Marriage and the Power of Divorce

iannis

iannis

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I have always looked at it as middle age is somewhere between 30 and 40. Literally halfway to death. You are middle aged. For men closer to 30. For women closer to 40. I mean it starts to get fucking stupid when you're telling yourself that 30 is the new 20 or you keep pusing back "old" as my age+10. I've known people that say/do that and actually MEAN it, and it just makes me sad.

It's ok to be middle aged. You can be a vibrant, healthy, middle aged person. It's even ok to be old.

One of my instructors told us a story one time when we were just dicking around at lunch about how she hated going to funerals. Because every one that she went to, she was closer to being the Matron.

Yep.
 
Xarpolis

Xarpolis

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I'm 32, but my body is falling apart at an alarming rate. I walk around (hobble on a bad day) like I'm 80 years old. It fucking sucks. I'm hoping that my trip to Johns Hopkins gives me some sort of miracle cure. I know that it's unlikely, but maybe they can do better than my previous rheumatologist. Arthritis fucking sucks.
 
S

Silence_sl

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Iannis_sl said:
I have always looked at it as middle age is somewhere between 30 and 40. Literally halfway to death. You are middle aged. For men closer to 30. For women closer to 40. I mean it starts to get fucking stupid when you're telling yourself that 30 is the new 20 or you keep pusing back "old" as my age+10. I've known people that say/do that and actually MEAN it, and it just makes me sad.

It's ok to be middle aged. You can be a vibrant, healthy, middle aged person. It's even ok to be old.

One of my instructors told us a story one time when we were just dicking around at lunch about how she hated going to funerals. Because every one that she went to, she was closer to being the Matron.

Yep.
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I don't know how old you are, but the age thing takes on new meaning when you can see the sunset off in the distance. I didn't give a single thought about getting older until I actually started getting older. I'm not talking about having a mid life crises here, but rather the realization that I'm no longer a spring chicken, and that it's maybe time to appreciate my health while I still have it. I never thought about this when I was 35 or even 38.

Neither am I talking about people living in denial; those who try to escape age via surgery, chemicals, poor wardrobe choices, buying new Corvettes or what have you. "Old" for you may be 20 years away. "Old" for me may be only ten...that tends to color one's thoughts about these things.

Like i said, I'm not having a mid life crises or anything. At this point, I'm still old enough to know better, and young enough not to care. Not denial, but rather being thankful that I won the genetic lotto in that my body isn't going to start turning into horse puckey any time soon.

It's easy to say that isn't doesn't suck to get old when you aren't in danger of getting old.
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BrutulTM

BrutulTM

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I was talking to a friend of mine the other day who is one year younger than me (I just turned 37) and he had fallen off an ATV and broken his collarbone. The doctor told him it would take 6 weeks to heal and he said when he broke it before it had only taken like 3 weeks. The doctor asked how old he was the first time and he told him he was 15. The doctor said "Well, you're not 15 anymore". He said that was kind of a kick in the nuts and it was for me to hear as well since I'm about the same age.

I always think of "middle age" as from about 40-60 but that's not particularly based on anything.
 
iannis

iannis

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Oh, I've been middle aged for a while. It's just never bothered me. Rather, there was one night about 15 years ago in which it bothered me very much. I remember that night fairly well. Something happened in my brain as it contemplated its own mortality and the very personal implications of that fact. I'm not trying to overstate or make the mundane dramatic or anything like that -- it's just that one night, completely sober, I lay in bed trying to get to sleep while my body and brain decided to process a crisis. I do think everyone has those moments in life -- it's the core of what makes Hemmingway worth reading.

It honestly hasn't bothered me since then, except sometimes I make old man noises and laugh at myself. Or worse, I make old man noises and don't notice until someone points them out. And sometimes my butt hurts if I've been sitting in a chair for too long and that's bullshit and I can't quite figure out why.

The only thing that actually does bother me is how much neat shit I'll never live to see. Because I won't live to see a Mars Colony... but a Mars Colony will happen. But that sort of thing is more of an intellectual concern than it is something you feel in your bones.

I dunno, I kinda get it. It's a thing beyond language. It's not like my experience of it is rational. It's even a thing beyond reason. There's plenty of shit that can kill you but there really is only one way to die. And at some point we all gotta go. Tomorrow just matters less than Today.
 
chaos

chaos

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It bothers me that eventually we may achieve immortality, and certainly within my children's or their children's lives we will achieve extended lifespans. And I'm probably going to be a part of one of the last generations without that. That shit is depressing. The concept of infinite time is depressing. I meditate often on the poem Ozymandias and for some reason it comforts me to think about that. But without that I am just scared shitless of death.
 
Julian The Apostate

Julian The Apostate

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Death scares the fuck out of me too. I think I'm going to give up smoking pot because lately when I smoke it's just one big existential crisis for me. Last night I got stoned and just remember thinking about why the hell do I want to have kids since it's just bringing another feeling, thinking, and breathing person into this dead end existence. Pretty fucking depressing. Also think about how at some point I will be completely forgotten and that bugs the shit out of me.
 
Deathwing

Deathwing

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Julian the Apostate_sl said:
Death scares the fuck out of me too. I think I'm going to give up smoking pot because lately when I smoke it's just one big existential crisis for me. Last night I got stoned and just remember thinking about why the hell do I want to have kids since it's just bringing another feeling, thinking, and breathing person into this dead end existence. Pretty fucking depressing. Also think about how at some point I will be completely forgotten and that bugs the shit out of me.
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This paragraphs seems at odds with itself. I'm not going to debate your opinions, I actually agree with some of them, but if you feel this is a "dead end existence", why should death scare you?
 
Noodleface

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Found out some motherfuckers in my family been talking shit behind my back about where I sat them at my wedding (second floor so my ailing and now deceased grandmother could have a seat on the main floor). It's these 3 women, my aunt and her two daughters. Bitches hold a mothafuckin grudge like no ones business, that was like 10 months ago or some shit.
 
Julian The Apostate

Julian The Apostate

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Deathwing_sl said:
This paragraphs seems at odds with itself. I'm not going to debate your opinions, I actually agree with some of them, but if you feel this is a "dead end existence", why should death scare you?
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I don't know that I have a logical answer. Just realizing that there will be a last time that I make love to a beautiful woman, give my nieces and nephews a hug and a kiss, and tell my mom that I love her is scary to me. It certainly has made me appreciate life and try to make the most of it but I did sleep a bit better at night when I believed there was a big party that we all attended for eternity after death.
 
Jx3

Jx3

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Noodleface_sl said:
Found out some motherfuckers in my family been talking shit behind my back about where I sat them at my wedding (second floor so my ailing and now deceased grandmother could have a seat on the main floor). It's these 3 women, my aunt and her two daughters. Bitches hold a mothafuckin grudge like no ones business, that was like 10 months ago or some shit.
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Bitches be mad that an angel didn't fly out of them.
 
chaos

chaos

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Julian the Apostate_sl said:
Death scares the fuck out of me too. I think I'm going to give up smoking pot because lately when I smoke it's just one big existential crisis for me. Last night I got stoned and just remember thinking about why the hell do I want to have kids since it's just bringing another feeling, thinking, and breathing person into this dead end existence. Pretty fucking depressing. Also think about how at some point I will be completely forgotten and that bugs the shit out of me.
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Yeah, that bothers me, but the idea that everyone and everything will be completely forgotten is comforting. I have no idea why.
 
Deathwing

Deathwing

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Julian the Apostate_sl said:
I don't know that I have a logical answer. Just realizing that there will be a last time that I make love to a beautiful woman, give my nieces and nephews a hug and a kiss, and tell my mom that I love her is scary to me. It certainly has made me appreciate life and try to make the most of it but I did sleep a bit better at night when I believed there was a big party that we all attended for eternity after death.
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Doesn't sound much like a dead end existence.
 
BrutulTM

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I have never been a pot smoker, but I have heard other people say that when you reach a certain level of responsibility it kind of takes the fun out of it because all you do is worry about all the shit you have to take care of.

I have started thinking about things that I will probably never do recently, like sky diving. I can't say I ever really wanted to go skydiving, but I always thought about it as something I might do someday. Now I realize that I am not likely to ever be interested enough to actually make it happen. Frankly, if someone landed a plane in my yard and said "want to go skydiving right now for free?" I would probably say no thanks.

Aside from the physical stuff though, I am very happy to be the age I am. I think I am a much smarter and more capable person than I was 20 years ago, or even 10 years ago and I like myself a lot better now. The thing that really scares me is talking to my 89 year old grandmother and hearing her go on about how Obama hates America and wants to destroy it and how everything is going to shit. She is really full of fear and ignorance and it seems fucking horrible to me, even more horrible than watching her taking 5 minutes to walk down her driveway and nearly falling down every time she tries to go somewhere. I feel like I can deal with physical regression, but every time I hear some elderly person going on about stupid shit that no reasonable person would believe I wonder if that is going to happen to me and it feels tragic. You are supposed to acquire perspective and wisdom as you get older and I feel like I am, but then I talk to people in their 70s and 80s who seem as dumb as teenagers and that really bothers me.
 
BrotherWu

BrotherWu

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This thread needs more post-divorce-plowing-crazy-stories, more MILF pictures, and less existential rumination.
 
Nester

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Noodleface_sl said:
Found out some motherfuckers in my family been talking shit behind my back about where I sat them at my wedding (second floor so my ailing and now deceased grandmother could have a seat on the main floor). It's these 3 women, my aunt and her two daughters. Bitches hold a mothafuckin grudge like no ones business, that was like 10 months ago or some shit.
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I am still bitter that my cousin sat my wife and I and at the kids table (teenagers) at his wedding when I was 30. That was 5 years ago, sure I am not talking shit beyond this forum but still.
 
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