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Marriage and the Power of Divorce
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Trump's Staff
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My first daughter is about to be born, first time parents. My wife today after our latest marriage council meeting, calmly said that I'm not what she wants anymore. That she can't trust me anymore. We have been married for 7 years now. But a big chunk of those she spent it overseas studying medicine. So for the first 4 years she was not around and we saw each other every 3 month or so. Once school finished she came back. It was during that 5 years ago that I got emotional close to another person via skype, person was in another country. Wife found out by reading chat logs, the most stupid way ever. And that created a rift, I apologized and cut all relations with the person. That has been the only time I ever done anything improper to her. Up to this date she keeps bringing that up.
The main reason she says is that she and my family doesn't get along. Some members have said shitty things, have refused to greet her in public. That was my brother and his ex gf, really not a family member anymore, but since they have a daughter together she is still in the picture. I am a very nice guy, the kind of guy that tries to make everyone happy, and she says that it breaks her heart seeing how I try to make everyone happy.
She seems very settled on walking away, she is 8 month pregnant, I asked her to let me be there for my daughter, to raise her, to be together but civil towards each other, so we can raise the girl. Am I dreaming that up, does it ever work, can u have a marriage like that. Or just wait for daughter to be born and just divorce after we sell our apartment? I have been threaten with divorce so often, that i don t believe her.
Every time she mentions divorce, it is me who calms her down, but I'm also done mentally with that, I don't have the will to fight for our marriage and sometimes I just want to " tell her, look you want a divorce, that is fine, go ahead."
The main reason she says is that she and my family doesn't get along. Some members have said shitty things, have refused to greet her in public. That was my brother and his ex gf, really not a family member anymore, but since they have a daughter together she is still in the picture. I am a very nice guy, the kind of guy that tries to make everyone happy, and she says that it breaks her heart seeing how I try to make everyone happy.
She seems very settled on walking away, she is 8 month pregnant, I asked her to let me be there for my daughter, to raise her, to be together but civil towards each other, so we can raise the girl. Am I dreaming that up, does it ever work, can u have a marriage like that. Or just wait for daughter to be born and just divorce after we sell our apartment? I have been threaten with divorce so often, that i don t believe her.
Every time she mentions divorce, it is me who calms her down, but I'm also done mentally with that, I don't have the will to fight for our marriage and sometimes I just want to " tell her, look you want a divorce, that is fine, go ahead."
Big Phoenix
Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
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Why exactly is your family full of douche bags? Did your wife piss in their cheerios or something?
Also get a fucking DNA test for the love of god. The fact the she stayed with you after you did what you did and is having a change of heart a month before the pregnancy is giant red flag.
Also get a fucking DNA test for the love of god. The fact the she stayed with you after you did what you did and is having a change of heart a month before the pregnancy is giant red flag.
Famm
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Well if you divorce you can actually be happy, self fulfilled, living a life. If you convince her to stay in this loveless marriage you will both be miserable and possibly to the point of arguments and shit. Most people say don't put your kid through that shit its better to split.
On the other hand, as a father you will have a much harder time fully bonding with your daughter. You're going to miss out on at least half, probably much more, of the infant/baby/toddler stuff. Then all through her life you will be splitting time with mommy's new boyfriend/boyfriends/husband/husbands. That's a tough pill to swallow too. So you can choose your happiness at the expense of seeing your child every day of her life as she grows up. Or you can choose to be involved in her life to the fullest extent possible but be living in personal misery otherwise.
No idea if you have other kids, you said firstdaughter, but I assumed that meant first child.
On the other hand, as a father you will have a much harder time fully bonding with your daughter. You're going to miss out on at least half, probably much more, of the infant/baby/toddler stuff. Then all through her life you will be splitting time with mommy's new boyfriend/boyfriends/husband/husbands. That's a tough pill to swallow too. So you can choose your happiness at the expense of seeing your child every day of her life as she grows up. Or you can choose to be involved in her life to the fullest extent possible but be living in personal misery otherwise.
No idea if you have other kids, you said firstdaughter, but I assumed that meant first child.
Yeah I tend to agree. Woman at that stage generally are nesting and getting ready for the baby not making life changing decisions and destroying the home. It is entirely possible that she stewed on your "emotional cheating" you did and may have done some of her own.
Now if the kid is yours and you want to try and salvage stuff try and get her to agree to counseling and go from there. Not an easy thing when someone is "done" with things but you can always try.
Now if the kid is yours and you want to try and salvage stuff try and get her to agree to counseling and go from there. Not an easy thing when someone is "done" with things but you can always try.
Famm
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The thing about her "threatening" divorce regularly says to me that the relationship is already ruined and she's only going to continue to make your life hell as long as you are together. Of course she might double her efforts against you after the divorce too. Its a fun situation! Ah, love.
Gavinmad
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Demanding a paternity test is a good way to burn that bridge forever, but it really seems prudent. Your marriage already has a history of unfaithfulness, and her springing this 'You arent what I want anymore' when she is 8 months pregnant would make me think it wasn't my child.
Famm
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Yeah, no matter how fucked up a relationship is you don't hear of even the craziest bitches jumping ship at that late in the term. Even if it was some other dude's, most women would probably just keep living the lie for a while and let you help pay the bills to get started with the newborn. If she moves straight in with some other guy then I think the answer becomes more clear too.
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The kid is mine I have no doubts. No my family is not made up of douchebags, just normal people who make mistakes and then apologize for them, my brother ex is a douchebag. My mom is goes to where she is not called, sorry I can't translate that right, butts in where it doesn't belong.
Gavinmad
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