Marriage and the Power of Divorce

Not sure the point of the video? Are you saying he's wanted to fuck her the entirety of their friendship? What does that change, exactly? They're dating now...

Frenzied Wombat_sl said:

Yeah, he should have gotten a pre-nup, but just because he didn't due to pressure, puppy dog eyes, guilt, or ignorance, doesn't mean he should just go "oh well" and play by the rules when his wife certainly won't.

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I'm not following you here. Because the wife may try to get what she is legally entitled to and lawyering up, that mean's he's justified in fraudulently hiding assets? How the fuck do those two things equate, exactly?

Frenzied Wombat_sl said:

If she was some random secretary that took early retirement at his expense and has been living the good life on his income, well imho she doesn't deserve more than a token amount no matter what the law says.

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So you agree that one party is acting within the law, and that it somehow justifies the other party in breaking it. Yet the one following the law is the bad person. Brilliant.

Grumpus_sl said:

I know it doesn't make the most logical sense but its what we have to work with.

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Well, sounds like you've made your decision. But there's some fucking massive warning signs going off here. She has to make a break from her family either now to continue dating you, or when you get married/elope. I don't see why you think it should be done at the same time, vs. in a stepped process. You're not a practicing JW, her family is going to ostracize her no matter what happens I would imagine. She's an adult, unless they forcibly kidnap her, they can't "quarantine her in a way".

Alex_sl said:

If I could have my ideal relationship, it would pan out like this one.

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This. I mean fuck Grumpus. Go back and read this very thread that you yourself started, talking about your idiot JW sister and the bad decisions she was making. You're doing the same fucking thing!

Grumpus, six months ago:

Grumpus_sl said:

No break up. The thing that got me thinking about it was last night my grandparents where over. They have had an amazing marriage. True love and all that bull shit. And they were giving my little sister a wedding gift.

My grandma said to me "If you ever get married we will get you a nice wedding gift to"

I had no clue what to say because I have no intention of ever getting married. My little sister is getting married at 19 years old, to a guy that's 20. Making a huge mistake and she is getting praise for it, and presents.

I don't have the heart to tell my grandparents that will most likely be dead soon that marriage is bullshit when if one of them passes the other will likely follow from a broken heart. Yet they are so happy at the thought of me getting married.

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How old is your girlfriend? You said it's your sister's friend right? So she's probably also 19-20. Let's see what you had to say about marrying that young:

Grumpus_sl said:

Neither of them have ever lived on their own. They both work at a dollar store. They have no savings. The have been chaperoned while dating. Never slept together.

When she grows up and realizes she wasted her youth and wants a change she will be able to take this guy to the cleaners and restart her life as she sees fit.When a marriage is started on such stupidity it will end the same way.

Even if she is my sister. Humans are humans and look out for themselves first.

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Jesus christ dude, smarten the fuck up! I'm not trying to talk you out of marriage eventually. Maybe this chick really is The One. But jesus titty fuck, you're going about this all the wrong way and in complete opposition to how you felt 6 months ago. Are you trolling? Please tell me you're trolling.

Thanks for the advice guys. No kids so that's one upside.

WTF Eomer do they put estrogen in the water up there?

Eomer_sl said:

I'm not following you here. Because the wife may try to get what she is legally entitled to and lawyering up, that mean's he's justified in fraudulently hiding assets? How the fuck do those two things equate, exactly?

So you agree that one party is acting within the law, and that it somehow justifies the other party in breaking it. Yet the one following the law is the bad person. Brilliant.

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Your making the assumption that I feel that the "law" in this case is correct from both a moral and judicial aspect. It isn't. It fails to take into account any circumstances or conduct within the marriage. It also very much favors the woman, especially if there are kids involved. Just because the law entitles her to squeeze every last dime out of him does not give her the moral high ground, and him doing his best to prevent that does not make him the bad guy, except in the eyes of the law.

From past reading you seem to be well off and own some form of construction business, which I'm sure you've poured your heart, soul, time and a shitload of money into. Let me paint a scenario for you.. Let's just ignore the fact that you are smarter than this for a second, but do realize that this goes on every day across America. You end up falling for some girl hard. She makes significantly less than you do, you get married, and inevitably her spending and standard of living are elevated due to your income. You spend the next few years building your business to the point where it's growing hand over foot while your wife lives her stress free lifestyle. You then find out that she's not only cheating on you, but treating the new BF to gifts using your money. You confront her and she says she loves him, you suck, and she's filing for divorce. As the law is written, she stands to inherit 50% of all your shit, including the business you slaved over. Fuck me if you aren't going to do everything to prevent that, not only because you were the one that put your blood, sweat, and tears into that business, but the fact that she deserves it despite her blowing some other dude in the backseat of the Mercedez SUV you bought her makes your blood boil.

So yeah, if you equate following the law with being right, morally or otherwise, then you are 100% correct. Personally, I see nothing wrong with the guy in the very real story above doing his best to limit how much money she gets. Him following the law to the letter in this case will be cold comfort when he has to liquidate his business to pay her off, the proceeds of which she'll use to live quite comfortably with her new boyfriend.

Grumpus_sl said:

The parents aren't crazy and they both like me. But the religion they belong to requires them to act a certain way when things go down. They will get over it.

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Just make sure you can handle their religious craziness for the rest of your life including how it will impact what they want to do with your kids. Marriage is a package deal, family comes along to.

Famm_sl said:

WTF Eomer do they put estrogen in the water up there?

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What, because I'm advising someone to not commit fucking fraud I'm a bitch?

Color me honest, I guess.

Frenzied Wombat_sl said:

From past reading you seem to be well off and own some form of construction business, which I'm sure you've poured your heart, soul, time and a shitload of money into. Let me paint a scenario for you.. Let's just ignore the fact that you are smarter than this for a second, but do realize that this goes on every day across America. You end up falling for some girl hard. She makes significantly less than you do, you get married, and inevitably her spending and standard of living are elevated due to your income. You spend the next few years building your business to the point where it's growing hand over foot while your wife lives her stress free lifestyle. You then find out that she's not only cheating on you, but treating the new BF to gifts using your money. You confront her and she says she loves him, you suck, and she's filing for divorce. As the law is written, she stands to inherit 50% of all your shit, including the business you slaved over. Fuck me if you aren't going to do everything to prevent that, not only because you were the one that put your blood, sweat, and tears into that business, but the fact that she deserves it despite her blowing some other dude in the backseat of the Mercedez SUV you bought her makes your blood boil.

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From where I stand now, no, I wouldn't commit fraud for several reasons:

-It's wrong, and illegal, regardless of how unfair the divorce proceedings or law may be.
-I would get caught, if her lawyer and their accountant aren't pants on head retarded. I would then set myself up for a criminal proceeding for fraud.
-It would make the entire thing that much more acrimonious. Instead of a clean break after 6-12 months to work out a settlement, it would destroy my life for years, possibly irrevocably if I wind up in fucking prison because I'm an idiot who took bad advice from the internet.

I'm in the starting stages of the scenario you laid out, with the genuine hope that my girlfriend won't end up sucking some other dude's dick. I've already lent her a chunk of change to straighten out her car issues. But I've got a promissory note for that shit, and you can be damned sure that we'll discuss a pre-nup if we get that far down the road. Frankly it's something I don't know much about at this point, but I'll educate myself when I have to.

If Julian didn't, that sucks, and I feel for him. But he'd just be compounding his mistake by trying to hide assets from the divorce proceedings. He'll get caught, and he'll get fucked that much harder for it.

Eomer_sl said:

From where I stand now, no, I wouldn't commit fraud for several reasons:

-It's wrong, and illegal, regardless of how unfair the divorce proceedings or law may be.
-I would get caught, if her lawyer and their accountant aren't pants on head retarded. I would then set myself up for a criminal proceeding for fraud.
-It would make the entire thing that much more acrimonious. Instead of a clean break after 6-12 months to work out a settlement, it would destroy my life for years, possibly irrevocably if I wind up in fucking prison because I'm an idiot who took bad advice from the internet.

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Fair enough, though I think you underestimate the sheer rage you would feel over having to fork over half your life's work to your soon to be ex that is openly laughing in your face as she gloats over how long she's been fucking this guy behind your back.

Also, I'm not saying he should commit fraud. I specifically recommended he see a lawyer with a finance background. The US has an insane amount of tax loopholes and financial vehicles/instruments tailor made to hide money legally. Also, family court follows an entirely different accounting methodology when considering net worth. For instance, pending litigation against one personally (or one's business) is deducted from your net worth in family court, while it is not in standard accounting practices.. This and many other rules allow you to get creative and legally paint an entirely different financial picture of yourself. Dirty? Yes. Legal? Yes. God Bless America.

Grumpus_sl said:

I understand, my whole family are Jehovah's Witnesses. I am not, farthest thing from it I think. But its the hand I was dealt so I deal with it. I have done okay with mine I can deal with hers.

And Eomer I get it, it sounds fucking retarded but I have thought about it over and over and over. You would just have to know her to get it. Nothing I can type here will convince people. If I was on the other end I would be saying EXACTLY what you are.

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If you are going in eyes wide open and still want to go for it, go for it.

Grumpus_sl said:

I understand, my whole family are Jehovah's Witnesses. I am not, farthest thing from it I think. But its the hand I was dealt so I deal with it. I have done okay with mine I can deal with hers.

And Eomer I get it, it sounds fucking retarded but I have thought about it over and over and over. You would just have to know her to get it. Nothing I can type here will convince people. If I was on the other end I would be saying EXACTLY what you are.

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Alright man, I hope everything works out great in the end. Regardless, make sure you provide all the lurid details and/or post her tits!

Frenzied Wombat_sl said:

This and many other rules allow you to get creative and legally paint an entirely different financial picture of yourself. Dirty? Yes. Legal? Yes. God Bless America.

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Ah, I see more what you're getting at now. In that case, go nuts. I thought you were more talking about doing shit like signing over assets to his brother or whatever. This is why I would make for a poor lawyer or accountant.