Marriage and the Power of Divorce

So you already knew her when you made the thread?

Julian the Apostate_sl said:

Thanks bros. Her taking me to the cleaners or not is yet to be determined. She told me a week ago she isn't going to go after the businesses that I started nine years before we got married(married for 2 year and some change at this point) and we were going to settle this outside of court. Well, last night she told me she was going to see a lawyer. Fuck me. I dont even know what to do. I guess I should meet with a lawyer. Fuck my life.

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Kids?

Julian the Apostate_sl said:

Thanks bros. Her taking me to the cleaners or not is yet to be determined. She told me a week ago she isn't going to go after the businesses that I started nine years before we got married(married for 2 year and some change at this point) and we were going to settle this outside of court. Well, last night she told me she was going to see a lawyer. Fuck me. I dont even know what to do. I guess I should meet with a lawyer. Fuck my life.

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You own your own business and no prenup? You're fucked bro.

Julian the Apostate_sl said:

Thanks bros. Her taking me to the cleaners or not is yet to be determined. She told me a week ago she isn't going to go after the businesses that I started nine years before we got married(married for 2 year and some change at this point) and we were going to settle this outside of court. Well, last night she told me she was going to see a lawyer. Fuck me. I dont even know what to do. I guess I should meet with a lawyer. Fuck my life.

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Lawyer up ASAP. Ask friends, the Internet or whatever, just find a good attorney that has a history of representing men and or business owners/bread winners. Even if your wife isn't out to get you, her friends and attorney will change her mind. It's just how this shit goes. And most state laws are hilariously in favor of the female. My best friend now pays his ex and her new boyfriend 20k a month for the next 5 years. It's complete shit and successful men get completely raped via the legal system.

Almost a month in and still married. Will keep you guys updated.

Her birth control is done, mine remains

How old are you Noodles?

29

Julian the Apostate_sl said:

Thanks bros. Her taking me to the cleaners or not is yet to be determined. She told me a week ago she isn't going to go after the businesses that I started nine years before we got married(married for 2 year and some change at this point) and we were going to settle this outside of court. Well, last night she told me she was going to see a lawyer. Fuck me. I dont even know what to do. I guess I should meet with a lawyer. Fuck my life.

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Do NOT believe anything she says. This shit always starts out the same. She'll say she wants things to be amicable, then she starts talking to her friends/family that paint you out to be the devil and get her all riled up about how much she is "owed". Her mind then starts obsessing over all the perceived transgressions over the years, exaggerated 10X over in a way only a woman can do, and the next thing you know you are the anti-Christ in her eyes. Get a lawyer asap and do everything you can to protect yourself and your assets. Not saying that an amicable divorce is impossible, but the more assets you have the less likely that will be the case. If you have a lot of money, find a transactional attorney asap-- someone with a JD and an MBA/Finance degree. He/she knows how to setup trusts, offshore accounts, etc-- where you can hide funds/assets to decrease the appearance of your overall net worth. It may be too late now if she's already filed, but if not, get with one immediately.

Live together for at least 6 months before you even think about buying a ring.

Frenzied Wombat_sl said:

He/she knows how to setup trusts, offshore accounts, etc-- where you can hide funds/assets to decrease the appearance of your overall net worth. It may be too late now if she's already filed, but if not, get with one immediately.

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I don't see how this is any better or more honorable than the female trying to take the male "to the cleaners". I'm all for lawyering up and getting a fair and/or equitable settlement. But hiding assets is just a straight up shit thing to do. It sucks that he didn't have a pre-nup in the first place, but that was a decision he made. Covering up his own shortsightedness with outright deceit makes him the worse of the two people.

Grumpus_sl said:

We have been dating for 6 months. But we have been friends for 19ish years.

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Still too soon bro. Way too soon. These are modern days. Date for 6 months to a year, live together for another year or two, then consider marriage. There is nothing to be lost by waiting, and a lot to be lost by rushing. Even if you've known someone a long time, I'd say you have to be in a pretty committed relationship for at least 12-18 months before you know them well enough to marry. Regardless, congratulations on finding a good one, they're hard to come by.

Eomer_sl said:

I don't see how this is any better or more honorable than the female trying to take the male "to the cleaners". I'm all for lawyering up and getting a fair and/or equitable settlement. But hiding assets is just a straight up shit thing to do. It sucks that he didn't have a pre-nup in the first place, but that was a decision he made. Covering up his own shortsightedness with outright deceit makes him the worse of the two people.

Still too soon bro. Way too soon. These are modern days. Date for 6 months to a year, live together for another year or two, then consider marriage. There is nothing to be lost by waiting, and a lot to be lost by rushing. Even if you've known someone a long time, I'd say you have to be in a pretty committed relationship for at least 12-18 months before you know them well enough to marry. Regardless, congratulations on finding a good one, they're hard to come by.

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Being "honorable" in this scenario will only get him fucked even harder. It's noble and all, but will guarantee that he gets taken advantage of. This isn't some gentleman's duel, it's a divorce. I totally agree that hiding assets isn't much better than the chick taking the male "to the cleaners", but if it's between me being cleaned out financially or being honorable, I'll take the businesses and money, thanks. Yeah, he should have gotten a pre-nup, but just because he didn't due to pressure, puppy dog eyes, guilt, or ignorance, doesn't mean he should just go "oh well" and play by the rules when his wife certainly won't.

There are of course a lot of other variables I am not in the know about that would influence my suggestion in either direction.. All I know is that he has businesses and assets, which makes him sounds wealthy, or at least a lot wealthier than his wife. If this chick dropped out of med school or sold her business to be his wife and raise his kids, then by all means she deserves half his shit, maybe even more. If she was some random secretary that took early retirement at his expense and has been living the good life on his income, well imho she doesn't deserve more than a token amount no matter what the law says.

Grumpus_sl said:

Unfortunately it's not that easy. We would both rather live together or date longer but her parents are Jehovah's Witnesses. If they even find out we are dating she will be quarantined from me in a way.

We decided that its best that she lives with some friends for 6 month's minimum while we keep seeing each other before we get married. We have to just elope when its time.

I know it doesn't make the most logical sense but its what we have to work with.


Just to clarify, she doesn't want a wedding, she doesn't want Diamonds. I haven't mentioned not having either to her, she made the decisions on her own.

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If I could have my ideal relationship, it would pan out like this one.