Spam, spam, spam.
Ravvenn said:
Could you be a little more specific and I"ll try and get that one if I get stuck in the waiting room at my elbow surgeons office? I"m not intentionally leaving stuff out.
Sexual tension for example. Just saying I-love-you every once in a while and getting a few flowers is not really what keeps it going, even if they need that stuff too. The easiest way to create it is conflict. Tease her, make her jealous, etc. You might not want it, but its good for you.
The alpha male stuff is also something that simply
isimportant if you want to be attractive, but it is not only about being a canadian lumberjack and burping around. Raoul Schindler for example defined the roles within groups as alpha (leader), beta (specialist), gamma (worker) and omega (scapegoat). I, for example, are not a super-alphamale in person, as my voice is not very deep, I am slim but I dont look like I work out, I even look a few years younger than I am. Usually I can only be bothered to act as "leader" if I think the others are incompetent around me; far too lazy otherwise (still happens more than I want it to happen, people ARE stupid). Right now I am fighting social akwardness, as I dont like stupid people or many strangers around me... (of course the beautiful vodka always helps me change and adjust).
BUT... what I was going to say, I am still alpha. The traits for (group dynamics) alpha pretty much sum me up. For example: I am outspoken, I have no problem disagreeing with anymore. I call my profs at university out if I think they talk shit, if I dont agree with a group I stand against a dozen people and refuse to give in unless they can come up with arguments why, etc.
Being within a group kinda fucks with peoples head. They made alot of tests, you all know The Lucifer Effect / The Prison Experiment that escalated. Then there is stuff like they put people in a room and make smoke in a corner. A single person will report the Smoke ("might be a fire") with a nearly 100% chance. If there are three people in the room, the chance that someone reports the fire is down to 37%. If two of those three persons are part of the experiment and supposed to not report it, there is only a 10% chance!
It is natural not to act different than your group. Stuff like this is the reason why VANGUARD and other big projects failed. People not raising their voice (or it being ignored^^). Same is if you are chased by.. lets say an attacker. You can take two paths.. one is a sideway with a single person, the other one is a street with two dozens people. Of course you turn towards the single person, because the chance that this person might help you is higher than one of those two dozen helping you.
But.. back to what I was talking about: Stuff like that is also alpha behaviour that doesnt need rudeness or assholery to work. Main reason that being an asshole works so well is that its a mix of a) alpha male and b) most woman being crazy fuckups that need someone to treat them like shit because they dont know better and would make shit up to compensate for the lack of abuse otherwise.
Thats why I think the Mmmsomethingguy is right. His opinion might sound extreme, but the basics are right:
- You visit your date, she tells you to come in and needs another 45 minutes to get ready. You sit down and wait like a obedient little puppy. First you dont deserve your balls and second you tell her thats its okay to let your wait and show no respect.
- You visit your date, she tells you to come in and needs another 45 minutes to get ready. You tell her she got 15 minutes tops or find another way to make sure you dont play games and/or dont take her shit. Now you deserve your balls and her subconcious gives you a couple of bonus points without her known why.
Thats why I dont expect you to explain it. How would you? What you will do is find reasons and problem is, if you are looking for a reason WHY women behave like that or that you will find one (that is prolly not 100% correct) because our brains work by connecting dots. We make shit up to close gaps. "I dont know X, but I know Y and Z. Maybe it could be ..." Its a maybe that we often dont realize.
If you meet a strange creature you dont know if it is hostile or likes eating humans. But the spikes on its back, the large fangs and the sharp teeth make you RUN IN TERROR and think "OMG ITS DANGEROUS". You dont know, you just made that part up because finding out means being dinner for some animal with a good chance.
Shit tests. Of course you dont do them on purpose. You do something without really thinking about it and dont actually want to test anymore. We either accept it or stand against it. If we accept it, we say "its okay for you to do that". Its like having a girl cheat on her boyfriend and then start a relationship with her. You TAUGHT her that cheating is okay if you upgrade later!
If we stand against it, we pass the shit test and take some subconscious bonus points for being a man.
Its really simple.. you take 45 minutes longer to dress up and we are going to be late for something. If I watch TV and play little puppy .. I tell you "its okay for you to do that" (and "I have no balls"). If I stand against it (even Mmsomethingguy"s extreme method of simply leaving), I tell you "No, I do not accept this behaviour". And standing up for yourself is alpha.
=> I just got more attractive and you dont even know why.
You dont run around thinking "Boah! That guy is so manly, he showed showed me that I cannot play games!", because you dont realize that he just became a little bit more attractive to you.
If you are talking to a man in a club and an attractive girl walks by you also speak louder (to keep his attention) and prolly never realized it and for sure didnt do it on purpose. Yet you are doing it.
Your main point is right, just like Mmsomethingguy"s main point (dont take shit, be a man). Some of the details might not be 100% correct, but as long as we are aware a women wrote it about women, we should be able to process it just fine. (And again, thank you, great posting that reminded me to pay more attention to those little things!)
ps: I gotta sleep and have no time to proofread my wall of text or add a structure... sorry. And will prolly be without a computer the next days, leaving country.
