Marriage and the Power of Divorce

Faking it isn't some precursor to things falling to shit. I know women who's husbands can't get them off, not due to anything their husbands are doing but they are just VERY hard to get off. One woman I know literally has only been able to give herself an O a handful of times. ( i grew up with her, we talk about sex and whatever else, we're pretty open) So fast forward to now and her husband while knowing she is VERY tough to get off, feels bad....like REALLY bad if he can't do it.

Now she's very happy with him and loves him very much so sometime she'll "pop one off" for him and it gives him an incredible ego boost and he doesn't feel bad for thinking he can't sexually please his wife. Some guys don't get that for women, an O isn't absolutely needed for sex to be enjoyable. He's one of those guys who can't grasp that, and she's fine with it and helping him feel like a man.

I don't feel there's anything wrong with that personally. -shrug-

lindz_sl said:

On another note, I got a twilight wand this weekend to try electrostim. Fun times. Totally need to get something stronger now.

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I just looked this up...I laughed because it reminded me of the pawn stars episode where they get one of those in from like the early 1900's that was supposed to be used as a cure for baldness and other ailments.

Big Phoenix_sl said:

I think it depends. How many times have you sat through an absolutely dumb tv show/movie with your partner or gone shopping with them when you didnt care to? On the otherhand if youre faking to cover up for a lack or performance, then thats a problem.

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I agree that if the faking is done because the sex being experienced is horrible then yeah, you should defiantly bring it up in a considerate way.

Deathwing_sl said:

Instead of dealing with the underlying problems, she's just buried it with another problem.

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No? You realize some women can't or it's insanely difficult for them...right? It's not a problem, it's just a thing.

lindz_sl said:

I think the problem is more that she feels she needs to hide her troubles orgasming rather than share with her husband so he can feel like a rock star in the bedroom. It just doesn't seem like a very satisfying sex life.

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She loves her sex life, and she doesn't do it all the time, only when she feels like he is bothered by the fact that she doesn't have/almost is incapable of having an O. He's well aware of the situation with her and how difficult it is.

From what I understand he's good in the sack and tries every time, after being together for some years (over 10) she can tell the signs of him feeling bad and will pop one off. Mind you, she's had them with him before...she can have them...it's just very rare and takes a lot of work and as far as she can tell, is almost totally random on if and when it'll happen.

Now, she's fine with it being that way, it's all she's ever known. A lot of times she can't even get herself off at times. Of course they've tried many things and even went to see someone over it, she hates making a big deal of it though because she doesn't need one she says to have an awesome time.

However, as you said, males in our culture have a hard time grasping that though. It's an ego thing. We can know something and still worry about it. Sometimes when she pops one off it's real, sometimes now....most of the time she doesn't do either. She does it on those rare occasions to help him because she honestly loves what they have and is fine not having one, but knows how our heads work so sometimes will say she had one. From what I understand she doesn't make a show of it, but if he asks she'll say yes and he feels good, she feels good and feels even better that he feels great and that's what works for them. Just because for some reason that bothers you doesn't mean it's not perfectly fine for them. Frankly I know that me personally, if I could almost ever get my wife off....even if that was normal for her, I'd feel like shit about it sometimes. To save him feeling shitty she will tell him she had one, or a small one as she puts it.

As for it leading to other things to lie about, that's silly. That's like saying if your wife asks you if she looks fat in something and she does but you say no, well you're going to then be a compulsive liar about other things too.

Her orgasm is literally out of her control, no amount of therapy or working at it will fix it, she's fine and comfortable with it but doesn't want it to hurt him at times. There's zero wrong with it if that's what works for them.