I couldn't recall if that was him or Cam. I think Blazin got the nudes from her? I couldn't remember though if Blazin only gave way too much money for the fake medical emergency.
Marriage and the Power of Divorce
- Thread starter Grumpus
- Start date
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Guest, did you like the last podcast notification?? Well here's the second one, and for the third podcast! Yep. This Thursday 8-8-24 at 7pm Central
Go here to check out his podcast thread for info on topics and links!Go into the FoH discord and find the Happy Time Fun Hour channel and give it a listen!
Khane
Got something right about marriage
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Hrmmmm...
Sounds pretty condescending and patronizing to me. And also full of it because I honestly would never believe anyone who told me they never had a wandering eye or thought. Wondering what life would be like if they hadn't settled down so soon. There's just no way.
moonarchia
The Scientific Shitlord
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Rerolled, the last place you go to for advice...
I think that might be our motto or something.
Hope it works out well for both of you.
moonarchia
The Scientific Shitlord
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Lithose
Buzzfeed Editor
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Don't usually post here, but Cad is spot on in this. Just relaying my experience, my wife and I don't play outside the bedroom--but we have 2 very good (couple) friends who do (They've invited us to a very discrete group of 'wife swap' parties; we've politely turned them down.). One of the guys is what you'd call a 'hot wife' person, he doesn't enjoy the humiliation aspect of watching his wife with someone, but he's a massive voyeur. The other people are just in an open relationship. They've both been married for 20 years, and are very happy.
Just a run down of the sales pitch we got for wife swapping (And/or 'open' relationship type stuff). It's not referred to as cuckolding usuallyunlessyou're into the humiliation aspect (This was stressed a lot, apparently it is an important distinction), typically it's called being a "hot wife" or having one (If the guy likes to watch, or hear about it or even join in sometimes butdoesn'tsleep with other women. If he does it's swinging/open, depending on if it's a one off or a long term thing)
Feelings happen, people who aren't prepared or deny this usually end with a divorce. (This was specifically for 'hot wife' stuff, and 'open' stuff, where they had a regular partner, not for just one off swinging). That 'initial' rush is where most people run into problems. The big thing communicated for us was that this doesn't last, for 6 months to a year you'll feel like a teenager very attracted to your new partner (Happens for guys and women), but then you'll kind of snap out of it, and probably even feel pretty awkward you were so 'dumb' and couldn't control yourself. The three people in the 2 couples above we've talked to, who had experiences outside the marriage (More than a one off) all said this thing about the emotional intensity of it when it begins clouding judgment.
The most important thing was being painfully honest, and trusting that your partner probably has a better view than you do--and NOT acting on the emotions outside of sex, they will fade.
Don't know more than that, they were kind of giving us 'warnings' and how to deal with it if we wanted to try it. We turned them down, neither of us was comfortable with it. But we both had very very active sex lives before marriage, so I can understand people who didn't have that being curious. Just understand that this can be difficult, if you're not extremely honest with both yourself, and your partner, especially emotionally, it can wind up pretty bad. Good luck.
iannis
Musty Nester
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Nothing wrong with swinging as long as everyone involved is into it.
But it's a razor to walk, and someone is very likely going to wind up being badly hurt unless you are painfully honest. And quite possibly even if you are. Sounds like your swinger friends are at least honest about that, so good on them.
But it's a razor to walk, and someone is very likely going to wind up being badly hurt unless you are painfully honest. And quite possibly even if you are. Sounds like your swinger friends are at least honest about that, so good on them.
Cad
scientia potentia est
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If all he said was he can't relate, then thats fine, but the 2nd part of his message was closed minded judgmental and morally superior.
Blazin
Creative Title
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your memory is correct I fell for the scam thread of needing help, she sent me nudes as thanks (unasked for). Gavin just likes ruffling my feathers. Because my wife told me not to talk to her and I did, after that people like to turn it into a sordid tale of sex lies and videotapes. My short interaction with her is relevant here in that I don't associate with single women like at all, but I could see how it became "interesting" even though it never approached something inappropriate. People in long term monogamous relationships who don't at least have a little curiosity seem really odd to me.
In retrospect my being honest with my feelings on that, I believe it was to gavinmad originally set me up for what is now 5 yrs of ribbing but if people looked at it from the light of this discussion might have understood better by what I meant. The fact this women got me to do something though rather innocuous behind my wife's back for the first time in my marriage was just an eye opener for me. Lindz saying she is already sexting somebody else is about 300% further down the road then I ever got, but I can admit I heard the siren song.
Cad
scientia potentia est
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Difference is you were lying about it and did it behind your wife's back and Lindz is doing it out in the open. Its the lying thats bad not any particular activity.
Blazin
Creative Title
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Oh I agree I didn't mean it from a judging stand point but simply doing something outside your partner. I was 100% in the wrong for not having blocked her when my wife asked me to, and I don't think Lindz is in the wrong if they both think that will work for them and it's in the open.
lindz
#DDs
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This is really great info Lithose. Thanks a ton.
^ see Moonarchia, advice! But yeah, advice is kind of the wrong word. Helpful to get other's experience with it though.
Big Phoenix
Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
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Big Phoenix
Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
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moonarchia
The Scientific Shitlord
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I was just amused at the idea of coming here for advice. I love the folks here, and have been around since the noows days, but we are a salty, cynical, sometimes even mean bunch.
Noodleface
A Mod Real Quick
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Kiroy
Marine Biologist
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neither was I until I got married - stayed with my lady for like 7 years thinking we were gonna be ok with this 'life partner' thing, which we were but we got a good bit of pressure from our families. we knew we were going to be together forever anyways so we went for it, didn't really change much but I feel like it made us closer and we were already super close. Nice to also be able to say wife when talking about her instead of some awkward girlfriend / life partner goofy shit.
Kiroy
Marine Biologist
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Just got engaged. Is it stupid to spend a lot of money on a wedding? My gut feeling is that it is. Can you married folk weigh in?