Marriage and the Power of Divorce

iannis

iannis

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I don't know that you need external help, but you do need to get her to address it.

I'll get the same way sometimes. Just in a foul fucking mood. It's not hunger for me, but I understand even though the trigger is different. It is a thing which is amenable to self control. Mostly it takes realization that it's happening. Right in the thick of it it's not always obvious.

And it's not something that's going to fix all at once, either. It's a deep personality trait. But it can be mitigated. It doesn't have to simply be suffered.

Do you fight with her enough? Everyone likes to talk about fuckin and sure there's truth in that. But for some people fightin is a lot like fuckin and sometimes a good fight is even more cathartic.
 
Mures

Mures

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Not getting a divorce, just posting this here because it gets more views. Anyone have any prior experiences with superiors hitting on them? I know Mrs. Gravy had an issue recently, though I don't remember the conclusion if there was one. The company I worked for was recently bought by another company. The head of my dept came and spent two weeks with me to help with the transition/get things started. I suspected she thinks I'm cute, just very friendly and a little touchy for someone you've just met. She went back to her store yesterday and today she texts me asking me to call her. I call her and in the conversation with nothing being pertinent she says, "oh I love you", "it's good to hear your voice", and "I miss you." It was a little awkward, I replied "we miss you too" saying we because she's very good at what she does and was very helpful to everyone over here. Its very possible she's just being friendly, especially because she knows I have confidence issues from being massively obese for my entire life up until recently, so its likely just a friendly confidence boosting tool. But in the event it is something more serious I was just wondering if there were any tips to dodge that and in a tactful way.

And because I know you want to know, I'm 33, she's 57. Not bad looking for 57, (I wouldn't have guessed she was that old - her mother is 81 and still goes out dancing with her much younger boyfriend until 4 in the morning), petite, nice butt. Just not interested for other obvious reasons.
 
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iannis

iannis

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Are you Schmidt?

It'll die on the vine if you don't encourage it. She might just call you honey for the rest of your life.

Give her the d. And get freaky with it, too.
 
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Zaara

Zaara

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It's not the quite same thing the other way around, but yeah, that shit gets hairy.

The guy that trained me at work had been in a 10 year relationship with someone he knew didn't love him. Their relationship was passionless, he still lived with his mom, they didn't really have much in common, his attachment issues sprung from the fact that he didn't think he could do any better. Why did I know this? I became his personal therapist on the job.

I didn't have much problem with it until the language/dynamic changed. I would come in when his shift ended, and it became an every day occurance of him waiting for me to leave on my first deliveries and cornering me in my car/in the parking lot to babble about shit. Like car is literally on, I'm in reverse ready to back out and have been for the past few minutes, and he's still yammering. Started going for hugs a lot. Through the open window of my car, bless the poor fucker. His girlfriend left him, started going on benders, started texting me. Didn't really take a hint. I was trying to be kind because A) it's the workplace and B) yeah, I pitied the guy. But after a certain point you gotta stop suffering discomfort for the sake of others.

One time I'm doing dishes and he's standing beside me talking about something or other. I stop, he goes for the hug, and I put my hand up to stop him. Because dude, no. We don't need to hug every time you leave. And he actually had the gall to call me on it. "You just did a hand gesture like you didn't want me to hug you?"

It's called body language for a reason. I just stared at him. Stopped talking to me completely after that after 1 or 2 texts I didn't respond to, and he got a transfer to another store a month later. Problem solved.
 
Cad

Cad

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Alex said:
She actually said she loves you? That's insane.
Click to expand...

Nah, I've had a lot of older ladies be like "We love having you" and stuff like that. Very affectionate and treat you like their grandkid or something. I'll grant you there's a difference between what I said and "I love you" and if she said it that way... then yea, agree thats pretty intense for a work lady.
 
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Hoss

Hoss

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Don't read too much into it mures. 'Oh I love you' from a woman who is probably older than your mom doesn't mean what you think it does. It means she's impressed with something about your work ethic or cleverness. Unless you know for a fact she's a cradle robber, don't worry about her.

I mean, I want to tell you to fuck her like a few others have, but you already shut the door on that. So friend zone her and be her gay friend if she really makes you nervous.
 
Mures

Mures

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Tarrant said:
Could you get a promotion out of it? o_O
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Yes.

Zaara said:
It's not the quite same thing the other way around, but yeah, that shit gets hairy.

The guy that trained me at work had been in a 10 year relationship with someone he knew didn't love him. Their relationship was passionless, he still lived with his mom, they didn't really have much in common, his attachment issues sprung from the fact that he didn't think he could do any better. Why did I know this? I became his personal therapist on the job.

I didn't have much problem with it until the language/dynamic changed. I would come in when his shift ended, and it became an every day occurance of him waiting for me to leave on my first deliveries and cornering me in my car/in the parking lot to babble about shit. Like car is literally on, I'm in reverse ready to back out and have been for the past few minutes, and he's still yammering. Started going for hugs a lot. Through the open window of my car, bless the poor fucker. His girlfriend left him, started going on benders, started texting me. Didn't really take a hint. I was trying to be kind because A) it's the workplace and B) yeah, I pitied the guy. But after a certain point you gotta stop suffering discomfort for the sake of others.

One time I'm doing dishes and he's standing beside me talking about something or other. I stop, he goes for the hug, and I put my hand up to stop him. Because dude, no. We don't need to hug every time you leave. And he actually had the gall to call me on it. "You just did a hand gesture like you didn't want me to hug you?"

It's called body language for a reason. I just stared at him. Stopped talking to me completely after that after 1 or 2 texts I didn't respond to, and he got a transfer to another store a month later. Problem solved.
Click to expand...
Yeah, something like this is the only reason why it worries me now. I have no problems with it so far, but if it escalates things could get hairy.

Alex said:
She actually said she loves you? That's insane.
Click to expand...
Cad said:
Nah, I've had a lot of older ladies be like "We love having you" and stuff like that. Very affectionate and treat you like their grandkid or something. I'll grant you there's a difference between what I said and "I love you" and if she said it that way... then yea, agree thats pretty intense for a work lady.
Click to expand...
Right. Hard to convey over a forum I know. Why I added the "oh" in front of I love you, because it wasn't "I love you." It was more of a friendly "oh I love you".
 
Mures

Mures

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Hoss said:
Unless you know for a fact she's a cradle robber, don't worry about her.
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Good call, suppose it doesn't hurt to let her have her fun, even if it is flirtatious, just hope it doesn't go past that and/or turn into a situation like Zaara.
 
Haast

Haast

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Soygen said:
That's a tough one. Her being a dick to the kid would definitely push me to give her an ultimatum on that kind of behavior, were she my wife. Good luck!
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Same, this is where I'd really draw the line. Though I'd find it tiresome if someone flipped out on me all the time as well.

EDIT: I see we changed gears quickly. Dammit.
 
Hoss

Hoss

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Mures said:
Good call, suppose it doesn't hurt to let her have her fun, even if it is flirtatious, just hope it doesn't go past that and/or turn into a situation like Zaara.
Click to expand...

Yeah, since she's cute and still holding together, odds are she's just always been a flirt.
 
Noodleface

Noodleface

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Mures in my mind I wouldn't really look into that further than a nice old lady. I mean if she starts getting aggressive and you want to toss her a bone then by all means. I had a touchy feely boss and it was gross.
 
Omi43221

Omi43221

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Hatorade said:
When my wife is hungry and/or low blood sugar she seethes hate for all things out of all her very being. It is palpable in the air and holy shit if we are in the car on the way to eat I feel like a hostage. Don't talk, no music, just drive in silence or potential suffer her wrath.

After she eats she is amazing and we have a great time as usual. She knows this and says she hates that about herself. I don't take it personally but after all these years it is starting to weigh heavy on me and I am pretty sure my daughter as well.

I am fairly certain she can't change since it is biological but I might be wrong. I thought about just saying fuck this deal with your shit on your own and essentially stop caring when she is being crazy, but that seems like a slippery slope that ends in divorce.

I tried the keep snacks close at hand but she doesn't like snacks on the whole and especially before she eats.

When she stops being a crazy person she apologizes, says things like one day you are going to leave me because of stuff like this. I immediately deny it but after 10 or so years of her apologizing my inner monologue is starting to agree with her.

I love her more than anything but I am getting tired FoH. Any ideas what I can do?

Oh and as shitty as this sounds her TMJ and 100% drop off on the blowjob front is likely fucking with my perspective. She use to apologize with amazing head, and there is nothing to replace that loss.
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This is a tough one, because honestly she probably is borderline diabetic just doesn't quite test positive for it yet. It's not like she is trying to turn into a hangry monster. Also give her props for admitting when she goes over the line, trust me there are plenty of women who don't do that. I think if I were in your situation and had a kid the two things I would want is one she needs to find a pattern of eating that works for her. Find it, stick to it. Tell her you realize that there are going to be days she cant follow the routine but you need to see that she is trying her best to stick to it. Second, you need to get her to agree that when you tell her she has gone hangry she just needs to accept it. She needs to accept there are moments she cant trust her own judgement and just needs to trust yours. She doesn't get to question it in the moment just accept what you say.

Also no blowjobs? That blows. ..that doesn't sound quite right. That sucks...no that doesn't sound right either. Anyway there isn't anything else in your sex box of desires she can use to apologize? Lapdances ? Handjobs? Oily titty fucks? Anal? Come on there has got to be something else.
 
TrollfaceDeux

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Mures said:
Not getting a divorce, just posting this here because it gets more views. Anyone have any prior experiences with superiors hitting on them? I know Mrs. Gravy had an issue recently, though I don't remember the conclusion if there was one. The company I worked for was recently bought by another company. The head of my dept came and spent two weeks with me to help with the transition/get things started. I suspected she thinks I'm cute, just very friendly and a little touchy for someone you've just met. She went back to her store yesterday and today she texts me asking me to call her. I call her and in the conversation with nothing being pertinent she says, "oh I love you", "it's good to hear your voice", and "I miss you." It was a little awkward, I replied "we miss you too" saying we because she's very good at what she does and was very helpful to everyone over here. Its very possible she's just being friendly, especially because she knows I have confidence issues from being massively obese for my entire life up until recently, so its likely just a friendly confidence boosting tool. But in the event it is something more serious I was just wondering if there were any tips to dodge that and in a tactful way.

And because I know you want to know, I'm 33, she's 57. Not bad looking for 57, (I wouldn't have guessed she was that old - her mother is 81 and still goes out dancing with her much younger boyfriend until 4 in the morning), petite, nice butt. Just not interested for other obvious reasons.
Click to expand...
are you sure this is not @Mrs. Gravy and we are finally getting some male perspective?
 
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