Marriage and the Power of Divorce
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Noodleface
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I'm the breadwinner and honestly I feel slighted when I need to do daily chores like dishes.
If my wife were working (and making half what I make) I'd probably feel less that way.
If my wife were working (and making half what I make) I'd probably feel less that way.
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Soygen
The Dirty Dozen For the Price of One
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Noodleface
A Mod Real Quick
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Zaara
I'm With HER ♀
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'Doesn't matter if she earns more, works harder/longer. It's still her specific personal responsibility to keep my house spotless, and acquiring the help of someone else so that housework doesn't add up to a cumulative 60+ hour work week is undesireable.'
Shut the fuck up.
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Springbok
Karen
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Derp - making more money is always a sign someone is working harder/longer. They both work, what the feck are you on about. It's not gender specific - if you can't manage your household after a white collar day sitting in an office with no kids, how the fuck do you reckon it's going to go with 2 rugrats running around tearing shit up. Judging by Picasso's posts, he works full time too and still has time to refinish basements, do remodeling around the house, etc. You know, saving actual money instead of spending more because his wife "works harder/longer". What's her excuse exactly?
You sound like an absolute joy to live with, sweetheart.
Koushirou
Log Wizard
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There's been plenty of examples in this thread alone of couples where both work full-time but since the guy makes more the woman needs to do more chores to make up for the guy providing her a better lifestyle. This never seems to apply going the opposite direction somehow.
Springbok
Karen
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Well ya, this is an Everquest message board in it's 4th iteration. You say that like you're surprised a bunch of gamerbros want to have their cake and eat it too. The only examples I can recall are mostly of men who work, and wives who stay at home and haven't bothered vacuuming for 2 weeks so the breadwinner comes home to clean house.
The "work load" needs to be equal. If he's down in his hobbit hole all weekend trying to create value for "the team" remodeling the home in his free time (you know, after working a full week himself), and she's bitching about doing the fucking dishes because "patriarchy" or some shit she heard on NPR, something is sincerely fucked up there regardless of how much money she makes.
The "work load" needs to be equal. If he's down in his hobbit hole all weekend trying to create value for "the team" remodeling the home in his free time (you know, after working a full week himself), and she's bitching about doing the fucking dishes because "patriarchy" or some shit she heard on NPR, something is sincerely fucked up there regardless of how much money she makes.
Zaara
I'm With HER ♀
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You live in an age of convenience. We buy dishwashers and washing machines and vacuum cleaners for a reason. This isn't the 1950s where a housewife could have being a home maker be a full time job, but don't underestimate the amount of hours a person has to spend keeping a house actually, legitimately clean. Even if you're good at time management and have it spread out with an hour spent every weekday, you're still talking about the Saturday morning clean where your wife is on her hands and knees scrubbing kitchen cabinets, washing tubs, all of that shit.
I'm not trying to say the amount of money she'd making the hours she works automatically exempts her from housework, but your insistence that it's 'fucked up' for a woman to employ outside help when the money exists for her to do so makes no sense. What's fucked up about it? Picasso's offering to pay for it, but ostensibly she would be able to pay for it herself anyway. But she shouldn't...because she has no kids?
Koushirou's right. If the roles were reversed, you'd be saying she has a moral obligation and responsibility to haul her domestic weight. But she's still got that responsibility despite her work hours and income. Literally because she is the woman, and is somehow intrinsically less of one by having a maid work for her. It's well and good if you want to rest your laurels on the relationship paradigm that's been going on since the dawn of time, but to go the extra distance and say she is fucked up for wanting to make her life easier is frankly ridiculous.
I'm not trying to say the amount of money she'd making the hours she works automatically exempts her from housework, but your insistence that it's 'fucked up' for a woman to employ outside help when the money exists for her to do so makes no sense. What's fucked up about it? Picasso's offering to pay for it, but ostensibly she would be able to pay for it herself anyway. But she shouldn't...because she has no kids?
Koushirou's right. If the roles were reversed, you'd be saying she has a moral obligation and responsibility to haul her domestic weight. But she's still got that responsibility despite her work hours and income. Literally because she is the woman, and is somehow intrinsically less of one by having a maid work for her. It's well and good if you want to rest your laurels on the relationship paradigm that's been going on since the dawn of time, but to go the extra distance and say she is fucked up for wanting to make her life easier is frankly ridiculous.
Springbok
Karen
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No no, it's fucked up because its a double standard. If he was adamant that all of the repairs, remodeling, yard work, whatever-bullshit-man-work around the house be done by professionals instead of by him in his spare time, and not extend that privilege to his wife for things she typically does, it would be just as ludicrous. We're talking about emptying the dishwasher here, not nuking the house with chemicals or deep cleaning the carpet every weekend. The point is, and was, if it's too much of a burden to do that piddly bullshit now, when it's just the two of them (aka they require a maid to take care of a home for two people - which is in itself utterly ridiculous regardless of income) - the idea that someday they will have kids is a terrifying proposition.
I'd expect my wife to WANT to do that kind of shit for the same reason that I (mostly) WANT to do the stupid man bullshit. Pride of ownership. It's like buying a car vs someone giving you one. I treated my first car like the piece of utter shit it was - filet o fish wrappers everywhere, joints, empty 40's etc (high school was weird). Now, looking back it was simply a maturity thing, and a lazy cop out. Every car I've purchased since then has been babied and cared for because of the pride I felt purchasing it. Why is housework any different? I don't really get it.
I'd expect my wife to WANT to do that kind of shit for the same reason that I (mostly) WANT to do the stupid man bullshit. Pride of ownership. It's like buying a car vs someone giving you one. I treated my first car like the piece of utter shit it was - filet o fish wrappers everywhere, joints, empty 40's etc (high school was weird). Now, looking back it was simply a maturity thing, and a lazy cop out. Every car I've purchased since then has been babied and cared for because of the pride I felt purchasing it. Why is housework any different? I don't really get it.
Koushirou
Log Wizard
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Don't get me wrong: I think basing chores on money earned and not hours worked is stupid. I made almost triple what my BF made before his new job but I didn't expect him to pull more work at home because he made less. I work a cushy ass job as a software engineer coding and shitposting all day and he had to pull overnights and shitty shifts at 7-11 dealing with drunks and meth heads for customers full time. He definitely had a harder day 99% of the time. I still cook though because I'm better at it. I also try not to treat our relationship like a score board that needs to be perfectly balanced because that way just leads to madness.
But yeah there's no reason his wife shouldn't be able to hire a maid when it's not going to hurt financially and she's working full-time. If she was stay-at-home or something, that'd be a better argument because wtf else is she doing.
But yeah there's no reason his wife shouldn't be able to hire a maid when it's not going to hurt financially and she's working full-time. If she was stay-at-home or something, that'd be a better argument because wtf else is she doing.
chaos
Buzzfeed Editor
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Hoss
Make America's Team Great Again
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Reminds me of the old saying that women are incomprehensible. And if they ever get a notion that you've figured them out, they'll instantly change all the rules. So if you do figure your woman out (it seems you have), it's important to keep fucking random things up once in a while so she doesn't realize it. Control what the drama comes from.
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