Marriage and the Power of Divorce

iannis

Musty Nester
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Yeah, that's the thing. For a man what matters is "did you suck the dick or didn't you?". Not "did you want to suck the dick?" or "did you flirt with him and make him think he was about to get his dick sucked?"

That's all honor is.
 

iannis

Musty Nester
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Picture your ass in free fall. It's dark, you're half-asleep, and in an attempt to relieve yourself you find for a half-instant you are falling into oblivion. Something catches you, and its an ice-cold ring of porcelain. You bite back your howl of dismay. The one that supposedly loves you most has betrayed you.

:worf:
 

moonarchia

The Scientific Shitlord
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Picture your ass in free fall. It's dark, you're half-asleep, and in an attempt to relieve yourself you find for a half-instant you are falling into oblivion. Something catches you, and its an ice-cold ring of porcelain. You bite back your howl of dismay. The one that supposedly loves you most has betrayed you.

The Sound(ing) and the Furry.
 

iannis

Musty Nester
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You've got some weird hang-ups about stuff like that, though. I have a vague memory about switching sex positions grossing you out.

I close my toilet lids because I don't want my cats in the toilets. The point is any woman who complains about it because they have fallen(or might fall) into the toilet is an idiot who should look before they sit. I've heard "It's dark at night". So it's dark at night for me too and I still open the lid instead of pissing all over it.

Faaaaaancy.
 

Noodleface

A Mod Real Quick
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Yeah, that's the thing. For a man what matters is "did you suck the dick or didn't you?". Not "did you want to suck the dick?" or "did you flirt with him and make him think he was about to get his dick sucked?"

That's all honor is.
I don't know if I agree. If my wife told me she wanted to suck some dudes dick but didn't for honors sake I'd be a little put off.

I know that's a double standard because I spend all day thinking of how I can fuck coworkers.
 

iannis

Musty Nester
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I don't know if I agree. If my wife told me she wanted to suck some dudes dick but didn't for honors sake I'd be a little put off.

I know that's a double standard because I spend all day thinking of how I can fuck coworkers.

I'm just dead inside, dude. That's all.
 
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Mrs. Gravy

Quite Saucy
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I don't know if I agree. If my wife told me she wanted to suck some dudes dick but didn't for honors sake I'd be a little put off.

I know that's a double standard because I spend all day thinking of how I can fuck coworkers.
A little put off, I could live with....wonder about Mrs. Noodle.
 

Khane

Got something right about marriage
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But what if she was like "I was at a party and I really wanted to suck Craig's dick, so I did. But I cleaned the table and did the dishes and you can raid whenever you want"
 
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Deathwing

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It's all in the delivery and context. I'm sure you'd react differently if it was some female's large rack she wanted to suck instead.
 

Noodleface

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But what if she was like "I was at a party and I really wanted to suck Craig's dick, so I did. But I cleaned the table and did the dishes and you can raid whenever you want"
I dunno man then I'd have to think about it.

Would I still be in a corpse guild?
 
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Khane

Got something right about marriage
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Nah dude you could actually play the game then. Bring on the dicks I say!
 
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Mrs. Gravy

Quite Saucy
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I had something extremely unusual (for me) happen last evening. I feel combination of freaked out and flattered. I am still shaking my head and am trying to process it.
After working 12 hours, I decided to go out to dinner instead of home to eat cereal. I chose a small but nice local place. Upon arrival, a male friend of mine and his friend/business partner were there for a working dinner. Instead of sitting alone, I joined them as they invited me. Immediately we were razzing one another and our waitress...who has apparently waited on those two before...joined in on the shit-giving. She proceeds to tell us that she recently got her nipples pierced. This astonishes me...that in a nice restaurant a person would be so forthcoming with relative strangers. The guys just laughed at me because of the look of surprise I had on my face. Three glasses of wine in...I bet them that I can get her to show them to me. I win the bet.
She flirts openly with us, but touches one of the guys often. I am pretty sure she would do him on the produce boxes in the kitchen but the guys think otherwise. So, being who they are they pose her a question about which one of them she would choose to lick...I bet it would be the one she had been touching.
I lost the bet.
She said she would choose me...and she meant it. WTF? I got totally hit on by a buxom 25 year old girl. Is this how the world is now? I mean it was hilarious but I am amazed at her boldness and a bit at mine as well.
No, I did not take her up on it...if it would have been a 25 year old guy, would have been a different story perhaps. Weird, the world is weird now.
Thank you for the therapy...I mean who the hell else do I share this with...my sisters likely would be appalled I think...ok....now that I have that off my chest, I need to get back to work.
 
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Deathwing

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If you want the nice answer, just accept that you're attractive.

If you want the overthinking answer, the waitress picked the only choice that would make all three of you happy.

And of course, it could have been both.
 

Kirun

Buzzfeed Editor
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My girlfriend has told me she knows I won't cheat because I'm cheap and I hate dealing with people. True story. And she's correct.

The fine line you want to walk is for your girlfriend/wife to think that you won't cheat, but that you could.

That dishes exchange between Noodle and his wife still rustles the shit out of my jimmies. She's a stay-at-home, he cooks after work, then she expects him to not only do the dishes (after HE cooked?!), but do them immediately or else she's gonna ground him like a 10-year old boy? Fucking A. Nuclear over-rustle achieved.

It's his own fault. Women really only think they can get away with that type of behavior if you allow it. This is the same man that let his wife pick out the fucking grill..the GRILL.
 

moonarchia

The Scientific Shitlord
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If you want the nice answer, just accept that you're attractive.

If you want the overthinking answer, the waitress picked the only choice that would make all three of you happy.

And of course, it could have been both.

Just the tip?
 
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