Marriage and the Power of Divorce

Soygen_sl said:

Wait...what?

Also, lol @ bad size.

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April 01, 1974
When Lt. Colonel Robert L. Stirm landed at Travis Air Force Base in California a year ago, after five-and-a-half years in a North Vietnamese prison camp, it seemed like a POW's dream coming true. Racing across the tarmac, laughing and crying as they ran to embrace him, were his attractive wife Loretta and their four exuberant children. But the happiness was shortlived. Stirm already knew that his wife of 18 years had filed under California's no-fault divorce law, and a few weeks later they parted for good.

Although many POWs have adjusted remarkably in the year since their release by Hanoi, others have seen the dreams that sustained them in prison smashed by home front realities. Returning to their families after too long an absence, they found a world that had gone on without them. Of 566 U.S. prisoners repatriated during last year's POW exchange, the Pentagon confirms that two have committed suicide, a third man has been confined to a mental hospital and about 75 have been divorced from their wives. Unofficial sources, however, place the divorce figure shockingly higher, claiming that many more cases are now in litigation.

For Bob Stirm, much of the past year has been spent fighting the divorce he could not fully accept. He has taken a townhouse near San Francisco, where he lives with his mother-recently divorced herself-and his two older children, 16-year-old Lorrie and 15-year-old Bo. The younger two, Cindy, 11, and Roger, 13, usually visit on weekends.

Assigned by the Air Force to a 10-month training program at nearby Lockheed, Stirm is an avid skier, tanned and trim, with no trace of a prison pallor. But confinement has left its reminders. While imprisoned he lost the enamel on his teeth, so that any hot or cold food gives him pain. Because of this he is never really hungry anymore. Ominously he has been told that former POWs in his age group-Stirm is now 40-are showing signs of bone decomposition as a result of their long deprivation.

Embittered by his wife's action against him, Stirm chose to fight for custody of all his children and resist her demands for her share of the community property. "Loretta got $136,000 in government allotments while I was in Vietnam," he told the court, "and I want a share of it. I haven't shared in any community in six-and-a-half years. I was sitting in that rotten, stinking hole." Loretta, 38, asked for 50% of virtually everything Stirm owned, including half the $9,830 POW allotment granted him by the U.S. government to compensate for time spent in confinement and half his Air Force pension. "All those dreams I had in prison were nothing but dust," Stirm complained angrily. "I've been taken to the cleaners."

Stung by his wife's lawsuit, he countered with evidence that she'd been unfaithful. "Mrs. Stirm was...human," her lawyer admitted. "It was not unusual for POW wives to become emotionally involved with others during the absence of their husbands."

Last month came the judge's decision, and for Stirm it was a galling defeat. His wife was awarded custody of Cindy and Roger, plus the Stirms' $24,000 suburban home and their car. Stirm must pay $300 a month child support. In addition, he was ordered to hand over 40% of whatever pension he will eventually receive. Although the court denied Loretta a share of his POW allotment and refused any alimony claim, it ruled nothing could be done about the $136,000 she'd already received. She was ordered to pay back $1,500 she'd spent traveling with other men, but Stirm was hardly mollified. "I'd like someone-maybe the federal government-to step forward and grant me my constitutional rights," he declared bitterly. "My service was honorable; hers was not."

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Famm_sl said:

A $24k townhouse? Is that like subsidised military housing he was in or just a really shitty part of town?

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Haast_sl said:

Her being up front was the right move, but her frame of mind wasn't proper. If this trip is more important than the relationship, have some class and end the relationship. Don't demean your partner and propose what you assume to be a one-sided open relationship.

No one acted unreasonably, but she was a fool.

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Himeo_sl said:

Did you miss the North Vietnam PoW angle? Article is from April 01, 1974.

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Himeo_sl said:

But confinement has left its reminders. While imprisoned he lost the enamel on his teeth, so that any hot or cold food gives him pain. Because of this he is never really hungry anymore.

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Famm_sl said:

Well, I'm glad you're keeping it relevant.

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Himeo_sl said:

So, seriously, where do you get this nonsense that redpill isn't some "Fedora Neckbeard Men are better than women" shit?

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Famm_sl said:

I'm not 100% sure what you are even asking, but for the most part the only redpill stuff I ascribe to comes from Rollo (Rational Male) and even then there's times I'm not so sure. But he generally comes from a totally non political, non religious stance. The whole point being that women operate, think, behave, rationalize, etc very differently than men. So if you want success with women, short term or long, you have to understand where they are coming from and adjust your behaviors appropriately. At no time do I ever get the impression that this means one gender is inherently superior/inferior, just different. Which I know isn't necessarily the case with a lot of RP blogs and certainly not on reddit or most blog comment sections.

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Soygen_sl said:

Eomer, I'll come visit you while she travels for 3 months.

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Tenks_sl said:

Since Kiirun outed himself as a terrible troll was the void he left really requiring to be filled?

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Leadsalad_sl said:

Kiirun or Kirun?

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Tenks_sl said:

This is a dangerous line to tread. It is more yes & no. I ran a profile where I had pictures of myself without my shirt on. This was back when I was an absolute gym rat and I was in very good shape. Yes I attracted girls but not exactly the kind of girls I was interested in attracting. This, however, could be good for some guys who only want to find these girls. Toooons of strippers. Tons of single moms. Basically the girls were attractive but had absolutely nothing else going for them.

So I switched it up. I deleted that profile and put up one with me just hanging out with friends and otherwise fully clothed. I know how to dress myself so they could obviously see I was in shape but nothing was shown off. I guess in terms of attractiveness possibly I was getting lower on the attractive scale. But I was actually getting girls who had careers and education. I used, for the most part, the same profile text on both of them. I still argue a good profile is a requirement if you're actually looking for a long term relationship. I guess if you're treating OKC/POF/Match more like Tinder it matters far less.

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