Marriage and the Power of Divorce

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lindz

lindz

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Tenks_sl said:
Bros I've been married for two weeks now. I do have a question. My wife got into very good shape leading up to the marriage. Now that it is over she's kind of taking a break and hasn't gone to the gym since. Is there a good way of bringing up I prefer her toned form and she should maintain it since that is easier than putting weight on and trying to shed it back off? She is pretty savvy when it comes to me trying to push her towards working out and I fear a head-on engagement on the subject. I'm thinking the best course would be to just invite her to go to the gym with me.
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You are spot on imo. Tell her it is a hobby you would like to do together, that you get more enjoyment out of going when she goes with and you can have that in common. She'll likely understand what you're getting at, but whatever, it becomes something you enjoy doing together.
 
Joeboo

Joeboo

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Olebass_sl said:
The lady I live with the past 18 years stopped having sex about 8 years ago completely. I however still want sex and it is a constant tension in my home. I am 42 she is 52 and she has some medical problems, mostly with her spine.
The dilemma I always face is and especially the past 4 years , she has no family , very few friends, no job, no income and not a penny to her name.
She wasn't always like that but after she got very ill in 2007 she hasn't worked much at all.

She does however cook dinner every night, wash my clothes, keep the house clean, and we rarely if ever fight. She constantly tells me if I want sex to just go find someone and sleep with them. We are not legally married.
My side is , I am still very sexually interested in women, I pay all the bills and I feel like it'd be damn near impossible to find any woman as long as she is in the house. I also know how hard it is to find someone who does all the things she does outside of no sex and not be totally batshit crazy.
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I know it's hard to even fathom change after that long together, but man, you're only 42, you have a lot of years to live, how do you feel about never having sex again? You're basically living with your mother at this point. Your partner is giving you the equivalent of what a hired maid would give you, romantically. Time to move on(as shitty as that sounds, considering her health problems). But once again, life is too short to be unhappy.
 
Cad

Cad

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Tenks_sl said:
Bros I've been married for two weeks now. I do have a question. My wife got into very good shape leading up to the marriage. Now that it is over she's kind of taking a break and hasn't gone to the gym since. Is there a good way of bringing up I prefer her toned form and she should maintain it since that is easier than putting weight on and trying to shed it back off? She is pretty savvy when it comes to me trying to push her towards working out and I fear a head-on engagement on the subject. I'm thinking the best course would be to just invite her to go to the gym with me.
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Open communication will be the key to the relationship. You need to tell her, look, I prefer this. Do it. Its up to her if she gives a shit about what you want or not. But her reaction to you wanting something like that will tell you a lot about where you're headed.
 
T

Tenks

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Noodleface_sl said:
Tenks I wish I could go back to the 2nd week marriage problems.. I wish..

Welcome to the club.
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We've lived together over 2 years. The marriage was really just a formality.

The main issue is I work out at my company gym and generally do it over lunch. I've gotten her a spousal badge to attend the gym with me and I plan on going at least once a week on the weekend with her.
 
Noodleface

Noodleface

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Tenks_sl said:
We've lived together over 2 years. The marriage was really just a formality.
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Same with me but I lived with her for 5 years. It was a formality, me dropping stacks of cash, going on a 2 week vacation, and her changing her name. That was it.
 
Khane

Khane

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Seems like it might be a little too early to initiate that conversation. It's only 2 weeks, has she already put on noticeable weight? Obviously it's smart to try to be pre-emptive but it's almost kind of a "pick your battles" situation. I know how annoyed I would be if I took a 2 week break from something and my woman was already on my back about it.
 
T

Tenks

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Khane_sl said:
Seems like it might be a little too early to initiate that conversation. It's only 2 weeks, has she already put on noticeable weight? Obviously it's smart to try to be pre-emptive but it's almost kind of a "pick your battles" situation. I know how annoyed I would be if I took a 2 week break from something and my woman was already on my back about it.
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She hasn't put on any weight. But she really enjoyed working out since she talked to me about it all the time and I just want to make sure she keeps it up.
 
Cad

Cad

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Tenks_sl said:
She hasn't put on any weight. But she really enjoyed working out since she talked to me about it all the time and I just want to make sure she keeps it up.
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Why not just say that?
 
Cad

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Tenks_sl said:
Because when a male says "You really enjoyed working out you should keep it up" females hear that as "Hey fatso go lose weight you tub."
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So? If they can't hear what you're actually saying and instead just hear what they want to, it's their insecurity talking. Need to get over that pronto
 
Deathwing

Deathwing

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It takes a little while, but any reasonable person should get over it eventually. I can now ask my wife if she's going to the gym with impunity.
 
T

Tenks

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Cad_sl said:
So? If they can't hear what you're actually saying and instead just hear what they want to, it's their insecurity talking. Need to get over that pronto
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Insecure females? Say it aint so ...

I've tried breeching the subject before with poor results. This whole "Be up front and just talk" sounds good and all -- and I gave it a go about 9 months ago -- but it doesn't work out that way. Maybe if I was married to a dude trying to discuss things in a rational and logical fashion would work out better. Anyone wanna be gay with me?
 
Cad

Cad

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Why'd you marry her if you can't be up front and talk about things?

Be a man, grow some balls. Treat her fairly but directly. Be there for her on her issues too, I'm not saying be an asshole. But she's not a princess, she doesn't deserve some ultimate deference and kid-glove handling 24/7.
 
Xarpolis

Xarpolis

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What none of you realize is that Lindz is actually a dude and is catfishing you all. "Love me! You know you want to..."
 
Noodleface

Noodleface

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Should I tell my wife to go to the gym because I won't pound that ass unless it's TIGHT, TIGHT, TIGHT!

?
 
Vitality

Vitality

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I just use reverse psychology and tell her to stop going to the gym because I want that booty to get HUUUUGE.
 
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