Noodleface
A Mod Real Quick
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Marriage and the Power of Divorce
- Thread starter Grumpus
- Start date
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Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!
Go here and give us your nominations!Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!
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Mrs. Gravy
Quite Saucy
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Silly wymenz.
btw, I agree with you
also I am still coming off anesthesia so who knows what I am keying.
moonarchia
The Scientific Shitlord
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Prodigal
Shitlord, Offender of the Universe
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Mrs. Gravy
Quite Saucy
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Not dilating, did have to pee in a cup for pre surgery pregnancy test...I am not, btw.
Had a wire guided surgical excision of a cluster of suspicious calcifications in my left breast. Will know in a few days if it's benign or B 10.
Phazael
Confirmed Beta Shitlord, Fat Bastard
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Yeah trying to get my wife to get her funbags checked out since she is closing in on 50 and never goes. She hates doctors more than I do, which is saying something, but as a native Californian with a huge natural set of cans and ginger complexion, she is fairly high risk for that kind of shit.
moonarchia
The Scientific Shitlord
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Haven't you gone through the big M yet? If so, why would they give you a pregnancy test? Good luck with the test results!
Mrs. Gravy
Quite Saucy
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Nope, I am 52 but youthful remember. I am circling it but who knows how long that will take.
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Wake up this morning:
Her "I was right the toilet was running"
"What? "
"I said i heard water running last night, i did and it was the toilet"
"Ok"
"Can you fix the toilet running, i can't"
And of course when i walk in the bathroom 10 minutes later the toilet isn't running.
Her "I was right the toilet was running"
"What? "
"I said i heard water running last night, i did and it was the toilet"
"Ok"
"Can you fix the toilet running, i can't"
And of course when i walk in the bathroom 10 minutes later the toilet isn't running.
Soygen
The Dirty Dozen For the Price of One
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Cutlery
Kill All the White People
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We passed 18 years earlier in the year, and I have similar feelings to this post and the one following it. I've definitely made some gigantic mistakes in my life, some I'm still paying for today, but the beautiful thing is that if you're self aware, you're probably harder on yourself for them than your woman is.
I have a firm belief that my marriage is far less of a testament to my character than it is of my wife's. She is a top notch, genuinely amazing human being, and her unwavering loyalty to me through everything we've been through can not be overstated. While I would characterize most of my life as a string of undocumented colossal failures, she refuses to entertain the notion of being anywhere but by my side.
I really don't know what the fuck I ever did to deserve that kind of treatment, but I won the lottery, especially considering I got married at 19 and knew her for a grand total of 4 months before then.
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Hoss
Make America's Team Great Again
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I'm always telling my wife she must have cheated on her taxes in a past life.
Eventually I had to tell her this joke.
God tells Tony that because he cheated on his income taxes, the only way he can enter Heaven is to marry a stupid, ugly woman.
A few days later, as Tony’s walking in the park with his stupid, hideous new wife when he spots his friend John with an absolutely drop dead gorgeous woman.
“John, what happened?” Tony asks.
“I have no idea,” John replies. “When I got to heaven, I was told I led a good life and that this would be my new wife!”
As they parted ways, Tony heard John's wife mutter "Fucking Taxes"
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Cutlery
Kill All the White People
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What, a guy hits a home run, but he's fat it's not a home run? It's gotta be perfect?
Hoss
Make America's Team Great Again
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It's possible you're missing a sense of humour. But it's more likely that I messed up by shortening it because I couldn't find a good version on the interwebz to copy/paste. It's an old joke that for some reason I think everyone knows. It's much better when there are 3 friends and the first 2 wound up with ugly chicks for cheating on their taxes. The magic of 3s in jokes.
moonarchia
The Scientific Shitlord
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So you and new still have a chance to have some grand babies?
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Mrs. Gravy
Quite Saucy
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EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK - take that back - take that back!!!
(If I have nightmares tonight about that I am going to be quite upset with you; random internet person!)
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