is why you should never take advice from women about dealing with women.
Yeah...because CASUALLY setting up date 3 on date 2 in a way MOST girls would find endearing with ZERO possibility of face to face rejection is a bad idea.Tenks said:
You"re right. My bad.
Tarrant
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lol, all ideas are appreciated, no reason to knock them.
And yes I know she is coming over because she wants to. She stayed over two Sundays ago and things went very well, I hope to continue the trend this Sunday as well...not giving my hopes up on anything happening just going to take it easy, play it as calm and smooth as possible, not blurt out "omg i r teh luv joo" and see what happens.
She"s expressed recently she wants to be friends for now and a while longer, (this insinuates she acknowledges that things could escalate...at least to me, I may be reading to much into it I dunno) all I can do is keep what I"ve been doing and keep hopefully drawing her in.
And yes I know she is coming over because she wants to. She stayed over two Sundays ago and things went very well, I hope to continue the trend this Sunday as well...not giving my hopes up on anything happening just going to take it easy, play it as calm and smooth as possible, not blurt out "omg i r teh luv joo" and see what happens.
She"s expressed recently she wants to be friends for now and a while longer, (this insinuates she acknowledges that things could escalate...at least to me, I may be reading to much into it I dunno) all I can do is keep what I"ve been doing and keep hopefully drawing her in.
Have fun being her walking mat and go-to-guy for all of the ego-boosting she ever needs, though!
brekk
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It"s time to move on. It sucks, but shes just using you at this point, because you"re available for what she needs which is the "nice guy" part of a boyfriend.Tarrant220 said:
But her continually saying friends is giving herself a "Get of Jail Free" card so that when she finds someone else she"s more interested in she won"t feel guilty blowing you off, because "Hey, we"re just friends."
There is only one fix to "just friends" cutting all contact. Being supportive and friendly and staying around after she labels you a friend just further reinforces that decision by her.
Tarrant
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Had you read other posts, that was taken from an earlier convo where she said she was hesitant about jumping back into things quickly until she was comfortable that changes she was seeing were permanent and not just something that was temporary, which I understand, I was full emo bitch mode for awhile. We"ve talked about "us" a total of once since the breakup, "friends for now" was brought up with "until I feel comfortable with the changes you"ve made are permanent" tagged at the end of the sentence.
This chick isn"t an emotional tampon that sucks up whatever positive energy she can, shes independent and honestly if she wasn"t interested she would flat out say it, she"s not much for games as far as that goes.
She"s not using me for anything really, we talk, she doesn"t lean on me for support, compliments, ego stroking or shit like that, we just talk about stuff in general, our days, funny things that happened and what not. She has enough guy friends where if she wanted something like that she could get it from any number of sources.
I know what you"re saying though, my ex wife did that shit, I know what it looks like and I"m far from being blind to it. This is a different situation all together and yes I know most guys say that, but having been though it and experienced it before I can honestly say this isn"t anything like it.
This chick isn"t an emotional tampon that sucks up whatever positive energy she can, shes independent and honestly if she wasn"t interested she would flat out say it, she"s not much for games as far as that goes.
She"s not using me for anything really, we talk, she doesn"t lean on me for support, compliments, ego stroking or shit like that, we just talk about stuff in general, our days, funny things that happened and what not. She has enough guy friends where if she wanted something like that she could get it from any number of sources.
I know what you"re saying though, my ex wife did that shit, I know what it looks like and I"m far from being blind to it. This is a different situation all together and yes I know most guys say that, but having been though it and experienced it before I can honestly say this isn"t anything like it.
brekk
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I know I"m being overly cynical, but I just can"t see a relationship working after a precedent is set up like this, you will relapse into old habits, and you will, because these aren"t true changes, they are your attempts at working on getting her back. Notice the recent mentions of her being reminded of when you first dated? You haven"t changed, you just reverted back to on the hunt dating mode, you"re motivated by the chase, but when things settle down, if you guys get back together you will fall back into old habits. And then she will dump you back to friend status again. She"ll troll the oceans for a month or two while you work to "fix" yourself again, if she doesn"t get any other bites she can come back to you as a safety net, if she finds someone else, hey you"re still a friend for support.
Tarrant
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I"m glad I have more confidence in myself then you do.
The things I"ve done to improve upon myself aren"t temporary, and honestly with or without her they will stay the way they are now, this isn"t something I woke up one day and was like "hey i should do this....maybe that will get her back"
This was something I woke up and said "Man I need to get help....actual professional help" and went out and began seeking it. I"m not interested in reverting to the needy little bitch I was before, being insecure and being cynical about everything under the sun so I went out and got help. This wasn"t some road to self discovery I made on my own, this was me seeking out counseling and craving a real change in my life.
This is why I"m confident about my changes, they aren"t something I decided to do on my own, on a whim and simply for her.....they are changes I saw that I needed to make and I took the steps to make sure they were corrected. Please do not mistake me with the normal guy in here that says "yeah baby, I can change, just gimmi the chance" and acting like things are okay.....I"m the guy that said "holy fuck....I need to get my shit together or else I"m never going to be happy" and I took my life into my own hands and began taking small steps towards the person I wanted to be.
I have confidence in me, you don"t, but then you don"t know me....so it"s all good.
The things I"ve done to improve upon myself aren"t temporary, and honestly with or without her they will stay the way they are now, this isn"t something I woke up one day and was like "hey i should do this....maybe that will get her back"
This was something I woke up and said "Man I need to get help....actual professional help" and went out and began seeking it. I"m not interested in reverting to the needy little bitch I was before, being insecure and being cynical about everything under the sun so I went out and got help. This wasn"t some road to self discovery I made on my own, this was me seeking out counseling and craving a real change in my life.
This is why I"m confident about my changes, they aren"t something I decided to do on my own, on a whim and simply for her.....they are changes I saw that I needed to make and I took the steps to make sure they were corrected. Please do not mistake me with the normal guy in here that says "yeah baby, I can change, just gimmi the chance" and acting like things are okay.....I"m the guy that said "holy fuck....I need to get my shit together or else I"m never going to be happy" and I took my life into my own hands and began taking small steps towards the person I wanted to be.
I have confidence in me, you don"t, but then you don"t know me....so it"s all good.
I"m so confused with all the contradictions in this post.Tarrant220 said:
First you say they [the changes] <i>are</i> temporary and are things you"re doing to get your ex back. Then in the second paragraph you say you are confident you can keep the changes you made and they weren"t changes you made for her.
Brain... asplode.