Breakdown
Gunnar Durden
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Im 32, been married since I was 20....Typical Military get married early to get off the base. High school couple, got together just about my 17th Birthday.
Pretty much hate her at this point and have no desire to see or talk to her ever. My sex drive is non existent. We have had sex 2 times in the 8 months since we had a baby, and maybe 4 total times in the last 18 months.
Im pretty much trapped with a new born. I dont know why we decided to get pregnant. But its gone down hill since then badly.
I now drink 4-5 nights a week, HEAVILY. I sleep the rest. I drank a whole bottle of bourbon yesterday during football. Depression is real. Ive been drinking heavily like thius for about 7-8 years. If I have 1 beer I have 12. Its normal for me to have 12-18 drinks on most nights that I drink.
I cant even fathom trying to date. And the idea of sleeping with someone else is too much to handle. Its scary. I have no confidence. I slept with 2 people in high school before my wife. All I know is her. Im the only one shes ever been with. I dont know what is more intimidating in my neurotic brain.
How do you even "make a move"?
Im pretty sure I am horrible sexually. The fear of poor performance is crippling.
In my head all I would think about is a new womans other partners and how I match up.
Just the confidence to do anything sexually would be too much. I imagien myself as a sexual Asian Tourist quietly apologizing and bowing as I fiddle around a nude body.
I really need to get healthy, address my alcoholism, but I doubt Ill fix either, and no idea how ill ever survive the rest of my life trapped in a marriage with no window of freedom because of my own mental blocks.
Im a fucking Tumblr case. I fantasize about my wife being killed in an accident or School shooting most days when I drive home. That would be much easier. But now with the kid I dont know if that is as appealing.
Pretty much hate her at this point and have no desire to see or talk to her ever. My sex drive is non existent. We have had sex 2 times in the 8 months since we had a baby, and maybe 4 total times in the last 18 months.
Im pretty much trapped with a new born. I dont know why we decided to get pregnant. But its gone down hill since then badly.
I now drink 4-5 nights a week, HEAVILY. I sleep the rest. I drank a whole bottle of bourbon yesterday during football. Depression is real. Ive been drinking heavily like thius for about 7-8 years. If I have 1 beer I have 12. Its normal for me to have 12-18 drinks on most nights that I drink.
I cant even fathom trying to date. And the idea of sleeping with someone else is too much to handle. Its scary. I have no confidence. I slept with 2 people in high school before my wife. All I know is her. Im the only one shes ever been with. I dont know what is more intimidating in my neurotic brain.
How do you even "make a move"?
Im pretty sure I am horrible sexually. The fear of poor performance is crippling.
In my head all I would think about is a new womans other partners and how I match up.
Just the confidence to do anything sexually would be too much. I imagien myself as a sexual Asian Tourist quietly apologizing and bowing as I fiddle around a nude body.
I really need to get healthy, address my alcoholism, but I doubt Ill fix either, and no idea how ill ever survive the rest of my life trapped in a marriage with no window of freedom because of my own mental blocks.
Im a fucking Tumblr case. I fantasize about my wife being killed in an accident or School shooting most days when I drive home. That would be much easier. But now with the kid I dont know if that is as appealing.
