Chaos, in all honesty, I think you're over reacting here in the grand scheme of things. You mentioned this yourself that you have to look at it from a different point of view in case you're thinking wrong. Before I say anything else, please let me point out that I think your situation is shitty, and you have to shoulder a lot of responsibility and that sucks and you shouldn't be doing so. But speaking from my own personal experience and "self revelation", here's my opinion based on two sentences written on the internets.
You have to look at it from your wife's point of view. She's gone from an independent hard working woman with a seemingly high amount of self confidence and self worth. Over the course of 5? years she's had health problems and has been relegated to being the servant of 3 children. Her life is not dictated by small children and she can't get in control of that. It takes a certain kind of woman (and there aren't many of them) to be a mother of 3 kids and be able to handle them. Men are wired differently. Something needs to be done? We do it. Woman are very emotional, especially those that are prone to anxiety and depression (I know from personal experience).
They brood, they're moody. Their body is completely different from what it used to be. Your hormones have fluctuated like a fucking rollercoaster from being preggo a bunch of times and breast feeding etc. That shit does not go back to normal I think.
Not only that but she now feels worthless as her job can't even help the household.
So while you're stuck going to work all day, going to school at night, moderating a bunch of children that like to say racist things on Rerolled, to taking care of the kids, and cleaning at night. Your resentment level is building up like a crazy person. You need to handle it right now, but it doesn't make it excusable either from your wife's end. She feels buried in hormones and emotion. She feels worthless. She feels like she'll never be the same. She's essentially lost who she was and hasn't created an identity for herself as a mother.
I don't know how to fix that outside communication. She might get better once the kids go off to school and she has more time to find herself again. If you put yourself in her shoes, maybe you can use that to communicate your frustration so things start working out. If you perhaps try to build her self worth up you might solve your own plight.
I hope this didn't come off sound pompous or anything.
You have to look at it from your wife's point of view. She's gone from an independent hard working woman with a seemingly high amount of self confidence and self worth. Over the course of 5? years she's had health problems and has been relegated to being the servant of 3 children. Her life is not dictated by small children and she can't get in control of that. It takes a certain kind of woman (and there aren't many of them) to be a mother of 3 kids and be able to handle them. Men are wired differently. Something needs to be done? We do it. Woman are very emotional, especially those that are prone to anxiety and depression (I know from personal experience).
They brood, they're moody. Their body is completely different from what it used to be. Your hormones have fluctuated like a fucking rollercoaster from being preggo a bunch of times and breast feeding etc. That shit does not go back to normal I think.
Not only that but she now feels worthless as her job can't even help the household.
So while you're stuck going to work all day, going to school at night, moderating a bunch of children that like to say racist things on Rerolled, to taking care of the kids, and cleaning at night. Your resentment level is building up like a crazy person. You need to handle it right now, but it doesn't make it excusable either from your wife's end. She feels buried in hormones and emotion. She feels worthless. She feels like she'll never be the same. She's essentially lost who she was and hasn't created an identity for herself as a mother.
I don't know how to fix that outside communication. She might get better once the kids go off to school and she has more time to find herself again. If you put yourself in her shoes, maybe you can use that to communicate your frustration so things start working out. If you perhaps try to build her self worth up you might solve your own plight.
I hope this didn't come off sound pompous or anything.
