Marriage and the Power of Divorce

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Aldarion

Aldarion

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The fact that marriage has become a one-sided contract is a problem with no-fault divorce, not a problem with marriage. Regardless, if you dont get divorced, that part is a non issue.

Marriage is about producing children (evolutionary success), not some kind of mechanism to optimize fun. With the right person, it also has some fun parts as a side benefit.

Someone mentioned "picking the right one". Romantic fairy tale bullshit. You find a compatible women and settle down to the business of raising the next generation.
 
alavaz

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Frenzied Wombat said:
Yawn. You might not get married due to practical reasons, but if you can't list one practical benefit of being married, or all those benefits lie with your spouse, then you're just being conned. Glad it's working out for you though, really I am.
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There are many benefits for me, but you want people to list what you (personally) would consider a benefit and I'd rather not play that game with you since it's a trick question anyway. I don't give a shit if you get married or not, you just seem very bitter and jaded. Perhaps if you didn't actually worry about "practical" benefits of everything in life you'd find more joy.
 
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Oblio

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My wife and I had our first date 21 years ago today (15+ years married), we were in college and we saw Good Will Hunting then went to a cafe and talked until 2am. I knew that night she was very special and within a week that she could very well be the right partner for me in life. We have been through a lot together and it has taken effort on both sides to keep the relationship strong.

Marriages are not really 50/50, the healthy ones average out to that, but on a day to day basis it can be 70/30 or 60/40 depending on what outside shit is affecting one of us. When one of us is dealing with some work or family bullshit etc the other one picks up the slack i.e. makes dinner, chores, takes the lead with the kids bedtime routine etc etc. We cover for each other and do our best to not hold grudges about 80/20 runs. We call each other on our bullshit and have a healthy sex life that thankfully tends clear the air on most issues we might have.

I have said this all on here before and I will say it again, marriage is awesome if you have the right partner. If you have the wrong partner I am sure it could very well be hell on earth. I am fortunate that I chose the right person that gives me the benefit of the doubt when I make mistakes and I do the same for her.

Our marriage is not a fairy tale by any stretch, it is a very attainable state of "real life" assuming you are willing to put in the work and have a partner willing to do the same.
 
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Noodleface

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I love my wife but I'm a very independent and prefer solitude. I just can't imagine some dudes that go on and on about how they cant imagine not being with their wives and all the other faggy shit people say. There is a problem in me that has been brewing awhile
 
iannis

iannis

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Frenzied Wombat said:
Yeah, I think the longer you live alone, the harder it gets to modify one's schedule/routine that has been developed over the years to accomodate someone else. Co-habitation and marriage require major compromise and changes to routine, ad when you have the same Freedom Routine that you've repeated for decades, modifying it for someone else becomes hard-- anxiety inducing even.
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Well, the practical idea is that the continual act of compromise itself makes you a more realized, fulfilled, and complete person. That consideration will affect every aspect of your life. So it's hard to point to one single thing and go "there, there it is right there". You've got to point to lots of little things which don't seem much alone but in aggregate constitute a large thing that you can get few other ways.

Sounds like WYMYN propaganda to me. But hey, some dudes go for that.

#420smoekweedeveryday

#foreveralone
 
Oblio

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I think my wife and I could have been happily married to other people, assuming those people prioritize marriage the same way we do. I have a hard time believing in "the one" and tend to think more along the lines of statistical chances of meeting any number of women that could be "right for me."

Just making up stats here as an example, let's just say 1 in every 5,000 women you meet, or rather have the opportunity to meet are compatible with you. What I mean by opportunity to meet is being somewhere at the same place and time she is and having the chance to actually meet her. So yeah, in your lifetime you may have the opportunity to meet 20-30 different people that could be right for you assuming you are semi social and live in or travel to large enough cities. Yes, that was a long winded way of saying there is more than "one" person right for you.
 
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iannis

iannis

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Oblio said:
I think my wife and I could have been happily married to other people, assuming those people prioritize marriage the same way we do. I have a hard time believing in "the one" and tend to think more along the lines of statistical chances of meeting any number of women that could be "right for me."

Just making up stats her as an example, let's just say 1 in every 5,000 women you meet, or rather have the opportunity to meet are compatible with you. What I mean by opportunity to meet is being somewhere at the same place and time she is and having the chance to actually meet her. So yeah, in your lifetime you may have the opportunity to meet 20-30 different people that could be right for you assuming you are semi social and live in or travel to large enough cities. Yes, that was a long winded way of saying there is more than "one" person right for you.
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The entire idea of soulmates is adolescent and detrimental to the daily lived experience of life. I don't mean that in an insulting way, it IS an adolescent idea. Adolescents have a burgeoning but remarkably incomplete view of both things and ideas.

If you see it in a RomCom the odds are 100% that it's complete unrealistic bullshit. Hence it existing in a RomCom Fantasy.
 
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Oblio

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iannis said:
The entire idea of soulmates is adolescent and detrimental to the daily lived experience of life. I don't mean that in an insulting way, it IS an adolescent idea. Adolescents have a burgeoning but remarkably incomplete view of both things and ideas.

If you see it in a RomCom the odds are 100% that it's complete unrealistic bullshit. Hence it existing in a RomCom Fantasy.
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I have told people what I said above a few times and the looks I have gotten from some women have been hilarious, because it is not very romantic. I do have one really good friend from college (female) that I gave that whole schpeel(sp?) to after she broke up with what she thought was "the one" and she thanks me for that point of view to this day. She is married to a great guy and as far as I can tell they have a solid relationship.
 
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Hoss

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Frenzied Wombat said:
I've asked countless men what the practical reason for getting married today is, since you can bang all you want and American women are next to fucking useless and mostly emotional children. No guy can give me any good, practical reason. Not one.
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1. I call bullshit on "You can bang all you want". I'm sure there's a subset of the population for who that's true, but it's far from universal. I definitely get more sex now than before. Plus, it was a lot of fucking work to get into a fresh set of panties.

2. Saving money. Seriously an ex wife may be pretty expensive, but a wife is way cheaper than a girlfriend. Also, with a wife I don't goto strip clubs nearly as much which leaves me more money for my gun collection.

3. She can't be forced to testify against you. You may laugh but this one is an important difference between a wife and a live in girlfriend.

4. Along the same lines as 3, having someone to bounce ideas off and help with your plans.

5. A woman's nesting instinct makes your home better even if it is a pain in the ass. Because of my wife I have my awesome deck and carport now, among many other things.

6. Everyone will have a skillset they bring with them that I can't enumerate here. For instance my wife is a saver. She's basically doing most of the heavy lifting for our retirement savings.


And hey kaine, I was 36 when I got married.

Noodleface said:
She knows how to turn me on and does really kinky shit and even let's me live out some fantasies , but she's never like fucked my dick off or anything. I'm definitely the pounder during the act. We use the vibrator and she gets extremely close but says "it's too intense".
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Girls who are squirters say this. Does she feel like she has to pee? You're in for a hell of a ride if she turns out to be a squirter.
 
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Foler

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As a single male, I'm kinda leaning towards the side of the married guys who say those completely shitting on it are just salty singles. I hope you're right, if not will you pay my divorce settlement in the future lawl. @a_skeleton_03 props dude. Need to hear more testimonies from forum bros who are happily married please, need to restore my faith that this is possible.
 
Frenzied Wombat

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alavaz said:
There are many benefits for me, but you want people to list what you (personally) would consider a benefit and I'd rather not play that game with you since it's a trick question anyway. I don't give a shit if you get married or not, you just seem very bitter and jaded. Perhaps if you didn't actually worry about "practical" benefits of everything in life you'd find more joy.
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OOoooOOhh, a "trick question", good thing you dodged that trap edgelord. Excuse me while I step over to the Star Wars thread to further bathe in my jaded bitterness. Hopefully one day my farts smell as great and happy as yours.
 
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Hoss

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I must have scrolled past whoever was talking about soul mates. I would have ridiculed them too.
 
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alavaz

alavaz

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Frenzied Wombat said:
OOoooOOhh, a "trick question", good thing you dodged that trap edgelord. Excuse me while I step over to the Star Wars thread to further bathe in my jaded bitterness. Hopefully one day my farts smell as great and happy as yours.
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Your jokes are sad and shitty too. You need a wife.
 
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Frenzied Wombat

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Hoss said:
1. I call bullshit on "You can bang all you want". I'm sure there's a subset of the population for who that's true, but it's far from universal. I definitely get more sex now than before. Plus, it was a lot of fucking work to get into a fresh set of panties.

2. Saving money. Seriously an ex wife may be pretty expensive, but a wife is way cheaper than a girlfriend. Also, with a wife I don't goto strip clubs nearly as much which leaves me more money for my gun collection.

3. She can't be forced to testify against you. You may laugh but this one is an important difference between a wife and a live in girlfriend.

4. Along the same lines as 3, having someone to bounce ideas off and help with your plans.

5. A woman's nesting instinct makes your home better even if it is a pain in the ass. Because of my wife I have my awesome deck and carport now, among many other things.

6. Everyone will have a skillset they bring with them that I can't enumerate here. For instance my wife is a saver. She's basically doing most of the heavy lifting for our retirement savings.


And hey kaine, I was 36 when I got married.



Girls who are squirters say this. Does she feel like she has to pee? You're in for a hell of a ride if she turns out to be a squirter.
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1. If you make a good living and aren't a fatty you can get laid all you want, trust me. It's called Tinder and Millenials with daddy issues. I get laid without even having to move from my couch.
2. It's pretty damn rare that any circumstance beats out the earning/spending potential of a single male. Not to mention, if she divorces she takes half the shit
3. Don't get married and she won't need to testify against you.. lol
4. Try a male friend, advice is usually more rational.
5. I'll give you this one *assuming* she has this instinct. Most broads don't anymore. Hire an interior decorator, cheaper than a wife
6. OK


Hey guise, do what you want, I'm not trying to sell you on being single. But this thread contains approximately 1690 pages of divorce horror stories, so the "you just need to find the right one", or "you're jaded and bitter" seems kinda weak.
 
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alavaz

alavaz

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I'm so happy I'm not married, and it's for reasons like this which are legion. I only wish American men would go on a marriage strike so we could get some traction against this insanity. I've asked countless men what the practical reason for getting married today is, since you can bang all you want and American women are next to fucking useless and mostly emotional children. No guy can give me any good, practical reason. Not one.
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You started it with your pinnacle of forever alone comment above. Had you said "marriage isn't for me," in a more normal; not reeking of bitterness and desperation way, you probably could've flown under the radar.
 
OU Ariakas

OU Ariakas

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Frenzied Wombat said:
1. If you make a good living and aren't a fatty you can get laid all you want, trust me. It's called Tinder and Millenials with daddy issues. I get laid without even having to move from my couch.
2. It's pretty damn rare that any circumstance beats out the earning/spending potential of a single male. Not to mention, if she divorces she takes half the shit
3. Don't get married and she won't need to testify against you.. lol
4. Try a male friend, advice is usually more rational.
5. I'll give you this one *assuming* she has this instinct. Most broads don't anymore. Hire an interior decorator, cheaper than a wife
6. OK


Hey guise, do what you want, I'm not trying to sell you on being single. But this thread contains approximately 1690 pages of divorce horror stories, so the "you just need to find the right one", or "you're jaded and bitter" seems kinda weak.
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I have tried throughout the general threads to say that a single life, while easier and arguably more 'fun' is ultimately meaningless in both the religious and non-religious views. From a purely non-theistic viewpoint we are here to sire our progeny with desirable mates and see them live long enough to sire their own with more desirable mates. All data available points to marriage being the best and most efficient way of achieving that goal. It has the side effect of giving your life purpose in the face of all adversity. Finally, your progeny take care of you when you are too old and infirm to do it yourself. This is an oft overlooked fact that is now settling in to the every day lives of my parents and older co-workers.

In the end, it is a decision that each on of us has to make. You like being single? Go for it. You want to warn us about how badly we're going to get fucked if our wives choose to leave us? That's fine too. I'll take that chance when I compare to my life with my kids over a single life that now seems to me pretty empty and meaningless.

The crazy fuckers are those guys like Kiroy Kiroy who marry and don't have kids. I know he has explained before why he did it but that just seems like the worst of both worlds to me! No judgment, just opinion.
 
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Hoss

Hoss

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Frenzied Wombat said:
Hey guise, do what you want, I'm not trying to sell you on being single.
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and I'm not trying to sell you either. But you made a claim that no one has ever been able to give you a single practical good reason to get married. Now you can't say that anymore because I gave you 6 even if you only accepted the 2 weakest ones.
 
Khane

Khane

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Namon said:
And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.. at all. Khane, go with god and do god's work. I have nothing but respect because you absolutely know you and have no qualms with who you are. I think this notion that everyone should get married is detrimental. No... no you shouldn't. I personally did because being in a relationship brings a stability that I personally need. Even with the bumps (sex woes included) it's still way better than facing life alone.
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This is far too reasonable for this thread!

Zaara said:
Horny girls don't really have that hang-up. Enough liquor or crazy in them and they'll blurt out whatever comes to mind, and dudes like that. It's a refreshing kind of physical honesty that a lot of women have a hard time with.
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I don't think you can really say it any better than this. I have a very, very strong dislike of "slut shaming" because I like sex, and I really like women who are honest and open about how much they like sex. Everything about your sex life gets better if both people talk about, and actively engage in making it better. But women aren't supposed to do that because if they do they're "crazy sluts". Fuck that. You're ruining sex for everyone, yourself included, if you keep trying to repress female sexuality. Everyone should be fucking... constantly. That's the world I want to live in.

But use condoms because STDs are gross.
 
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