Marriage and the Power of Divorce

Khaine is cooler anyways

Jx3_sl said:

Khaine is cooler anyways

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How dare you...

Phazael_sl said:

Plus, the only way someone in Onoes mindset is going to learn is either total browbeating or a complete disaster happening..

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Browbeating is not going to stop him, Onoes is a hero of the forums. He also has his dick snipped I believe so only major concerns of his are the herps or crazies getting involved with his children/work.

Keep up the good work.

Dabamf_sl said:

For the record, I completely agree that turning down married chicks is better for your own feeling of goodness or self worth or whatever. I'm totally on board with anyone arguing that, though I may not fully agree on degree or extent and feel that context is a big moderator. I'm just saying that he's not actually preventing harm by turning down the girl in this circumstance. So saying "you shouldn't do that, its not worth it" is a fine argument. I just take issue with people calling him a piece of shit, because the only one he's possibly harming is himself. She's cheating regardless. He has no agency there.

It's again another story for someone actively pursuing a taken woman/man.

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Enabling bears its own weight. She's cheating regardless, sure, but you do have agency. You don't decide if she cheats. You do decide who she cheats with. You're not exactly a leaf floating in a stream here.

Doing a shitty thing doesn't make you a piece of shit. It is only doing a shitty thing. There's a very narrow window for using social shame to effect someone's behavior, which is really the problem. That window exists but it is exceptionally narrow. Fat shaming, thin shaming, gay shaming, straight shaming, privilege shaming, social justice warrioring -- stupid as all hell. One reason shaming is stupid is becauseit doesn't work. It doesn't degenerate into hateful self righteousness. It starts there.

You can consider the hypocrisy of Christians who sermonize about separating Sin and Sinner and you'd be completely right and proper to do so. However, that failure does not negate the remarkable insight offered through the principle. It rankles. It removes the option for self righteousness. And every last one of us are self righteous sons of bitches.

This actually coulda gone worse for Onoes, and I'm not talking about getting his dick chopped off. He could have gotten away with it for longer. He could have blinded himself to the full effects of the interaction. He very easily could have bro'd out.

Iannis_sl said:

Enabling bears its own weight. She's cheating regardless, sure, but you do have agency. You don't decide if she cheats. You do decide who she cheats with. You're not exactly a leaf floating in a stream here.

Doing a shitty thing doesn't make you a piece of shit. It is only doing a shitty thing. There's a very narrow window for using social shame to effect someone's behavior, which is really the problem. That window exists but it is exceptionally narrow. Fat shaming, thin shaming, gay shaming, straight shaming, privilege shaming, social justice warrioring -- stupid as all hell. One reason shaming is stupid is becauseit doesn't work. It doesn't degenerate into hateful self righteousness. It starts there.

You can consider the hypocrisy of Christians who sermonize about separating Sin and Sinner and you'd be completely right and proper to do so. However, that failure does not negate the remarkable insight offered through the principle. It rankles. It removes the option for self righteousness. And every last one of us are self righteous sons of bitches.

This actually coulda gone worse for Onoes, and I'm not talking about getting his dick chopped off. He could have gotten away with it for longer. He could have blinded himself to the full effects of the interaction. He very easily could have bro'd out.

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Or Queue the crazy bitch filing some sexual harassment report, rape claim, blackmail scam or AIDS she claims she caught at a swimming pool.

Ehhh, I have a habit of doing things that might be very stupid, and then after doing them reflect and go "I probably shouldn't have done that..." and usually that's the end of it.

Take last night for example. I'm driving back home. It's late, I'm tired. I stop in Wickenburg at a gas station and buy a 5 hour energy, some beef jerky, a butterfinger, and a soda. I was fading and really needed all that garbage to system shock myself into finishing the last couple of hours. Well, I go back to driving, and maybe 40 minutes past, at almost 1 a.m., out in the middle of the AZ desert, no cell reception or anything, there is a shitty little car with its hazards on pulled to the side of the road. I slow some and switch lanes, in case anyone is around the car. As I pass, I see someone jumping up and down in front of the car waving their arms. I slow down more, pull over and stop. I'm reversing back towards them in the dark before I think "You're in the middle of nowhere, you're half asleep, you're in a brand new car, and you are basically the equivalent of a 13 year old girl where fighting prowess is concerned. What if this is not on the level, you're fucked."

All of this is probably stuff that should have gone through my head before I reacted. Even then, I could have just put my car back in drive and gone forward again, I still couldn't even see who, or how many people, were outside. But that part of my that didn't want to be rude, or cause problems, or whatever, just insisted it was too late now. I'd rather be murdered and kicked off the side of the road than risk hurting some murder rapists feelings by driving away.

A dude with missing teeth and big beard walked up to the passenger side of the car, I rolled the window down and asked what was up. Long story short, he had a blowout, went to put his spare on, and it was flat as well. He didn't want to leave his car there, because all of his stuff was in it. He wanted to know if I would go back until I got cell signal, and could get a tow truck or something out here, or maybe the police would fix his tire or something. He was an older guy and didn't really seem to know what to do, and as I'm a big nerd, neither did I really. I wasn't thrilled with the prospect, but then I went "Well wait, why don't I just take your spare back and air it up at a gas station or something?", and he was on board if that wasn't too much trouble. I thought it sucked, but what are you going to do.

When I went to put his spare in my trunk I had an idea. I looked at my spare, it was almost the exact same, well, other than mine being new. I pulled out my spare and said "Ohh, better idea, we can just trade spares." He didn't want too, because he didn't want to take my nice spare, but I told him I would be a lot happier fixing his spare, or even replacing it, than I would trying to stay awake for a couple more hours or whatever time it took to figure this all out. He thanked me a bunch, shook my hand, and I made sure the tire actually fit on his car. As soon as he got it on, before he put the nuts on or anything, I was like "Hooray! Ok man, good luck!", shook his hand again and told him no problem as he thanked me, and went back to my car, headed home.

Now, that could have gone south in a bunch of ways. I understand that. I'm lucky it was a real thing, and not some terrible scam shit, or whatever. Not only that, but I could have gotten a flat 10 miles down the road from him and now had no spare. I understand that. Because it all worked out fine, I didn't reflect on it too much, and yeah, probably didn't learn much as far as changing my behaviors. So, I understand what you guys are saying about me doing dumb things, and wanting to be straight with me (as harsh as that can be sometimes Khane ), but as long as people aren't being dicks for the sake of being dicks, it doesn't bother me. I like these boards, I lurked here for a decade before finally actually getting an account with posting rights due to the move (Fuck you donations, I was poor, and I won!), and I still check them more than any other site per day. I like most of the people, and enjoy telling my stories and the attention, I know thats not always going to be "Way to go man, high five!", especially if I'm being honest about everything.

I'll keep being me, and you guys can all keep being you, no worries. Thanks for all the white knights who jumped up to defend my honor however. I would post tits as payment, but that last NSFW ban ruined it

You did the right thing. Despite what the media makes it sound like every motherfucker out there wants to kill, rape then eat you, most people are exactly people and when in need pray someone will help.
Sure he could have been a murderer or something even though it isn't likely, but as likely if you had kept going a well timed giant Dildo could have jumped out down the road causing you to die in a fiery crash.

Personally I am glad you got your dick wet, it makes up for the bad karma you had over the car shit. I'm just hoping it doesn't come back to bite you in the ass, or dick or whatever.

Often when I do that sort of thing the stranger is the one that doesn't trust ME. I think I look like a crack addict IRL or something.

Well, actually, come to think of it it's blacks who don't trust me. They're really very guarded even when you lead with, "Looks like a problem. Need some help?"

When I stop to help out a white person it basically goes just like yours. Fuck yeah I need some help.

You gotta be careful with homeless dudes though. It's not that they'll try to rob you, they'll just try to steal from you.

Phazael_sl said:

Mensay all sorts of shit to everyone, including themselves, to justify all manner of dickish behavior. This thread is full of testimonials to that fact.

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Just sayin.

Phazael_sl said:

Show me a man around here who would email bomb a chick the way Onoes got spammed (other than Aanima who barely qualifies as a man) and I will concede the point.

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I might now that I'm off my meds. Fortunately I don't meet enough new people to embarrass myself in that particular way.

Onoes_sl said:

I like sex so much more than anything else in life, it's hard to choose paths that lead away from it when the negatives seem so far away and obscure.

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one of the first principles of ethics is that it's unethical to use people as a means to an end. people ARE the end. in your life, sex is the end and people are just means to get sex. myself and a few others have said it already but yeah, you didn't take the vows with conference chick so the immorality of cheating isn't on you, it's on her. however, you give yourself permission to do all kinds of immoral and unethical things just because your not treating people as ends in and of themselves. I would suggest start looking at how to adjust that in your life and things will start going differently for you. the tire story is an example of this.