Marriage and the Power of Divorce

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Cutlery

Kill All the White People
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My last job I taught people how to drive forklifts and pallet jacks, how to pick, build, wrap pallets, all that jazz. People spent a week with me before they did any real work.

So I got to know people pretty well after spending a week with them. We hired a few hundred people a year, so I've known a lot of people, from all walks of life.

Couple years ago, we get this guy Clarence. He's probably 60, but that's not uncommon. Things were real rough in the hiring market after covid, sometimes we'd get some old guys in there, and if they were still in decent enough shape, we'd keep them.

So, Clarence is about the nicest guy you could meet. Polite, calm...not very bright, but he was teachable. I got the sense very early on that Clarence had technology problems....things like cell phones and time clocks and shit confused the fuck outta him. But, that's normal for 60 year old dudes, right?

I liked Clarence. I was rooting for him to make it. He was just a decent dude. He'd been there a couple weeks, and he came in early one day and said "hey man, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I just don't think this job is for me. Too hard on my body." Hey man, you ain't disappointing me, I have a lot of respect for you for trying. This is young man's work, and you came in here and gave it hell for a couple weeks, there's nothing wrong with that. I shook his hand and we gathered up his stuff and I walked him out the door.

I get back in and my boss comes back from running a route with a driver and he goes "hey, did you hear about Clarence?" Yeah, I walked him out a few hours ago. "No no..not that."

What then?

Oh, turns out he was on work release. Oh, okay, that's not a huge deal, we've had guys like that before.

"No no. He was in for murder. "

What?

"Yeah, he put a bag over his wife's head and beat her to death with a fucking hammer in like 1997."

What the fuck. I SHOOK THIS DUDES HAND. HE'S BEEN IN THE SAME ROOM WITH ME FOR A FUCKING WEEK. WHEN THE FUCK WERE YOU PLANNING ON TELLING ME THIS SHIT?!?!

Apparently they don't know how he got past the background check. Motherfucker is still listed on the DOC site because he's still active. Was literally just out so he could get a job. And that's also why he had no idea about technology. Fucker hasn't even seen a cell phone before.

I can laugh about it now, but holy shit was I fucking pissed for awhile.
 
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Palum

what Suineg set it to
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My last job I taught people how to drive forklifts and pallet jacks, how to pick, build, wrap pallets, all that jazz. People spent a week with me before they did any real work.

So I got to know people pretty well after spending a week with them. We hired a few hundred people a year, so I've known a lot of people, from all walks of life.

Couple years ago, we get this guy Clarence. He's probably 60, but that's not uncommon. Things were real rough in the hiring market after covid, sometimes we'd get some old guys in there, and if they were still in decent enough shape, we'd keep them.

So, Clarence is about the nicest guy you could meet. Polite, calm...not very bright, but he was teachable. I got the sense very early on that Clarence had technology problems....things like cell phones and time clocks and shit confused the fuck outta him. But, that's normal for 60 year old dudes, right?

I liked Clarence. I was rooting for him to make it. He was just a decent dude. He'd been there a couple weeks, and he came in early one day and said "hey man, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I just don't think this job is for me. Too hard on my body." Hey man, you ain't disappointing me, I have a lot of respect for you for trying. This is young man's work, and you came in here and gave it hell for a couple weeks, there's nothing wrong with that. I shook his hand and we gathered up his stuff and I walked him out the door.

I get back in and my boss comes back from running a route with a driver and he goes "hey, did you hear about Clarence?" Yeah, I walked him out a few hours ago. "No no..not that."

What then?

Oh, turns out he was on work release. Oh, okay, that's not a huge deal, we've had guys like that before.

"No no. He was in for murder. "

What?

"Yeah, he put a bag over his wife's head and beat her to death with a fucking hammer in like 1997."

What the fuck. I SHOOK THIS DUDES HAND. HE'S BEEN IN THE SAME ROOM WITH ME FOR A FUCKING WEEK. WHEN THE FUCK WERE YOU PLANNING ON TELLING ME THIS SHIT?!?!

Apparently they don't know how he got past the background check. Motherfucker is still listed on the DOC site because he's still active. Was literally just out so he could get a job. And that's also why he had no idea about technology. Fucker hasn't even seen a cell phone before.

I can laugh about it now, but holy shit was I fucking pissed for awhile.
Oh you want a better one?

So guy in coveralls comes into the office. He tells the receptionist he's maintenance, I know all the maintenance guys. I tell him to leave before I call the police. He gets a bit upset and hands me a business card. FBI agent. I tell him to wait here, I go and make some phone calls and verify he's legit. I have him come into my office and chat. He's here to pick up an employee we hired 3 weeks ago.

I ask what he's wanted for, because we just hired him and went through a extensive background check which would include NCIC. He says he's wanted for child abuse and murder, and they suppressed his warrant information hoping he would pop up looking for employment since he skipped town in CA.

So yeah not decades apart just a few weeks... Also another reason why I don't like the FBI. Decided to put my entire office at risk to try and catch a guy (maybe).
 
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Khane

Got something right about marriage
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Sounds like the plot from an episode of CSI: Miami.

Why stakeout the situation and grab the guy in the parking lot or at his apartment with multiple agents. Nah, pretend you're maintenance to try and grab him by yourself on the work site with bunches of civilians around. Surely someone being arrested on suspicion of murder isn't dangerous.