Unfortunately these major life changes are very difficult to traverse for a lot of people. Retirement, one spouse losing a ton of weight, kids leave, etc. I think a lot of this is just a lack of traditional large families and communities. The other half is probably modern culture and social media one-upsmanship that just drives people insane.
That one short video of the family that has like 38 kids and grandkids thats floating around - Barely anyone that comments on it thinks its a good thing. I wouldnt have wanted it in my early 30's and before, but now I'd love to have a family that size. It's such bullshit that we're socially manipulated into not wanting kids up until the point we see with our own eyes what we're missing, or our bodies want it. You couldnt have convinced me a short 5 years ago to have just one kid and now I'd be extremely happy to have at minimum, one.
tina fey -ish but a tad skinnier
she has always worked. think she took about 4-5 years off then they had a live in nanny till the kids were like 8-10. he made at least double her salary, think combined they were in the $250-300k range while living in the sticks. he got replaced by dei and she bumped out by glut of more educated people and both incomes dropped a lot. she got a new job that she gave up to spend 2 years and like $30k to further her education which, when asked was told wouldn't increase she earning in anyway.
It's the college exposure and affirmation. Once they realize they can get that high of attention and recognition from university they go nuts. It's same phenomenon as welfare being ersatz provider husband.
Probably, but some of those social networks with all the teachers and students are cess pools too.
Primary catalyst is woman going into panic mode because their youth is fading. They go to college to relive that youth. For some that panic becomes chronic and they spin off into a whirlwind of crazy.
Women do not find men they deem below them socioeconomically to be attractive. In most women's minds getting a degree significantly ups their standing.
My best friend's parents split up in their 60's after 40+ years of marriage with a similar story except it was his dad that went crazy. It was a conservative Mormon family. 5 kids, like 20 grandkids. He had been working class his whole life. Worked lots of jobs from construction crews to warehouses to cutting meat. She was a tech in a wafer fab. No college degree for either of them. He was also very active in the church and would spend Saturdays visiting lapsed Mormons and trying to convince them to come back to church. Family is really into camping, hunting, and fishing and they live in the northwest.
I think its' easy for most people to get caught up in life and the day to day grind. You hit a large milestone like your kids moving out or retiring and suddenly you're feeling adrift or like there's a hole that needs filled
I'm not commenting on the relative value of the before or after ideology. I'm just saying it's not normal for someone to do an overnight 180 on everything they have thought and believed all of their life and become a radical in the opposite direction. If he had gone the opposite way and went from being a liberal college professor to a conservative Mormon, that would be pretty crazy as well. My buddy didn't threaten to cut his dad off because he believed in climate change, he did it because that's the only thing he would talk about.
No flaming. Just a boot to the ass to get you back in that Saturday morning van.
Given the age of your kids I am not surprised that you felt you were in a rough patch. Young kids require constant supervision and redirection. It is totally understandable that you and your wife had less patience for each other during that phase. It gets easier in some ways and harder in other ways. Teenagers bring a whole new set of items you two will have to over come and work together on.
It burned that bed to ashes and built a new one. Now lead us like you were destined to.
