Marriage and the Power of Divorce

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lindz

lindz

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Yeah but like I said, it's no where near as satisfying. Sure if you just need to get off its fine but sex is soooo much better.
 
Cad

Cad

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lindz_sl said:
Yeah but like I said, it's no where near as satisfying. Sure if you just need to get off its fine but sex is soooo much better.
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I'd take a guess and say for most couples, the male's sex drive is higher than the females, so there will be times he takes care of himself. In your case, it wouldn't seem to be necessary. Did you ask him why?
 
Khane

Khane

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Haast_sl said:
Nester has a point. Also, it should be pointed out that her friend was the ranting crazy, not the actual chick.
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He was just holding frame bros. Keep up the good work Xequ. If you need any more help with how to approach the situation go visit /r/redpill. Tons of great info there.
 
Ryoz

Ryoz

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Some backstory; my wife is a fucking mess and I'm an idiot who got married young. She tried to kill herself twice, couldn't hold down a job, and finally she cheats on me. We decide to get divorced then find out she's pregnant. Turns out I'm actually the father so we agree to give it another shot for the sake of our daughter. Soon after realize I can't get over all the shit she's done to me, but she won't divorce me. She's unhappy but can't survive without me so decides to just latch onto me forever. Kill me. Then a miracle - she starts playing semi pro women's football, getting in shape, making friends. Things are looking up. Then she cheats on me with a teammate of hers. Tells me she's a lesbian now, wants a divorce. I'm so incredibly happy. Somehow I actually get her to sign a settlement agreement. She's dating this chick, doing her own thing, and I end up actually meeting someone. I can tell something is up and finally she ends up confronting me and begging me to take her back. I say no. Since then, probably 2 months ago or so, she's been acting batshit insane. Throwing away my shit, calling me 40 - 50 times within a few hours, and one morning actually showed up at my girlfriends house with our daughter at like 6 am because I wouldn't answer my phone. She didn't know exactly where she lived, so randomly drove around neighborhoods until she saw my car. Some days she's fine, some days she's not. I guess as long as we share custody I have to work with her, but given the fact that she's bipolar and doesn't treat it and the way she's acting, I get pretty worried about the effect it's having on our 2 1/2 year old. So yea, that's my life right now. Actually really happy with this girl I'm seeing, but I'm still dealing with a fucking infant (my soon to be ex) and can't wait to finalize the divorce. We also just started the process of selling our house so that's going to be fun as well. It's appraising almost 10k lower than it did 5 years ago and we've done nothing. Hope to make something on it but I'd be ok just breaking even at this point. Will make periodic updates.
 
Khane

Khane

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Ryoz_sl said:
Some backstory; my wife is a fucking mess and I'm an idiot who got married young. She tried to kill herself twice, couldn't hold down a job, and finally she cheats on me. We decide to get divorced then find out she's pregnant. Turns out I'm actually the father so we agree to give it another shot for the sake of our daughter. Soon after realize I can't get over all the shit she's done to me, but she won't divorce me. She's unhappy but can't survive without me so decides to just latch onto me forever. Kill me. Then a miracle - she starts playing semi pro women's football, getting in shape, making friends. Things are looking up. Then she cheats on me with a teammate of hers. Tells me she's a lesbian now, wants a divorce. I'm so incredibly happy. Somehow I actually get her to sign a settlement agreement. She's dating this chick, doing her own thing, and I end up actually meeting someone. I can tell something is up and finally she ends up confronting me and begging me to take her back. I say no. Since then, probably 2 months ago or so, she's been acting batshit insane. Throwing away my shit, calling me 40 - 50 times within a few hours, and one morning actually showed up at my girlfriends house with our daughter at like 6 am because I wouldn't answer my phone. She didn't know exactly where she lived, so randomly drove around neighborhoods until she saw my car. Some days she's fine, some days she's not. I guess as long as we share custody I have to work with her, but given the fact that she's bipolar and doesn't treat it and the way she's acting, I get pretty worried about the effect it's having on our 2 1/2 year old. So yea, that's my life right now. Actually really happy with this girl I'm seeing, but I'm still dealing with a fucking infant (my soon to be ex) and can't wait to finalize the divorce. We also just started the process of selling our house so that's going to be fun as well. It's appraising almost 10k lower than it did 5 years ago and we've done nothing. Hope to make something on it but I'd be ok just breaking even at this point. Will make periodic updates.
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Well... that sucks. How old were the two of you when you got married?
 
Khane

Khane

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Yikes. Did you guys ever discuss an abortion? What was the main catalyst for going through with the pregnancy?
 
Deathwing

Deathwing

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lindz_sl said:
You know, I don't care about masturbation as long as it doesn't have a detrimental effect on my sex life. I get that sometimes guys need to blow off steam and take care of business themselves. Problem though, I have a much more active sex drive than my husband. It drives me bonkers when he gets stressed out with work and just takes care of it on his own then I get nothing. Sure I can do the same, but I'd rather not, it is just no where near as satisfying. Why the heck do you men do this? Makes for a cranky wife when I get turned down because of that.
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How long is an average session of sex? And I'm including the whole "are you horny?" "do you want to fuck?" dance that some couples go through before even getting intimate. For me, and perhaps even moreso for your husband since he has 3 daughters, free time can be quite limited. So, the difference between hour+ session of sex vs 5 minutes with his dick, no questions asked, can be preferred.

What you need to do is add some additional opportunity cost to balance out that equation. Stay mad at him longer, although that seems kind of petty and will lead to resentment. Offer stuff during sex that masturbation + porn can't even touch. Ever since my wife started giving me anal regularly, masturbation has gone way down.
 
Vandyn

Vandyn

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lindz_sl said:
Yeah but like I said, it's no where near as satisfying. Sure if you just need to get off its fine but sex is soooo much better.
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You answered your own question. Sex is better but for a vast majority of men they don't get that enough (how much 'enough' is depends on the guy) so they resort to masturbation. In your case it sounds like you guys would do it almost every day so Cad is right, perhaps you need to ask him why.
 
Mures

Mures

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Nester_sl said:
they have semi pro women's football now?
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Yeah man, lesbians have all sorts of sports activities together, I actually knew he was going to say she left him for another woman as soon as I read semi-pro women's football.
 
Soygen

Soygen

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Implement an achievement system into your sex, lindz. Once he starts falling behind his friends in achievement score, he'll be all over it.
 
Ryoz

Ryoz

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We both wanted the abortion... we thought it would be best. Then she realized she wanted it to have it, maybe this would be her only chance. While I still pushed thr abortion eventually I had to accept she was going to keep it and I supported her. Went to the Lamaze and all the shit. I always wanted to have a child, just with someone that wasn't anything like my wife :/
 
T

The Master

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Vandyn_sl said:
You answered your own question. Sex is better but for a vast majority of men they don't get that enough (how much 'enough' is depends on the guy) so they resort to masturbation. In your case it sounds like you guys would do it almost every day so Cad is right, perhaps you need to ask him why.
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Guys in long term relationships usually stabilize at wanting sex every 2-3 days. Mostly because of sperm armies and optimum sperm health. If he is masturbating in addition to that or instead of that, there is something else going on in all likelihood (be it physical, psychological, etc).

My wife can sympathize with lindz.
 
Soygen

Soygen

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Ryoz_sl said:
We both wanted the abortion... we thought it would be best. Then she realized she wanted it to have it, maybe this would be her only chance. While I still pushed thr abortion eventually I had to accept she was going to keep it and I supported her. Went to the Lamaze and all the shit. I always wanted to have a child, just with someone that wasn't anything like my wife :/
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What a train-wreck. Have you told the courts that she is mentally ill and not treating it? Is this someone you want watching your child?
 
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