Marriage and the Power of Divorce

mkopec · Aug 26, 2024

My wife and I have been together since 1996, married in 2K. 2 adult sons 23 and 20. We hit a rough patch at around the 8 yr mark, but ever since then things have been smooth as silk.

Adebisi · Aug 26, 2024

BrutulTM said:
My best friend's parents split up in their 60's after 40+ years of marriage with a similar story except it was his dad that went crazy. It was a conservative Mormon family. 5 kids, like 20 grandkids. He had been working class his whole life. Worked lots of jobs from construction crews to warehouses to cutting meat. She was a tech in a wafer fab. No college degree for either of them. He was also very active in the church and would spend Saturdays visiting lapsed Mormons and trying to convince them to come back to church. Family is really into camping, hunting, and fishing and they live in the northwest.

Then, seemingly overnight he went from that to an atheist vegan who was doing 100 mile bike rides and a hardcore liberal that never stopped talking about climate change. My buddy finally had to tell him that he couldn't talk to the grandkids if all he was going to do was lecture them about the environment.

This was like 5 years ago. I understand that he has mellowed out a bit to the point he can come to family gatherings without pissing everyone off and he's eating meat again, but still a long way from what he had been like all of his life.

Maybe some people just realize that their life hasn't turned out the way they planned and freak the fuck out.

This is why you gotta get your fucking the strange all out of your system before getting married. Mormons, man.

Kithani · Aug 26, 2024

moonarchia said:
It burned that bed to ashes and built a new one. Now lead us like you were destined to.

Fire it up

BrutulTM · Aug 26, 2024

Adebisi said:
This is why you gotta get your fucking the strange all out of your system before getting married. Mormons, man.

Definitely could have been part of it. He probably got married at 19 and lost his virginity on his wedding night.

Noodleface · Aug 26, 2024

Kithani said:
Fire it up

Are you guys saying the current iteration of the wow guild sucks or something? Whose ass do I gotta kick?

Wife's first day at the new job went well. She's working 1:1 with a 1st grader with autism that's a bit more severe needs than our child. I think she'll be pretty well suited for it.

ToeMissile · Aug 27, 2024

BrutulTM said:
Definitely could have been part of it. He probably got married at 19 and lost his virginity on his wedding night.

Here’s a story:

I grew up Mormon, here is a horrifically hilarious cautionary tale. Friend of a friend was getting married, he and the bride are both virgins, it’s their wedding night. The groom has the room set with lighting, flower pedals, satin sheets, etc. The bride comes out of the bathroom wearing some satin lingerie. The groom picks her up and/or she jumps into his arms and he then decides to toss her in the bed. The sheets are slick, her lingerie is slick so she bounce/slides right off the bed and lands in just the right way to break her hip. Off to the hospital and she’s in a giant leg/hip caste for a good couple months or something.

I can only imagine the sheer terror as well as “you’re ok, right? A little ice and we’re good to go in an hour?”

moonarchia · Aug 27, 2024

Noodleface said:
Are you guys saying the current iteration of the wow guild sucks or something? Whose ass do I gotta kick?

Wife's first day at the new job went well. She's working 1:1 with a 1st grader with autism that's a bit more severe needs than our child. I think she'll be pretty well suited for it.

Daidraco just reclaimed the guild name, but it hasn't really been a thing since you left. You are our once and future raid leader. Slay

Jasker and pull the sword from the stone and all that.

Daidraco · Aug 27, 2024

Noodleface said:
Are you guys saying the current iteration of the wow guild sucks or something? Whose ass do I gotta kick?

Wife's first day at the new job went well. She's working 1:1 with a 1st grader with autism that's a bit more severe needs than our child. I think she'll be pretty well suited for it.

Alk or someone dissolved it completely. It didnt exist from SL's till day before yesterday when I recreated it and put it on an alt.

moonarchia beat me to it by seconds.

Noodleface · Aug 27, 2024

Dang... You are necromancing a cursed object

Hoss · Aug 27, 2024

Noodleface said:
Wife started a new job at the elementary school today, so finally she feels she has a purpose again.

Sounds like my sister, except it was more than a little bit about money. She quit a good job to stay home with her kids. Then they went to school and she went stir crazy until she had the idea to become a teacher. That way she would only be working while they were in school and she could make some money. Started out as a sub but eventually got all of her certificates and went full time. Her kids are adults now but she's still teaching.

Noodleface said:
I wanted to post here to get the initial flaming over.

We're not allowed to flame here. Take it to the litterbox if you're feeling chilly.

Noodleface · Aug 27, 2024

Hoss said:
Sounds like my sister, except it was more than a little bit about money. She quit a good job to stay home with her kids. Then they went to school and she went stir crazy until she had the idea to become a teacher. That way she would only be working while they were in school and she could make some money. Started out as a sub but eventually got all of her certificates and went full time. Her kids are adults now but she's still teaching.

We're not allowed to flame here. Take it to the litterbox if you're feeling chilly.

Yeah my wife worked at USPS and made pretty decent money but obviously not a good career if you have small kids. Pretty much the same. I won't rule out her becoming a teacher one day

Arative · Aug 27, 2024

Noodleface said:
Yeah my wife worked at USPS and made pretty decent money but obviously not a good career if you have small kids. Pretty much the same. I won't rule out her becoming a teacher one day

My wife was a teacher for 20 years, she's currently an aide at our kids school, and is much happier with the work/home balance. As a teacher, she would nights and weekends and generally just be exhausted. If you don't need the money, I wouldn't push becoming a teacher. All the shit isn't worth it.

Noodleface · Aug 27, 2024

Thanks man. That makes sense. Since we are financially secure I'm not pushing anything. It would just be nice for her to find her calling.

Arative · Aug 27, 2024

Noodleface said:
Thanks man. That makes sense. Since we are financially secure I'm not pushing anything. It would just be nice for her to find her calling.

Also depends on what grade she wants to teach. My wife was a kindergarten teacher. Dealing with 5-6 year olds all day get tiring. Most nights she would come home and need a good hour or more to just decompress in silence from all kids talking to her all day. Older grades might be easier. Still have to deal with parents and admin though.

ToeMissile · Aug 27, 2024

Arative said:
Also depends on what grade she wants to teach. My wife was a kindergarten teacher. Dealing with 5-6 year olds all day get tiring. Most nights she would come home and need a good hour or more to just decompress in silence from all kids talking to her all day. Older grades might be easier. Still have to deal with parents and admin though.

All grades have their ups and downs. Subject matters as well if you're doing middle/HS. My wife taught math for around 8 years before moving on to being an Assistant Principal. IIRC 6 of those years were HS. She felt middle school was more taxing because they're old enough to be proper assholes, but also young enough to cry kind of easily. As far as subject goes, math/english are on the higher side of 'off hours' work with all the grading.

Kiki · Aug 27, 2024

Teaching sucks. No one is on your side. You have the kids, the parents, and the admins all coming for you. The admins just take the parents side obviously. You get paid like shit, there is no money in the budget unless you are on the football team. And, right now at least, the kids have such a detriment to their skills due to covid and parents that didn't actually homeschool.

McCheese · Aug 27, 2024

Teach adults. My wife got her degree in education and did a bit of elementary school teaching, but quickly realized it wasn't for her. She switched to teaching adults and has way less stress, makes more money, and deals with less bullshit.

Hoss · Aug 27, 2024

Private schools must be pretty nice too. I remember hearing that teachers often take paycuts to teach in private schools.

Kithani · Aug 27, 2024

Hoss said:
Private schools must be pretty nice too. I remember hearing that teachers often take paycuts to teach in private schools.

I went to private school, most of the teachers weee paid awful (like maybe half) compared to public school. No pension either I don’t think.

The difference is you’re dealing with small numbers of upper middle class kids about half of who are motivated good students and the other half will be entitled rich brats but still class will have 20 kids in it instead of 50. I think our teachers also got free tuition for their own kids which put them on a nice path to college etc.

Arative · Aug 27, 2024

Hoss said:
Private schools must be pretty nice too. I remember hearing that teachers often take paycuts to teach in private schools.

My wife went from public school making 80k a year to private school to be at the same school as our kids making 40k a year. Now she's an aide making $16 a hour.

She was happier teaching at the private school because there was less admin shit to put up with but the parents were worse because they are paying for it

She's really happy with the aide position. She still gets to teach kids but doesn't have to deal with any of the planning or parents or setting up a classroom. If it wasn't for the full tuition break we get for the kids even as her being an aide she probably wouldn't be working though.

Marriage and the Power of Divorce

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