Tarrant
<Prior Amod>
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Marriage and the Power of Divorce
- Thread starter Grumpus
- Start date
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Noodleface
A Mod Real Quick
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Here's a mild rant but not really. Just a bottom text situation.
Maybe I mentioned it here but my wife and I were unable to have a 3rd kid. We even did several rounds of IVF.. a couple took but were miscarried shortly after. It destroyed my wife emotionally. I was a very strong supportive figure, but after awhile we had the talk and both agreed for her sanity (and for our finances... Seriously $20k per round) we would just be happy we had the two boys and start moving on.
We spent a long time donating everything baby related while holding onto a few mementos. Felt good to clear out the house. We started travelling too and doing big adventures with the boys. Things have been great not worrying about any of that. I'm happy with the two kids. She still wanted 3, but she realized this is the hand we were dealt.
Anyways we've been having sex a lot more. She's always been hesitant for me to get the snip, and I am positive in the back of her mind there's still that option open.. the mistake baby. So im just blasting on her everytime.
The other night she mentioned maybe I should start cumming inside her "it's not like we'll have a kid." My big thing, and what I told her, is I don't want to see her get pregnant, get her hopes up, and get destroyed. I think she's hoping for a miracle baby, but she isn't really saying that. Am I being a diva for not wanting to put her through that?
Maybe I mentioned it here but my wife and I were unable to have a 3rd kid. We even did several rounds of IVF.. a couple took but were miscarried shortly after. It destroyed my wife emotionally. I was a very strong supportive figure, but after awhile we had the talk and both agreed for her sanity (and for our finances... Seriously $20k per round) we would just be happy we had the two boys and start moving on.
We spent a long time donating everything baby related while holding onto a few mementos. Felt good to clear out the house. We started travelling too and doing big adventures with the boys. Things have been great not worrying about any of that. I'm happy with the two kids. She still wanted 3, but she realized this is the hand we were dealt.
Anyways we've been having sex a lot more. She's always been hesitant for me to get the snip, and I am positive in the back of her mind there's still that option open.. the mistake baby. So im just blasting on her everytime.
The other night she mentioned maybe I should start cumming inside her "it's not like we'll have a kid." My big thing, and what I told her, is I don't want to see her get pregnant, get her hopes up, and get destroyed. I think she's hoping for a miracle baby, but she isn't really saying that. Am I being a diva for not wanting to put her through that?
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Fogel
Mr. Poopybutthole
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How old is she? It's proven age only increases issues and you guys were already struggling before. Like you said, even if she does get pregnant, what are the odds of it being another miss carriage or the kid ends up majorly autistic etc. Somehow you have to show her the risks far outweigh the potential upside.
Kithani
Blackwing Lair Raider
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Bro if she did multiple rounds of IVF with no full term pregnancy after y’all had two kids naturally then the two kids ARE your miracle babies.
But yeah I mean I do think you’re being a bit of a diva but you know your wife better than us maybe it has a big risk of backfiring on you. Agree with the person who said you might actually be worried it will work too tbh
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Gavinmad
Mr. Poopybutthole
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It's not just her who who gets hurt if she has another miscarriage, you get hurt AND you have to deal with what it does to her too. Stick with your pull out game.
Also you could still end up with a third kid, as long as she still has a functional uterus and ovaries improbable is not impossible. I had a friend who ended up popping out 3 kids after being told by doctors that she'd never successfully conceive and carry to term. I know you wanted it once, do you still want a third kid after having been done with the baby/toddler phase for however many years its been?
Also you could still end up with a third kid, as long as she still has a functional uterus and ovaries improbable is not impossible. I had a friend who ended up popping out 3 kids after being told by doctors that she'd never successfully conceive and carry to term. I know you wanted it once, do you still want a third kid after having been done with the baby/toddler phase for however many years its been?
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Hoss
Make America's Team Great Again
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Were the first 2 kids done with IVF? I think the odds are so low that you don't need to protect her. It sounds like she's going to have a hard time with menopause. When she physically can't have the 3rd baby she wants, she may get depressed and feel like a failure of a woman. I would approach it from the perspective of how do you make that easier on her. Is it better to have her face it now and keep pulling out? Or Give God all the opportunities before it becomes actually impossible. Personally, I'd be coating those ovaries as often as possible.
Does she want 3, or does she want a girl?
Noodleface
A Mod Real Quick
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This is part of it. I wanted 3 kids. I no longer want 3 kids. I fully moved on and I thought she did too. But I'm worried maybe she really hasn't.
If we did have a kid of course I'd love them and still be the same dad I am. But she got wrecked by this whole thing (she had 2 miscarriages before trying IVF then another 3 doing IVF). It took such a mental toll on both of us.
And agree she is an adult, but also we are partners. I'm worried she may be wanting a third kid so much that she's not remembering the pain.
Either way I'm sure will be discussing it more
Noodleface
A Mod Real Quick
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First two were natural. She got pregnant a couple times naturally for the 3rd but kept losing them.
Captain Suave
Caesar si viveret, ad remum dareris.
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This is the most important part of it lurking in the background of whatever your sex solution is. You need to have a direct discussion with her. Backhanded second-guessing your partner never works out in my experience, however well-intentioned.
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Hoss
Make America's Team Great Again
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Shit. So she's not having problems getting pregnant, you just thought the IVF would make it more viable? That's a little different.
BrutulTM
Good, bad, I'm the guy with the gun.
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This may not be popular, but sometimes you just have to let go of trying to control what happens. Maybe nothing happens, which is probably the most likely outcome, maybe you get your miracle baby and she is happy, maybe she miscarries again and gets depressed for a while over it. If it were me I'd just do what she wants and be ready for whatever the outcome is. If you're going through life with the idea that you are going to try to avoid pain, all you do is avoid life and the pain usually comes anyway in some form you didn't expect. You're not smart enough to make the right decision and you're not in control anyway so don't try to be.
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Noodleface
A Mod Real Quick
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Little from column A, little from.column B really. We definitely did it in hopes we'd get more viable pregnancies. We also found out she had PCOS at that time
moonarchia
The Scientific Shitlord
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Get snipped and don't tell her? Then it really would be a miracle baby.
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Fucker
Log Wizard
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Not if she gets the pool cleaned once a week and/or checks the mail twice a day.
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moonarchia
The Scientific Shitlord
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I wonder if Noodlebutt would notice his 3rd son is half jogger or not.
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