Marriage and the Power of Divorce

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Cutlery

Kill All the White People
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You're absolutely insane if you're the one making money and letting someone else tell you what you're allowed to do with it.
 
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TJT

Mr. Poopybutthole
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You're absolutely insane if you're the one making money and letting someone else tell you what you're allowed to do with it.

I had a coworker like that. I didn't get it. This guy is in his 50's and has been a developer forever. He has a huge interest in the stock market and back in his 20's/30's made a ton of custom tools for it for himself. That aside he made a TON of money. Enough that he never had to work again and just retired when he was like 41. Dicked off for 9 or so years but his wife got super super pissed and almost divorced him for, "not being productive." As he mostly just enjoyed his various hobbies. Dude has a lot of them. Because despite all of this his wife kept working.

So at 51 or 52 he got another IT job as a database administrator just to shut her up. Id be like, "bitch I don't care what you think, you can quit working too you know."
 
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Hoss

Make America's Team Great Again
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Treadmill is fun money when u get to knock that tight ass that resulted from it!

A treadmill is the largest most expensive hanger you can buy. There's no fun with that motherfucker.

I'm balancing the porn star sex alright. I gotta be gentle here. Gentle unlike how I'm gonna slam that puss

Allright, I'm going to let you in on my secret for buying guns. Buy it and hide it. Then bring it out after about a month and when she asks when you got it, say "I've had this for a while". Now, since you only have 2 guitars, you're going to have to go ahead and change that number to 3 right now. Whenever you talk about it, say you want a 4th guitar. If she questions it, remind her of the broken one and say that she's probably not counting that one. Then distract her by talking about how you need to get that one fixed (you know since she reminded you of it). The more you acquire, the easier it will be. Don't put the number down in writing anywhere, especially not in email which she can search.
 
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Nester

Vyemm Raider
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When you remove yourself from the finances, don't be shocked if you find yourself removed from the financial decisions.
If You're not steering the ship, your just along for the ride.
 
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Rude

Potato del Grande
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I'm pretty pissed man lol. She lucked out marrying me, a guy making 125k 5 years out of college
Tell her to pound sand if she denies you wanting to buy something with the fucking money you make. Also you should take over doing the bills.
 
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yeahthatisneathuh

Trakanon Raider
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Dude noodle's wife like years and years in is just figuring out that she should do house work occasionally while not working

the fuck is she doing all day?
 

Noodleface

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She's a stay at home mom. It is very demanding.

So I stopped doing dishes because I've been sick and she's started doing them complaining she can't handle them always being piled up. The dishes her and the kids use all day... the mess I used to come home to every night and handle.

Now I sort of half-ass throw stuff in the dishwasher, but I've been just leaving the majority and everyday they're done. This is a small victory for me.
 
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Khane

Got something right about marriage
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You have a dishwasher and she can't handle doing the dishes?
 
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Quineloe

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My wife does work and I'm not doing the dishes. This Disney Princess Syndrome is a real thing I guess. Why don't you animate the dishes so they can do themselves?
 
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Captain Suave

Caesar si viveret, ad remum dareris.
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It is very demanding.

I stayed at home with my son for a while when my consulting business was slow. It is a special kind of grind, but it's no worse than a full-time job and using that as an excuse not to clean up after herself is #1 bullshit.
 
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Noodleface

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You have a dishwasher and she can't handle doing the dishes?
I don't want to get too into it, but she gets severe eczema breakouts on her hands that are like... pustules... if dish soap gets on her hands mixed with water. So I got her gloves. She hasn't had flare-ups since.

She's been doing them now.
 
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Lenaldo

Golden Knight of the Realm
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Working one of the best pussy for power trade deals in history

I think the mentality that "i make the money, i make the rules" is really shitty for a relationship. I don't see how couples act that way. Now, I have it easy as my wife has a great job and makes great money, but we never treat it as "my" money or "her" money. It's all "our" money. Most men that make all the money fail to see the benefits of having a "stay at home wife" is to their career. Gotta stay late for a big push? no biggie, someone has your kids covered. Need to travel last minute for work? Once again no problem. Kid sick? NP - still going to work. None of this exists when your wife also works - my wife and i are constantly juggling these things while trying to keep our careers going. We have both turned down great opportunities because it wouldn't work for our family.

I think it's a bit ignorant to think that your career success is only a result of your own hard work IF you also have kids. Unless you are a shitbag dad and are going to ignore your children completely, i'd argue that some of your career success is a result of you being able to make small sacrifices knowing your kids are still being taken care of.

The issue is there isn't really one solution to finances in a marriage and an agreed upon approach is the best. If you and your wife can't handle the other buying "fun" stuff from your "main" account, than I think a "fun" account makes sense. It seems "odd" to me, but again I have my own unique world view (both my wife and i are pretty financially conservative so when one wants to buy something "fun" (i just built a 2k computer with our tax return.. for example), the other is very supportive as he/she knows it wasn't some random "whim". Our bills, investments, etc always come first and we discuss all large purchases objectively.
 
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Nester

Vyemm Raider
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She's a stay at home mom. It is very demanding.

So I stopped doing dishes because I've been sick and she's started doing them complaining she can't handle them always being piled up. The dishes her and the kids use all day... the mess I used to come home to every night and handle.

Now I sort of half-ass throw stuff in the dishwasher, but I've been just leaving the majority and everyday they're done. This is a small victory for me.


Stop the passive aggressive stuff and have an honest talk with your wife about what you want out of life and a partner. Set expectations both ways.

No way in fucking hell am I working all day and coming home to a pile of dishes when my Spouse stays home. This is a dealbreaker for me in a healthy relationship. Withhold sex? Dealbreaker.

I would imagine this will be very difficult to retron a 10 year old relationships. This should have been done at the beginning.

A person needs to know what’s important to them in a realationship early as that needs to be a factor in spouse selection. Behavior syngery is vital for a long happy life.


I know I swoop into this thread every few months and spit advice wile riding my unicorn, fret not pals, my comeuppance is just around the corner. My first child is due in June.

Gonna call her Ferrari, cuz that what she cost :)
 
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Hoss

Make America's Team Great Again
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It's weird to see a dude just give up before the child is even born and giver her a stripper name right off the bat.

But then, my family has girls named Hunny Bunny (she's my age) and Spicy Tart (she'd be over 100 if she was still alive). So I guess I've seen worse.
 
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Alex

Still a Music Elitist
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But then, my family has girls named Hunny Bunny (she's my age) and Spicy Tart (she'd be over 100 if she was still alive). So I guess I've seen worse.

You related to the Zappa family or something?
 
  • 2Worf
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Noodleface

A Mod Real Quick
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Stop the passive aggressive stuff and have an honest talk with your wife about what you want out of life and a partner. Set expectations both ways.

No way in fucking hell am I working all day and coming home to a pile of dishes when my Spouse stays home. This is a dealbreaker for me in a healthy relationship. Withhold sex? Dealbreaker.

I would imagine this will be very difficult to retron a 10 year old relationships. This should have been done at the beginning.

A person needs to know what’s important to them in a realationship early as that needs to be a factor in spouse selection. Behavior syngery is vital for a long happy life.


I know I swoop into this thread every few months and spit advice wile riding my unicorn, fret not pals, my comeuppance is just around the corner. My first child is due in June.

Gonna call her Ferrari, cuz that what she cost :)
You guys make very big deals out of small things.
 
  • 1Picard
  • 1Tiresome
Reactions: 1 users

Noodleface

A Mod Real Quick
38,278
15,109
I think the mentality that "i make the money, i make the rules" is really shitty for a relationship. I don't see how couples act that way. Now, I have it easy as my wife has a great job and makes great money, but we never treat it as "my" money or "her" money. It's all "our" money. Most men that make all the money fail to see the benefits of having a "stay at home wife" is to their career. Gotta stay late for a big push? no biggie, someone has your kids covered. Need to travel last minute for work? Once again no problem. Kid sick? NP - still going to work. None of this exists when your wife also works - my wife and i are constantly juggling these things while trying to keep our careers going. We have both turned down great opportunities because it wouldn't work for our family.

I think it's a bit ignorant to think that your career success is only a result of your own hard work IF you also have kids. Unless you are a shitbag dad and are going to ignore your children completely, i'd argue that some of your career success is a result of you being able to make small sacrifices knowing your kids are still being taken care of.

The issue is there isn't really one solution to finances in a marriage and an agreed upon approach is the best. If you and your wife can't handle the other buying "fun" stuff from your "main" account, than I think a "fun" account makes sense. It seems "odd" to me, but again I have my own unique world view (both my wife and i are pretty financially conservative so when one wants to buy something "fun" (i just built a 2k computer with our tax return.. for example), the other is very supportive as he/she knows it wasn't some random "whim". Our bills, investments, etc always come first and we discuss all large purchases objectively.
Fuckin 1%ers man!