Kirun
Buzzfeed Editor
- 19,240
- 15,629
Marriage and the Power of Divorce
- Thread starter Grumpus
- Start date
-
Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!
Go here and give us your nominations!Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!
Gavinmad
Mr. Poopybutthole
- 43,759
- 52,339
Well at this point you should fight tooth and nail to keep your awful marriage intact, because the minute you get divorced your life will effectively be over. Unless you can afford an amazing divorce attorney, you will be in financial servitude for years thanks to her student loans and child support.
Honestly, your absolute best hope for a decent future is that she was cheating and the child isn't yours. That's the only way you stand any chance of getting out of your trainwreck of a marriage with any shot at a decent life afterwards.
Khane
Got something right about marriage
- 20,346
- 14,012
Xequecal
Trump's Staff
- 11,559
- -2,388
Enjoy your lifetime of debt bondage. Never, ever, ever put your name on someone else's school loans for any reason. They cannot be discharged in any way and the creditors aren't obligated to split the debt burden between you and will come after whoever has the ability to pay. Once you go delinquent they can jack the interest rate up to like 20% and for $250k med school loans that means you never pay them. They can garnish your wages and even take your Social Security.
Divorce court won't take that liability into either. Of course she's walking, she'll get alimony + child support and get to dump the entire loan burden on you. If you can't pay the child support after the creditor garnishes wages you even get to go to debtor's prison
Noodleface
A Mod Real Quick
- 38,278
- 15,111
I was thinking the same thing. Usually I rub them out when she's not home, or when I shower or something. Just thinking of yelling "Honey, one minute, I'm rubbing out some knuckle children to the latest Alexis Texas Video IN THE LIVING ROOM"
Lejina
(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻
- 4,675
- 12,198
TheBeagle
JunkiesNetwork Donor
- 8,750
- 30,394
This is quite literally the best thing I've read on the internet in a decade. It's sublime. Bravo, you foreign fucking bastard.
I've learned that anything a woman says a month before and after a pregnancy is not to be taken seriously. They are all delusional.
Tarrant
<Prior Amod>
- 15,801
- 9,212
Oldbased
> Than U
- 28,436
- 67,414
Palum
what Suineg set it to
- 26,560
- 41,379
This isn't quite accurate. Assuming these are federal loans (from the situation I'm guessing Grad Plus loans? Doesn't sound old enough to be HEAL loans), we can fairly safely assume they are not in his name, unless he did somethingextrastupid to attach his name if she had derogatory credit. Spousal consolidations did exist for a time, but they are very rare overall, so I doubt that here. More likely he is just paying on them as head of household.
What occurs is this: with 270 days delinquency, you go into default and the loan either is purchased by the Guarantor for collections (GA/FFELP loans) or transferred to FSA collections (ED/Direct Loans). The entire balance is due in full, if you do not pay it off in a timely (read: short) fashion (depends on GA/ED), you will be assessed between 16-24% penalties (again, depends on GA/ED). At this point, collections agencies can, after a period,administrativelygarnish your wages (15% disposable)ifyou do not address it voluntarily. This garnishment supersedes any others except for child support and can be an additional attachment up to 25% of total disposable. GAs and ED will also send your name to the IRS to offsetanyfederal money coming to you. Tax offsets will be 100% of any refund/returns but this can also be a garnishment of SSI/SSDI/etc. if you decide to retire into default. You cannot get rid of these loans in bankruptcy except inextremelynarrow circumstances almost always involving cases where the judge administratively enforces a discharge for a valid reason you could have gotten them forgiven anyway (school closure, provable fraud, etc.). There are ways out of default (best option being rehabilitation) however no post-default option is better than not going into default.
Here's the 'good' news though: you don't have to enter default (of course) and you DO want to consolidate and get on an affordable payment plan. There are plenty of income based repayment plans available. The IBR and Pay as You Earn plans offer loan forgiveness after enough years of repayment. Keep in mind with those astronomical doctoral loans, you will face averysignificant tax burden on the forgiven principal, so much so it may be wise to plan for this several years in advance (having a sudden 'income' of 200K+ is quite a challenge).
As far as divorce, any good lawyer should (in theory) at worst have you paying the payments, which would be based at that time on her income since you would no longer be in the same household. I really have no basis for this other than never hearing of any case where it was not just part of alimony in a strict $$ sense versus an absolute legal commitment to the debt itself.
All of this goes out the window if you cosigned private loans. You are definitely screwed then. Best of luck and any more questions, ask. Maybe I should make a thread for this stuff, a lot of people get very confused with student lending (and rightfully so, the government is involved).
Xequecal
Trump's Staff
- 11,559
- -2,388
Here's another hilarious and confusing failure story from me. I'm pretty sure I just ran into and failed one of those shit tests. I was flirting with a chick from my neighborhood for awhile and she mentions she has a boyfriend. OK, fine, I still talk to her on occasion but no more flirting. Then one day she calls me and asks me if I want to go out with her somewhere. I lie and say I'm too tired, because I'm really not interested in going to a bar with a chick that already has a boyfriend, that's just weird.
Unfortunately, when I go out anyway I run into one of her friends and get confronted.
"Oh, I guess you're not that tired, huh? You really are some kind of asshole, just blowing her off all the time."
"Uhm, she has a boyfriend already."
"No she doesn't."
"Yes she does, she told me."
"She said she had a long distance boyfriend in fucking Canada. That's not a thing, nobody does that."
"So.....no boyfriend?"
"No."
"So, was I supposed to read her mind about this or was she specifically looking for a home wrecking jackass?"
"She just wanted to make sure you weren't interested in fucking her!"
"So she wasn't interested in a relationship with me?"
"Yes she was!"
"Uhm.....can we start over? I'm confused."
She just storms off. Can someone explain to me exactly when "I have a boyfriend" actually means "I'm single and available" and at what point exactly I'm supposed to stop pretending I'm not interested in sex and start broadcasting that I am interested? This is way too goddamn confusing. I'd also preferably like to avoid making more enemies out of women that live near me.
Unfortunately, when I go out anyway I run into one of her friends and get confronted.
"Oh, I guess you're not that tired, huh? You really are some kind of asshole, just blowing her off all the time."
"Uhm, she has a boyfriend already."
"No she doesn't."
"Yes she does, she told me."
"She said she had a long distance boyfriend in fucking Canada. That's not a thing, nobody does that."
"So.....no boyfriend?"
"No."
"So, was I supposed to read her mind about this or was she specifically looking for a home wrecking jackass?"
"She just wanted to make sure you weren't interested in fucking her!"
"So she wasn't interested in a relationship with me?"
"Yes she was!"
"Uhm.....can we start over? I'm confused."
She just storms off. Can someone explain to me exactly when "I have a boyfriend" actually means "I'm single and available" and at what point exactly I'm supposed to stop pretending I'm not interested in sex and start broadcasting that I am interested? This is way too goddamn confusing. I'd also preferably like to avoid making more enemies out of women that live near me.
Big Phoenix
Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
- 46,411
- 98,668
Why would that be confusing? Shes letting you know shes functionally retarded and is of no use to you.
TRP explains this easily. You're supposed to 'just get it' - completely ignore when a woman says she has a boyfriend. She may, she may not, it doesn't matter - she's still interested. Flirt, be coy, be an asshole, just ignore anything she says regarding a bf. It is a sort of shit test, yes.
Foggy
Ahn'Qiraj Raider
- 6,294
- 4,879
Based off this and the rest of your posts, your soon to be ex-wife is two things:
1. a cunt
2. in-FUCKING-sane
Run bro, run. Also, it is partly your fault, you give her to much power. You cannot give bitches power, they are too crazy to do anything rational with it. They lord that shit over you and then resent you for it. Bitches be crazy.
Foggy
Ahn'Qiraj Raider
- 6,294
- 4,879
When a girl says she has a boyfriend or is married the only response is, "But are you happy?"
Blazin
Creative Title
- 6,954
- 36,159
Lendarios's story sounds scary similar to my parents. This is exactly how they interact with each other, for 40 years now. Both miserable pretty much every day except a handful over the years. They don't believe in divorce, hate to be a pessimist but I believe once manipulation has gone to the point you are describing you are going to only fall deeper and deeper into a world of shit. It is sad that a kid is now about to be brought into this environment. Do your best man but a split may be the right choice sooner than later, just don't ditch your child like an asshole.
Xarpolis
Life's a Dream
- 14,661
- 16,351
So an update on my issue.
Last night I was working on the computer for some stuff for my wife. When I finished up, she was upstairs laying in bed while using her laptop.
I quickly took a shower, and when I finished the laptop was closed and she was in her "I'm asleep" pose.
No problem. I'm pretty tired myself, so I lay down next to her to go to bed. She quickly scoots over and puts her head on my shoulder. We lay like that for a few minutes and I took her hand and put it on my boxers in the dick area. She clearly got the message and began playing around. About 30 seconds lator, she had taken her panties off and was tugging off my boxers. We fucked. There you go. I wonder what this weekend will bring?
Last night I was working on the computer for some stuff for my wife. When I finished up, she was upstairs laying in bed while using her laptop.
I quickly took a shower, and when I finished the laptop was closed and she was in her "I'm asleep" pose.
No problem. I'm pretty tired myself, so I lay down next to her to go to bed. She quickly scoots over and puts her head on my shoulder. We lay like that for a few minutes and I took her hand and put it on my boxers in the dick area. She clearly got the message and began playing around. About 30 seconds lator, she had taken her panties off and was tugging off my boxers. We fucked. There you go. I wonder what this weekend will bring?
Julian The Apostate
Vyemm Raider
- 2,336
- 2,439
Imagine the bullshit mind games this idiot would try to pull when you're in a actual relationship. Thank her for giving you a warning shot and go on the the next one.