Marriage and the Power of Divorce

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chaos

chaos

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Deathwing_sl said:
Here's the overarching problem in this thread(recently): why do people feel they are owed sex?
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Owed? What are you talking about?

Sex is part of a human relationship. Without that we are just siblings raising kids together. You say "she is doing everything she can" and I don't agree. If I was taking medication that killed my sex drive to this extent, I would be severely unhappy. I would be worried about my relationship. I would recognize that it is absolutely not normal, at least not to us.

I try and be sympathetic to my wife's anxiety shit, but it is hard because it is hard to understand. I tried to take her out for Mother's Day and she had a panic attack at the restaurant because it was a new restaurant and looking at the menu freaked her out. That was the first one she has had in a long time, and it was just absurd. Of course I don't understand it, but I try. I understand what the medication does for her, but I don't think the impact it has had on our relationship is ok.

And I love her, I don't want to leave her, I want my family to be whole. But I am not going to live the rest of my life like this and just suck it up as you say. I may not know a whole lot about how to proceed, but that is for certain. I don't want her to just lay there and let me fuck her, I want her to be concerned that our relationship is disintegrating and we have no physical connection anymore. I want her to give a shit, bro.
 
D

Dabamf_sl

shitlord
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Can we quit arguing with one moron and get back to being more amazed at every post by olebass how he could put up with something like this?

The relationship, and her, seem downright horrible. This isn't even a question or a suggestion. For all that is good in the world, call a lawyer today. Get the ball in motion today. It's not even a matter of "will life be better..." It's basically right and wrong now. You are taking a shit on all the good in the world by accepting this situation. You are also enabling, in a global sense, people who act the way this woman acts. If people didn't put up with that shit, these women would be forced to act differently. Right now you are part of the problem.
 
Xarpolis

Xarpolis

Life's a Dream
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chaos,

Is your wife on Klonopin? Jay Mohr (Actor/Comedian) is on that stuff because he has ridiculous anxiety attacks. To the point where the world is crumbling and he will die. If she isn't on that, maybe you could ask her doctor if it would benefit her.
 
N

Narac01

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We should almost consider changing the thread title to "The Wives Who Are Breaking Your Heart Thread".
 
Deathwing

Deathwing

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chaos_sl said:
Owed? What are you talking about?

Sex is part of a human relationship. Without that we are just siblings raising kids together. You say "she is doing everything she can" and I don't agree. If I was taking medication that killed my sex drive to this extent, I would be severely unhappy. I would be worried about my relationship. I would recognize that it is absolutely not normal, at least not to us.

I try and be sympathetic to my wife's anxiety shit, but it is hard because it is hard to understand. I tried to take her out for Mother's Day and she had a panic attack at the restaurant because it was a new restaurant and looking at the menu freaked her out. That was the first one she has had in a long time, and it was just absurd. Of course I don't understand it, but I try. I understand what the medication does for her, but I don't think the impact it has had on our relationship is ok.

And I love her, I don't want to leave her, I want my family to be whole. But I am not going to live the rest of my life like this and just suck it up as you say. I may not know a whole lot about how to proceed, but that is for certain. I don't want her to just lay there and let me fuck her, I want her to be concerned that our relationship is disintegrating and we have no physical connection anymore. I want her to give a shit, bro.
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A human relationship is what you make it. Sex doesn't have to be required. You can be unhappy with a sexless relationship, most people will. But I'm sure there are happy, sexless couples. I'm just pointing it out as a possibility, something to consider.

I did not say she was doing everything she can. That was a question/assumption to further the discussion. If you don't think she's doing everything she can, that is the part that needs to be fixed first before any talk on the amount of sex.

Maybe try finding a forum that supports people with her problem. If you can get her perspective out of your wife, maybe others would help. Obviously, as this thread has shown, a forum full of gamers is going to provide you largely with one perspective only.

Dabamf_sl said:
Can we quit arguing with one moron and get back to being more amazed at every post by olebass how he could put up with something like this?
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Awww, not even going to inundate me with your college level psych bullshit?
 
Haast

Haast

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chaos_sl said:
I try and be sympathetic to my wife's anxiety shit, but it is hard because it is hard to understand. I tried to take her out for Mother's Day and she had a panic attack at the restaurant because it was a new restaurant and looking at the menu freaked her out. That was the first one she has had in a long time, and it was just absurd. Of course I don't understand it, but I try. I understand what the medication does for her, but I don't think the impact it has had on our relationship is ok.

And I love her, I don't want to leave her, I want my family to be whole. But I am not going to live the rest of my life like this and just suck it up as you say. I may not know a whole lot about how to proceed, but that is for certain. I don't want her to just lay there and let me fuck her, I want her to be concerned that our relationship is disintegrating and we have no physical connection anymore. I want her to give a shit, bro.
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I've personally had difficulties with anxiety attacks in a few situations, and speaking from experience, it is very hard on your partner because they typically have no idea a) how awful the feeling is when you have one and b) why the seemingly mundane situation triggered you. So the partner feels helpless and frustrated trying to deal with it. It often leads to some serious tension.

The good news is, mine were all linked back to various causes I could eventually understand and resolve. Some were simple, like a very stressful situation at work. Others took much more introspection to really drill down and think through the cause(s), then figure out how to fix them. It can be a slow process to figure out the causes, and the fixes can take time.

Has your wife considered discussing things with a therapist? Or do you think she would let you help her work through the problem if you approached her the right way?

Treating anxiety with drugs may help with the symptoms, but it won't fix the actual problems causing the anxiety. Drugs are also a lousy long term solution for the reasons you've already listed and more. However, drugs can be helpful as a "safety net" as you are working through and fixing the underlying causes.
 
Vitality

Vitality

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This thread... got so much harder to read in just a day...

Just jerk it on her back fella's and call it a night.
 
Cad

Cad

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Its pretty silly for us to put value judgments on things in YOUR relationship.

The relevant question you need to ask yourself is: "If this never changes, will I be happy?" If not, then either attempt to change it, or wait for some change thats coming, or get out.

Those are really your options. These things don't get better on their own.
 
Big Phoenix

Big Phoenix

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Julian the Apostate_sl said:
I don't understand women. If my dick was temporarily broke I'd still be up for having my significant other ride my face as much as she'd like to.
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Fucking a exactly. Just because your vagina may not be 100% doesn't mean your mouth isn't.

The crux of this issue is that sex and any type of sexual gratification in a relationship is limited to your partner so if they decide to just stop engaging in sexual activity that's a gigantic problem. Any other activity there are other outlets, but not for sex.
 
Noodleface

Noodleface

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At the end of high school I had to take anxiety meds and basically couldn't go out anywhere. I still wanted to fuck my girlfriend raw every minute.

Can't explain that
 
Khane

Khane

Got something right about marriage
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Bros, let's be honest. If my dick was broken I'd get real sick of pleasuring my woman real fast. My primary concern would be fixing my dick though, whereas for women it seems they are willing to just accept it.
 
Vitality

Vitality

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Tuco_sl said:
Yes. Married life is great for me. No regrets or complaints.
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Great to hear, this thread was bumming me out with it's infinite loop of weirdness.

Jerk it on her back, simple as that.

Now lets talk about throw pillows and shit.
 
Phazael

Phazael

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Khane_sl said:
Bros, let's be honest. If my dick was broken I'd get real sick of pleasuring my woman real fast. My primary concern would be fixing my dick though, whereas for women it seems they are willing to just accept it.
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I would still munch box like a madman, working dick or no. And my sex drive is fairly subdued.

And I am pretty happily married, but I had some really shitty past relationships on the road to where I am now.

And Old Bass, pull the ripcord and get the fuck out of there. Like now. Move out and tell her she has until the lease runs out to get her shit in order. Do NOT be around her at all. This is a toxic situation and she is doing the minimum to milk you for her living expenses while going psycho shit nuts. The only solution is to bail and never look back. Remember, never engage the crazy. Honestly, the moment she said she would kill you I would have gotten the cops involved.
 
Blazin

Blazin

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Vitality_sl said:
Do we have any bros in here with marriages that aren't shitty?
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I was stressed out from work yesterday so wanted to head to the gym, wife says to me "You want a quickie before you go, might help you feel better" pulls her skirt up and bends over. Made me think of this thread on the drive over to the gym, a happy marriage isn't really that hard when your partner wants you to be happy and you want the same for them. It took 10 mins of her time and she asked nothing in return, well accept then wanting night time sex that evening which I freaking hate but made sure she had a double before I passed out.

I find one of the only marital stresses to be wanting to explore, been with my wife since I was a teenager and have never been with anyone else which just causes curiosity that I have to clamp down on myself at times, but as far as my marriage I couldn't imagine it being better. My wife is nothing like the crazy in this thread, but I do wonder do all pussies feel the same?
 
Vitality

Vitality

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That could be trouble bro, gotta know how shitty other stuff is to appreciate the good stuff you have. At least that's how it works for me.

Hopefully this thread gives you that vicarious knowledge of shitty situations.

Honest women are hard to find, I'm at like a 5% rate of aquisition of decent women. Maybe it's me though.

You're at 100%, don't fuck it up.
 
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