Marriage and the Power of Divorce

Khane

Got something right about marriage
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Well, if Noodle had kids earlier this thread wouldn't have been resurrected!

Silver linings!
 
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Prodigal

Shitlord, Offender of the Universe
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We had our kids at 27, 29, and 36... and I wish I'd had the third one sooner. People don't realize how nice your 40's can be with grown or almost grown children.

Had our two at 27 and 30, and totally agree.

The person you have kids with is the most important decision of your life.

I’ve been trying to hammer this in to my son’s head. His girlfriend is immature, lazy and incredibly disrespectful to her parents - who are subsidizing her so she can have her own apartment. He’s been told by pretty much everyone that he’s wasting time with her. I hope he figures it out before he really fucks up.
 
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Aldarion

Egg Nazi
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Many of us are attracted to exactly the wrong kind of woman, early in life. I don't pretend to understand why, or how that changed. Is it even possible for it to change without getting burned out by crazy chicks first?
 
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Gavinmad

Mr. Poopybutthole
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Many of us are attracted to exactly the wrong kind of woman, early in life. I don't pretend to understand why, or how that changed. Is it even possible for it to change without getting burned out by crazy chicks first?
Yeah when men are older they've perfected the art of deluding themselves into thinking they aren't still attracted to the wrong kind of woman.
 
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Aldarion

Egg Nazi
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I dunno what to tell you man. Obviously hot is still hot, but crazy is fucking gross now. Gross on a level with like finding out she dates black dudes. A level where physical appearance stops mattering and its just ewww.
 
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Gurgeh

Silver Baronet of the Realm
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This is the thing; you could've had kids younger with less money and you'd be saying the exact same things. Humans have been having kids when they lived in caves and hunted/gathered. You (and I, and all of us) could have had a good life making a low wage with a kid because you had the willpower and determination to do whatever it took to provide a life for them. That is all it takes, understanding that your wants and desires will be tempered by your duty to provide.
Society has put a huge burden on people by setting unattainable shit to have before getting kids : having travelled all over the world, having a house, 2 cars, income to pay for college, etc.. Few things have hurt society more than that. So people who think they can attain those goal, will wait until they reach them, and many women will end up having no kids because it's fucking hard to get there by 35.

Reality is that your kids happiness, especialy when small, doesn't depend much on how much money you have, the thresold is rather low : a roof, meals. Then it's a matter of having parents attentions, friends / families around.

And by the time they're teen, now you have more ressources, when it actually matters more.
 
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BrutulTM

Good, bad, I'm the guy with the gun.
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Society has put a huge burden on people by setting unattainable shit to have before getting kids : having travelled all over the world, having a house, 2 cars, income to pay for college, etc.. Few things have hurt society more than that. So people who think they can attain those goal, will wait until they reach them, and many women will end up having no kids because it's fucking hard to get there by 35.

Reality is that your kids happiness, especialy when small, doesn't depend much on how much money you have, the thresold is rather low : a roof, meals. Then it's a matter of having parents attentions, friends / families around.

And by the time they're teen, now you have more ressources, when it actually matters more.
 
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Phazael

Confirmed Beta Shitlord, Fat Bastard
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I think you used to vent here about stuff a lot and people took you more seriously than you intended. There were a solid three months of venting about craft clutter in the house, as I recall.
 
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ronne

Nǐ hǎo, yǒu jīn zi ma?
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Recently 41, recently-ish single after a ~6 year thing that I thought was gonna be my last.

How boned am I in terms of finding a woman within 10 years of my age that isn't a complete wreck and/or has multiple kids already.

Do I just give up and start banging 22 year olds?
 
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Cutlery

Kill All the White People
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Recently 41, recently-ish single after a ~6 year thing that I thought was gonna be my last.

How boned am I in terms of finding a woman within 10 years of my age that isn't a complete wreck and/or has multiple kids already.

Do I just give up and start banging 22 year olds?

It's about when I became single.

It was a great year. If you've got your shit together, it's like shooting fish in a barrel. The tables flip pretty hard in your late 30s and early 40s for men, and you can filter out whomever you want.

That being said, dating sites didn't end up working for me, and my new relationship ended up being organic
 

ronne

Nǐ hǎo, yǒu jīn zi ma?
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It's about when I became single.

It was a great year. If you've got your shit together, it's like shooting fish in a barrel. The tables flip pretty hard in your late 30s and early 40s for men, and you can filter out whomever you want.

That being said, dating sites didn't end up working for me, and my new relationship ended up being organic

Yea I had a brief look at Hinge and ruled it out almost immediately.

Unfortunately that means I have to leave my house and meet people

ewwww
 
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Phazael

Confirmed Beta Shitlord, Fat Bastard
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Yea I had a brief look at Hinge and ruled it out almost immediately.

Unfortunately that means I have to leave my house and meet people

ewwww
If you are content to entertain yourself and rub one out occasionally when bar skanks are not available, then its pretty bleak out there. If you dont want to be alone, you can go bang maid route or go hard in the paint. Bail on any red flags and don't just settle because your lonely.
 

Cad

scientia potentia est
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Our two best friend couples are both remarried and have blended families, and they have BOTH come to us with "he says my kids don't need X Y Z and then spoils his kid" type problems in the last 2 weeks.

I think I'd rather get a younger chick with no kids than try to wife up a single mom. Those blended family problems are somewhat intractable.
 
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Larnix

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Our two best friend couples are both remarried and have blended families, and they have BOTH come to us with "he says my kids don't need X Y Z and then spoils his kid" type problems in the last 2 weeks.

I think I'd rather get a younger chick with no kids than try to wife up a single mom. Those blended family problems are somewhat intractable.
I have a friend that's just like this but he doesn't realize it. He bends over backwards for his 2 boys but complains to the group about what his lady gets for her son. I just listen and sometimes ask if he would do that for his son if the roles were reversed.
 

Captain Suave

Caesar si viveret, ad remum dareris.
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Our two best friend couples are both remarried and have blended families, and they have BOTH come to us with "he says my kids don't need X Y Z and then spoils his kid" type problems in the last 2 weeks.

I think I'd rather get a younger chick with no kids than try to wife up a single mom. Those blended family problems are somewhat intractable.

I've thought about this in passing conversations with my wife about adoption. While I'd love to believe that I'm capable of treating all kids in my family equally, I really don't think I could avoid feeling a baseline bias towards my own biological children. Even if I didn't act on it I'd have to be constantly policing myself, which brings its own set of costs. Tough problem.
 

Koushirou

Log Wizard
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Have to wonder now if I do meet someone someday if he does have kids, what would I do. I’ve never wanted them and probably certainly wouldn’t want to deal with someone else’s. Guessing that’s probably just going to be a deal breaker. Also wonder how much I’m going to be passed up because I don’t want/can’t have kids. Was lucky enough to find someone else who didn’t want them once, but I’m not sure how many guys are okay with that in general.
 
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ronne

Nǐ hǎo, yǒu jīn zi ma?
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Our two best friend couples are both remarried and have blended families, and they have BOTH come to us with "he says my kids don't need X Y Z and then spoils his kid" type problems in the last 2 weeks.

I think I'd rather get a younger chick with no kids than try to wife up a single mom. Those blended family problems are somewhat intractable.

Yea I'm not actually sure I could do it either.

I've thought about it a lot recently and I don't have any kids of my own, so maybe that would make it easier? Assuming I found a single mom that wasn't there because of her own shitty life choices, but even then I'd be worried it'd gnaw at the back of my mind forever that the kid isn't actually mine.