Marriage and the Power of Divorce

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Khane

Khane

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Mrs. Gravy said:
So, without clicking on some made up list of bullshit, wtf is a widow who is considering considering the possibility of dating going to have to worry about now? Do people actually believe made up lists of "she/he" crap?

As an aside, I volunteered at a community picnic/festival on Sat and Sun and was both hit on and overtly propositioned several times, by a variety of men - in the broad daylight even.
Who knew a 51 year-old woman who does not see "physically attractive" in herself could garner that type of attention? I seriously had no idea. Good for the ego, a bit frightening though too...O.K.- it scares the hell out of me. I am not ready by any stretch, I still haven't touched any of G's stuff. It remains right where he left it; just can't do it. We are 8 months to the day separated. :(
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The beauty of online dating for a person in your situation is you can talk without having to meet to get more comfortable. The things people put in their profiles typically personify who they would like to be or what they think makes them the most attractive and usually the people who have simple blurbs tend to be the most sincere about what they are actually like out in the real world. I can't speak for your age bracket but over the years I've learned one very simple thing. People who write about knowing exactly who they are and exactly what they want and write about "not wanting to waste each other's time" are usually the most full of shit.

Honestly I think the biggest thing you have to worry about is your own expectations. Dating is what you make of it.
 
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Namon

Namon

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Do you still have your wedding band on? That would be crazy if you did and those guys still hit on you. Take the confidence booster for sure, but still take your time to grieve and heal for sure.
 
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A

a_skeleton_03

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My mother is a little older than you. Okay more like a decade and she still gets asked out a bit. It's been 3 years since my dad died and I don't think she is picking up a new man ever but I don't fault her if she does.

I don't think anyone in your (or my) generation believes those lists. Yes women do them but they aren't the norm, they are the psychos. Most men can spot them a mile away and are only still with them because it's an 8 second ride.
 
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Mrs. Gravy

Mrs. Gravy

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Namon said:
Do you still have your wedding band on? That would be crazy if you did and those guys still hit on you. Take the confidence booster for sure, but still take your time to grieve and heal for sure.
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Yes, but to be fair - it is not a typical wedding band. It is the ring with which G proposed to me; it is not a typical wedding ring; it is a simple ring of an oval cut ruby surrounded by diamonds in a filigreed gold band so it may just look like a regular ring to some people.
I will definitely be taking my time; hell, I can't decide what to eat for lunch that easily most days.

(Thanks for your reply - and thanks to Khane and Suenig for the insight as well.)
 
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Cad

Cad

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Mrs. Gravy said:
Well, apparently it is or I wouldn't be so astonished. My naivete must not have any boundaries.
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Don't take this the wrong way but it seems like women act all astonished that men hit on them, or creeped out that the *wrong* men hit on them, or annoyed that silly men are taking up their time of day...

Do women realize how often you casually, without thought, reject the advances of men, and what that probably does to mens outlook on dating?

Do you realize that men, even very good looking rich social men, very rarely have women overtly hit on them? Sure, women are available if they try. But to have a woman come up and throw themselves at you the way men do to women basically 24/7 essentially never happens to us. Which is essentially why strip clubs are popular because the dancers fawn over you for your $20.
 
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Khane

Khane

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Cad said:
Don't take this the wrong way but it seems like women act all astonished that men hit on them, or creeped out that the *wrong* men hit on them, or annoyed that silly men are taking up their time of day...

Do women realize how often you casually, without thought, reject the advances of men, and what that probably does to mens outlook on dating?

Do you realize that men, even very good looking rich social men, very rarely have women overtly hit on them? Sure, women are available if they try. But to have a woman come up and throw themselves at you the way men do to women basically 24/7 essentially never happens to us. Which is essentially why strip clubs are popular because the dancers fawn over you for your $20.
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You need to stop browsing reddit.
 
Mrs. Gravy

Mrs. Gravy

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I have just been out of dating for so long, and the world appears to be vastly different than the over 27 years ago it was when I met G (I was naive then as well, let's be honest). I came from a very protected life, I wasn't even allowed to wear makeup OR have my ears pierced until I was in high school and I didn't date much until the summer after I graduated h.s. and then into college...I had a lot to learn. I must still do. So, no, I didn't take what you said at all the wrong way. Incidentally, I also was not creeped out or thought that the "wrong" men hit on me, nor did I find it a waste of my time, generally, the interaction was pleasant. The overt proposition was a bit much, but I tried to be polite (I was very busy so that made it easier to extricate myself from that one).

Remember, I have been married over half of my lifetime and feel a bit like I am in quicksand. This is why I pose the questions here; in a room full of men; to gain a wider perspective(s). That being said, I also will talk with my dear men friends (relatives and G's best friends with whom I am close) prior to making any decisions about dating.

Thanks for the input.
 
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Cad

Cad

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Mrs. Gravy said:
I have just been out of dating for so long, and the world appears to be vastly different than the over 27 years ago it was when I met G (I was naive then as well, let's be honest). I came from a very protected life, I wasn't even allowed to wear makeup OR have my ears pierced until I was in high school and I didn't date much until the summer after I graduated h.s. and then into college...I had a lot to learn. I must still do. So, no, I didn't take what you said at all the wrong way. Incidentally, I also was not creeped out or thought that the "wrong" men hit on me, nor did I find it a waste of my time, generally, the interaction was pleasant. The overt proposition was a bit much, but I tried to be polite (I was very busy so that made it easier to extricate myself from that one).

Remember, I have been married over half of my lifetime and feel a bit like I am in quicksand. This is why I pose the questions here; in a room full of men; to gain a wider perspective(s). That being said, I also will talk with my dear men friends (relatives and G's best friends with whom I am close) prior to making any decisions about dating.

Thanks for the input.
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It's all good, and I'm not even saying you shouldn't reject men. You should reject most men. Especially the ones that hit on you in public. Those guys are probably assholes. :)

You should date when you feel like dating. If you feel like dating now, then do so. If you don't feel like dating again ever... don't! Nobody's expectation of what you should do matters, except your own. Nothing wrong with going on a date, and then you'll know if you're ready, or interested.
 
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a_skeleton_02

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Been dating a girl for a couple weeks, she's already spending the night so its going good.

My question is she's a pretty hardcore cosplayer(like she has websites,business cards has been hired for photoshoots and cons and shit)

Now my main goal was to fuck her while she was dressed up as one of her cosplay characters. How do I go about approaching this? Is it too soon?

I feel like it's the backrub episode of Seinfeld all over again.
 
Frenzied Wombat

Frenzied Wombat

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a_skeleton_02 said:
Been dating a girl for a couple weeks, she's already spending the night so its going good.

My question is she's a pretty hardcore cosplayer(like she has websites,business cards has been hired for photoshoots and cons and shit)

Now my main goal was to fuck her while she was dressed up as one of her cosplay characters. How do I go about approaching this? Is it too soon?

I feel like it's the backrub episode of Seinfeld all over again.
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Just jump her while she's dressed up? No need to ask-- you're certainly not the first to fuck her in uniform.
 
Khane

Khane

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Roofie her, dress her up in one of her costumes, cover her in jello and pudding and have your way with her. You can call it Cos(by)play
 
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Soygen

Soygen

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a_skeleton_02 is comin' in hot!!!

41186.gif
 
Cad

Cad

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a_skeleton_02 said:
Been dating a girl for a couple weeks, she's already spending the night so its going good.

My question is she's a pretty hardcore cosplayer(like she has websites,business cards has been hired for photoshoots and cons and shit)

Now my main goal was to fuck her while she was dressed up as one of her cosplay characters. How do I go about approaching this? Is it too soon?

I feel like it's the backrub episode of Seinfeld all over again.
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Given that she already dresses up for a bunch of dweebs for her pay job and probably thinks how big of a loser they are all day, letting her know this is your thing runs about an 80-90% chance of cementing yourself as a loser in her mind. If you don't care about that and just wanted that one nut and you're good, then full speed ahead.
 
Hoss

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What lists are you talking about mrs g? If you do get serious about someone, make him (or her ... just throwing it out there) register here and post in this thread for our approval.

a_skeleton_02, do you cosplay too? You should be in costume too, jump her, then stay in character. If she tries to take the costume off, stop her. If she's big into cosplay she probably won't want you to mess up the costume, but I'm betting she probably doesn't reuse them too often. So do it at the end of a convention or photoshoot.
 
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