Marriage and the Power of Divorce

Yeah trying to get my wife to get her funbags checked out since she is closing in on 50 and never goes. She hates doctors more than I do, which is saying something, but as a native Californian with a huge natural set of cans and ginger complexion, she is fairly high risk for that kind of shit.

Blazin said:

Just hit 18yrs married (together 22), we don't really do anything for anniversaries other than the 5s. So starting to get excited for 20 because that means an exciting vacation somewhere we haven't been. Feeling old when I think back on our history but physically we are probably in the best shape of our lives. We have a couple other posters in this thread right around same age/marriage length and just want to say I salute you, it feels like it's becoming rarer (long term monogamy) with divorce all around us but I wouldn't trade my life for anything. LT relationships and rearing children is certainly not for everyone but watching the fruit of your labors is one heck of a reward, our anniversary often makes me think about our children with whom I couldn't be prouder. Salut!

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We passed 18 years earlier in the year, and I have similar feelings to this post and the one following it. I've definitely made some gigantic mistakes in my life, some I'm still paying for today, but the beautiful thing is that if you're self aware, you're probably harder on yourself for them than your woman is.

I have a firm belief that my marriage is far less of a testament to my character than it is of my wife's. She is a top notch, genuinely amazing human being, and her unwavering loyalty to me through everything we've been through can not be overstated. While I would characterize most of my life as a string of undocumented colossal failures, she refuses to entertain the notion of being anywhere but by my side.

I really don't know what the fuck I ever did to deserve that kind of treatment, but I won the lottery, especially considering I got married at 19 and knew her for a grand total of 4 months before then.

Cutlery said:

I really don't know what the fuck I ever did to deserve that kind of treatment, but I won the lottery,

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I'm always telling my wife she must have cheated on her taxes in a past life.

Eventually I had to tell her this joke.

God tells Tony that because he cheated on his income taxes, the only way he can enter Heaven is to marry a stupid, ugly woman.

A few days later, as Tony’s walking in the park with his stupid, hideous new wife when he spots his friend John with an absolutely drop dead gorgeous woman.

“John, what happened?” Tony asks.

“I have no idea,” John replies. “When I got to heaven, I was told I led a good life and that this would be my new wife!”

As they parted ways, Tony heard John's wife mutter "Fucking Taxes"

No, it is a good one.

Alex said:

Am I missing something or does that joke suck?

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What, a guy hits a home run, but he's fat it's not a home run? It's gotta be perfect?

Alex said:

Am I missing something or does that joke suck?

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It's possible you're missing a sense of humour. But it's more likely that I messed up by shortening it because I couldn't find a good version on the interwebz to copy/paste. It's an old joke that for some reason I think everyone knows. It's much better when there are 3 friends and the first 2 wound up with ugly chicks for cheating on their taxes. The magic of 3s in jokes.