Noodleface
A Mod Real Quick
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Marriage and the Power of Divorce
- Thread starter Grumpus
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Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!
Go here and give us your nominations!Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!
ZyyzYzzy
RIP USA
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Probably due to lack of sexor for time and hormones and possible shifting of things down there due.to pregnancy
Cad
scientia potentia est
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Yea, I'm just razzing you a bit. It'll definitely take a few poundings to get it used to being sexed again. Always sore if you take some time off.
Mrs. Gravy
Quite Saucy
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Sounds like she's been getting eiffel towered by the Boston lobsters men's doubles team while claiming to be out of commission, sorry bro.
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Noodleface
A Mod Real Quick
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Hatorade
A nice asshole.
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Seriously considering ending my 3-year relationship.
We're perfectly matched in terms of interests and getting along, but we differ in our views of kids and our sex drives (I'm 32, she's 27). Neither of us is 100% sure about having kids, but I'm more on the "probably yes" and she's more on the "probably no" sides of the spectrum. I could possibly live without kids assuming everything else in the relationship is great, but we're running into issues with sex drives, too.
I have a pretty normal, healthy sex drive, but she's got almost no libido. Like once a month at most is what she prefers. Did a lot of frank talking about possible compromises and solutions last night, but from what she said, I'm not sure it'll ever reach a compromise that works for both of us. She seemed hesitant to even compromise at twice a month, and pretty much completely shot down once a week.
So that combined with the no kids thing is really bumming me out. She's the perfect woman other than these two incompatibilities. Sad times for McCheese
Leave, sex is far too important. 13 years married this Feb and sex has been the cause of many fights, I feel like a total asshole saying this but if I had know it would be the cause of all that grief I don't think I would have put in the effort. We are OK now but had a rough couple years in that department area that the relationship felt doomed. This might be the angry side of me talking though because she pissed me off last night.
A little backstory, my wife and/or I will cook various things like rice, mashed potatoes, meats, stuffing etc. on Friday or Saturday night so we can mix and match lunches and dinners for the week. She HATES to cook on Sundays because that is the "do what we want day."
So on Sunday when she is in the kitchen preparing stuff in my mind I am like WTF is she doing. So I asked her three times at different intervals while standing in the kitchen do you need help with anything, first two times she says no. Third time she says can you cook the shrimp, I agree and say no more on the subject. Dinner times rolls around and I cook the shrimp(we already have chicken we made on Saturday but a pound of shrimp doesn't leave left overs) we eat it with dinner. After dinner she starts cutting a massive cabbage and washing it, like a three pound cabbage, perplexed I ignore it and just do the dishes. She then gets it in her head to make a cabbage soup and gets increasingly upset we don't have all the ingredients, this is after putting some of the cabbage in a tomato based soup, so I start offering solutions and she fucking yells at me because she hates cooking on Sundays.
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
I am still at maximum over rustled and pretty sure some yelling will be happening when we get to talking about it tonight.
Soygen
The Dirty Dozen For the Price of One
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Sex is secondly only to money in a relationship(in my opinion). If you aren't financially secure, nothing else really matters. After that, if you aren't both on the same page with sex, it's a deal breaker for me. Once a month is just crazy, unless you're like 92 years old. Even then...
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Haast
Lord Nagafen Raider
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So that combined with the no kids thing is really bumming me out. She's the perfect woman other than these two incompatibilities. Sad times for McCheese
Well, sex and kids are two of the major deal-breaking issues in a relationship. So that sucks. If she's an excellent partner otherwise, I'd keep trying to find a solution for now. BC can affect libido, so maybe that change would help.
However, if she's unwilling to work with you to solve major issues.... probably not the lifelong partner you want.
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Mrs. Gravy
Quite Saucy
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I questioned myself in writing this but have decided that it may be helpful.
Sex was very important early in my relationship with G. I had my first O with him, saw intensity in his eyes, felt beautiful in the way he would caress me, fucked like wild animals. It was great. It helped me bond to him. In the subsequent years, we faced issues of betrayal of intimacy but worked through those because we also had established a foundation for our future otherwise in goals and friendship. It wasn't easy, it was damn hard, but we each admired and thrived on the other qualities each of us possessed. We each worked to figure out what ways we had contributed to the situation and worked to repair it. His depression played a big role, until he talked to a dr. and a counselor he would rage. Medication helped tremendously for him to be able to be the man I met...ambitious, jovial, kind and quick witted. What else it did, though, was mess up his sexual function. He could appreciate porn, he could appreciate me, but he couldn't show it and had a hell of a time explaining it. It frustrated the hell out of him and me...at first, before I understood, Ithought it was me, that I didn't look like the 23 year old me he had met, that I wasn't like the women he was viewing and more able to sometime finish with. Well, it wasn't. We were still intimate, in holding one another...in the introduction of porn and non Intercourse sex acts with occasional surprises of actual full blown sex...rarely.
From the time of his quadruple bypass in 2006...to his death...no Intercourse...none. He worried about it...that I would stray, because, well I like sex..a lot. I missed it.
I did not stray though. He...We were more important.
Why do I write this...if sex would have been an issue early, I would have bailed. He would have bailed.
But, after facing other things in our years together, after seeing each other as perfectly imperfect, after being more open with one another, and so much more that I am unable to express in a distilled version of our lives...intimacy remained relevant, sex did not.
As a post script, I am glad that I remained faithful but am thrilled to fucking death that I have a good sex life again.
Sex was very important early in my relationship with G. I had my first O with him, saw intensity in his eyes, felt beautiful in the way he would caress me, fucked like wild animals. It was great. It helped me bond to him. In the subsequent years, we faced issues of betrayal of intimacy but worked through those because we also had established a foundation for our future otherwise in goals and friendship. It wasn't easy, it was damn hard, but we each admired and thrived on the other qualities each of us possessed. We each worked to figure out what ways we had contributed to the situation and worked to repair it. His depression played a big role, until he talked to a dr. and a counselor he would rage. Medication helped tremendously for him to be able to be the man I met...ambitious, jovial, kind and quick witted. What else it did, though, was mess up his sexual function. He could appreciate porn, he could appreciate me, but he couldn't show it and had a hell of a time explaining it. It frustrated the hell out of him and me...at first, before I understood, Ithought it was me, that I didn't look like the 23 year old me he had met, that I wasn't like the women he was viewing and more able to sometime finish with. Well, it wasn't. We were still intimate, in holding one another...in the introduction of porn and non Intercourse sex acts with occasional surprises of actual full blown sex...rarely.
From the time of his quadruple bypass in 2006...to his death...no Intercourse...none. He worried about it...that I would stray, because, well I like sex..a lot. I missed it.
I did not stray though. He...We were more important.
Why do I write this...if sex would have been an issue early, I would have bailed. He would have bailed.
But, after facing other things in our years together, after seeing each other as perfectly imperfect, after being more open with one another, and so much more that I am unable to express in a distilled version of our lives...intimacy remained relevant, sex did not.
As a post script, I am glad that I remained faithful but am thrilled to fucking death that I have a good sex life again.
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Big_w_powah
Trakanon Raider
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The one exception to "fuck that dumb cunt don't give her the light of day" (which I subscribe to for ex's)...is if theres kid's...Then you HAVE to remain at least cordial to each other; You don't have to like each other for communicate for anything other than the kid's needs..But you need to be able to have those communications without a referee.
moonarchia
The Scientific Shitlord
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Mrs. Gravy
Quite Saucy
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Springbok
Karen
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Yikes - get a mistress. All my friends with outside girlfriends or whatever are happy as hell and their wives are too! They just don't know why, but it can suit both parties fine.
Aldarion
Egg Nazi
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Aside from the ethical parts (that whole breaking a vow thing) -- fuck that. One woman is a headache, why would you think adding a second woman (who the first one cant find out about) would be less of a headache?
I can understand people who leave unhappy marriages and people who stay in unhappy marriages. I'll never understand people who stick around but cheat. Sounds great -- all the headaches of a wife PLUS the stupidity of the dating world PLUS having to keep secrets? No thanks.
I can understand people who leave unhappy marriages and people who stay in unhappy marriages. I'll never understand people who stick around but cheat. Sounds great -- all the headaches of a wife PLUS the stupidity of the dating world PLUS having to keep secrets? No thanks.
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iannis
Musty Nester
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It really sounds like it was the right call.
That's a horrible place to be, where it's just no one's fault. Honestly -- I'd rather be betrayed. It's easier to integrate.
"Oh well, I'm a chump and she's a whore" vs. "God dammit, so close".
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Yeah, I have a big fucking crush on you right now because of how you honoured the commitment you made to him.
Folks, you read it here. Being together can be even more important than regular sex, and the relationship can be incredibly fulfilling. It's this level of commitment I think we need more of in general.
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iannis
Musty Nester
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