Marriage and the Power of Divorce

Control said:

You said your wife is Japanese right or at least that she moved here from Japan? I feel like this HAS to be something you already know, but just in case... It maybe a bit stereotypical, but I'll go out on a limb and say she doesn't actually think a "good father" is someone who's great at taking care of the kids and cooking. I mean, expecting the dad to be the breadwinner is pretty universal, but in Japan, where a guy is defined by his job/company? Imo, none of the other stuff actually matters, she's lost respect for you because you aren't providing. That doesn't mean it's easy to fix, but trying to fix it by doing more chores is exactly the opposite of what will help the problem. If you want to save your marriage, fuck your pride, go get 2 minimum wage jobs, and be the best minimum wage employee ever until you upgrade.

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You have a medical condition @Xarpolis ? I never would have guessed that when I met you, you seemed the picture of health.

Regardless of the stuff you posted about her family, I'd say that @Control is pretty on the money here. Japanese women are conditioned to treat their husband as the breadwinner and that culture is a hard thing to break. She never had any problems with you when you were employed with a good job right?

I hate to say it, but Japanese women tend to look at marriage as a business transaction rather than a love thing. They pick a guy with a stable job and income and settle in to become a mother by 30, at which time they will quit their job and settle into being a homebody. Have you ever talked to her about her future plans? She's a nurse, but does she want to stay a nurse or does she want to become a full time mum?

A Japanese woman wanting a divorce is like.. ridiculously rare. Divorces in general are very, very low in Japan (probably because of that marrying as a partnership thing rather than for love - as long as your guy is still providing or your woman is still taking care of the kids, all is right) - a lot of my students can't stand their wife, and this is a big part of why Japanese men work so much.

Sooo, the fact that she brought this up point blank. I'm frankly shocked. I have to imagine it's pregnancy hormones and your lack of job related. My advice? Talk to her parents. They can probably give you a bead on what's going on.. and it may be a bit underhanded but they will probably put a word into her ear not to do it. No Japanese parents wants their pregnant mother of soon to be two to be thinking they want a divorce.