Here's some mandatory reading for you or any guy whose wife displays interest in not working. She could be one of those that does go back to work, but in my experience unless they have some big wig position somewhere and/or invested a huge amount of time into their education, they typically don't.
The Real Reason Your Wife Doesn’t Want to Work
Pretty good article. I know it certainly applied to me and the way I used to be.
My first actual posting back on FoH was in the Depression/ADD threads. I was not in a good place and hadn't been since I graduated college. Mentioned I moved out as soon as college graduation to shack up with the boyfriend, while half-assedly pursuing my freelance jobs. I willfully put myself into a position where I couldn't work an actual RL 'job', not knowing the language and having no actual practical skills.
I was saying to myself 'fuck it, at least I'm with him and there's a roof over my head.' He had to work shitty jobs on his way up to something decent, and I put an enormous burden on him by just existing. He took care of me, and I made half-assed promises about all the things I would do once I got over my hatred of my chosen profession and actually
tried. I made money here and there, but it was hardly enough to consider a helpful contribution. A lot of times I didn't even get paid. Some of it honestly wasn't my fault, but a lot of it was ( picking dead end projects, not understanding the importance of contracts). I got worse, depressed. Stopped cleaning up after myself, or him. We moved back and I got grandfathered into an absolutely gravy position by an old friend that works at a certain MMO company, their third staff artist for a lucrative little start up game company. Stayed at home, slept 14 hours a day, didn't take it seriously. They gently let me go a few weeks after I found out literally all the money I'd earned in six months had been pissed away on medical expenses. He kept on taking care of me, but shit was close to breaking.
I didn't want to get a day job. I thought the prospect was frightening. I thought I wanted to 'be home', but did none of the things that should've been associated with that. Laundry piled up, sink full of dishes, stuff everywhere.
I'll skip over the relevation parts and the slow climb out of being a completely useless human being, but I'd say I had the developmental epiphany that article talks about. He doesn't exist to be my crutch or provider, and I've stopped treating him that way. Getting two jobs and getting out of the house and off boyfriend welfare has been the best thing to happen to me and our relationship. Period.
