Marriage and the Power of Divorce

Yeah, she's made it clear that while she likes it in the butt sometimes, she is pretty much just into maybe a well lubed finger while we are fucking. However, she likes doing things to a guys ass. If it was just her thing I wouldn't be as uncomfortable about it. We basically have a reverse situation here. The girl is trying to convince the guy to let her put something in his ass. She's not been really pushy about it or anything, but she'll grab my balls during sex, and she definitely tests the waters with like her middle finger on my taint while she does it.

Ok, I'm going to tell one more story since I'm still pretty fucking amazed by the whole thing. So, we are having sex, but for some reason I'm just not getting there, it's been like 40 minutes and I'm mostly just tired and have tried finishing but I'm just not able. My body is just kind of like "ok you're done", and I tell her I just don't think its going to happen. She suggests maybe we masterbate together. I say sure, we can try that, and she asks if it would be weird if she brought out a toy. I'm like, fuck no, thats hot, bring it out. So she gets a rabbit out and starts doing herself while I'm kneeling between her legs watching and stroking myself. Well, after a minute I just move up, straddle her chest, and put my dick in her mouth. She's moaning and fucking herself, and I just hold her head with both hands and start fucking away. It's incredibly hot, and after a minute or two I start feeling my orgasm coming on. I pull out and start jerking and cum on her neck and chin/face, and its fantastic. Well, like, right at the end of my orgasm I think it will be hot if she sucks me a little more with cum all over her, so I just grab her head and put it back in. Well, normally I go limp pretty quickly right after I cum, but it felt so good and I just started thrusting for a sec, knowing I would lose my erection any second. Only I didn't, so I just start going crazy again face fucking her. After maybe 45 seconds or a minute I feel like I'm going to cum again, but know thats pretty much impossible, and I just keep going. Well, bam, I start feeling like I'm cumming, I just hold her head as deep as I can get and she kind of brings her arm up to push me. I kind of snap back into reality and pull back, and her mouth is just full of cum, and she swallows and goes "Holy fuck?! what was that? Did you just cum twice or were you holding it or something?!?! What just happened" and I was like "I don't know, holy shit, I have no idea, I think I just came twice, I... that was fucking crazy, I didn't mean to choke you or anything, sorry about that, it was just crazy" and she says "That was the hottest fucking thing ever, don't be sorry, my god you almost drowned me."

And she was right, that was pretty much the hottest thing ever, and I can't imagine it's ever going to happen like that again. I feel like I won the sex lottery.

There's your random Onoes sex story, now to hop in and call me a liar, and remind me why I've pretty much stopped posting this stuff anymore

Also, fellas, I can not recommend divorce enough if you've never gotten to experience this kind of shit. If you have an amazing wife, sure, stick with it, but holy fuck if you don't, go out, see the world, face fuck someone.

Don't worry about it Onoes. My girlfriend asked me if I had ever had my prostate stimulated during sex. I said no but maybe I'd be on board. She then asked if I would ever let her stick a dido up there. I said nope and asked her why that interested her. Turns out she wanted to strap it on because she wants to know what it feels like to give it to someone. So basically my girlfriend wants to know what it's like to be a man. So I just told her "It's like being the smartest person in the room 100% of the time"

Kirun_sl said:

Women who want to end a relationship will justify it however they can. It sounds like this was her justification. Especially since it took her another 2 months to use it. Anything that's a "deal breaker" ends the relationship right then and there. Something that gets brought up 2 months later is just an excuse and it's always something you were "wrong" about.

My experiences are similar to Wombat's in that once both sides have said their peace, if she's still reacting emotionally, a solid 30-60 minute break does the trick.

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I'm well aware they'll say anything. But this one came after a few other bullshit excuses. The best and most funny was she knows I find Europe to be a complete shithole and would never want to move there and she said she wanted to move to the UK. Fast forward five years and she's married, living in a rural town (also her hometown) and teaching elementary school. Which is a shame because she was a really, really smart girl. Somewhat wasted her talents settling down and taking a job such as teaching kids how to count to 10.

Also she listed that I didn't let her sit by the window on our vacation to Cancun that I paid for 100% as a reason lol

Tenks_sl said:

Also she listed that I didn't let her sit by the window on our vacation to Cancun that I paid for 100% as a reason lol

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Rofl, da fuq? That's the exact type of emotionally entitled rationalization that makes me flee lest things get really heated, because nothing pisses me off more than having your generosity turned against you. Statements like that usually evoke a loud snort followed by an "ok, princess", which of course causes them to go totally apeshit. "Crazy" and "princess" are probably two words guaranteed to evoke a massive emotional counterstrike.

Khane_sl said:

So basically my girlfriend wants to know what it's like to be a man. So I just told her "It's like being the smartest person in the room 100% of the time"

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How'd that work out for ya

Frenzied Wombat_sl said:

Rofl, da fuq? That's the exact type of emotionally entitled rationalization that makes me flee lest things get really heated, because nothing pisses me off more than having your generosity turned against you. Statements like that usually evoke a loud snort followed by an "ok, princess", which of course causes them to go totally apeshit. "Crazy" and "princess" are probably two words guaranteed to evoke a massive emotional counterstrike.

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Hahaha, I've discovered that to a woman being called Crazy is probably worse than being called Cunt but I'd never heard Princess before. I'm going to have to try that one at some point! lol

Onoes_sl said:

There's your random Onoes sex story, now to hop in and call me a liar, and remind me why I've pretty much stopped posting this stuff anymore

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I like your stories.

Gravy_sl said:

Enjoy that while you can. When is the kid due?

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4 months. My sex life is basically dead now due to some complications anyways. They said the baby is too low.

Gavinmad_sl said:

How'd that work out for ya

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Probably a lot better than you're expecting. What's it like to only be able to fantasize?

That was mean. I'm sorry

Khane_sl said:

That was mean. I'm sorry

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It's ok, i'll make sure to include you being mean to me on my big 'why im committing suicide' manifesto in a couple months

Gavinmad_sl said:

It's ok, i'll make sure to include you being mean to me on my big 'why im committing suicide' manifesto in a couple months

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I can never get through a complete manifesto, I always skip to the back to see how it ends.

Good lord, I was going to come on and talk about how out of nowhere the wife is all of a sudden into this morning sex thing where I kiss her goodbye before leaving and she gets it started. Well this morning I was unable to finish, and it was shocking. Hell I know what the problem was, I just needed to read Onoes' story first, that's the part I missed...

I have a bad case of morning dick not working right

The girl I'm dating is coming to visit tonight. It's likely she'll be at my house before I'm home, so I left a key so she can let the dog out and watch TV until I get there. However, this afternoon my brain has been working up the odds of what she'll actually do.

Here's my thoughts so far:
- Will actually let out the dog and watch TV, nothing more --> 3%
- Will go through all my personal stuff --> 98%
- Will find the dead hookers --> 7% (they're hidden well)
- Will rob me blind --> 2%
- Will give the key back peacefully --> 34%
- Will do something constructive, like cook my dinner or be naked when I show up --> 29%

Feel free to adjust the odds, add your own scenarios and start a betting pool on my potential misery or happiness.

Haast_sl said:

The girl I'm dating is coming to visit tonight. It's likely she'll be at my house before I'm home, so I left a key so she can let the dog out and watch TV until I get there. However, this afternoon my brain has been working up the odds of what she'll actually do.

Here's my thoughts so far:
- Will actually let out the dog and watch TV, nothing more --> 3%
- Will go through all my personal stuff --> 98%
- Will find the dead hookers --> 7% (they're hidden well)
- Will rob me blind --> 2%
- Will give the key back peacefully --> 34%
- Will do something constructive, like cook my dinner or be naked when I show up --> 29%

Feel free to adjust the odds, add your own scenarios and start a betting pool on my potential misery or happiness.

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How many times have you dated her already? That's pretty fucking brave of you to do that.. At a minimum, your medicine cabinet and night table will be searched.

Frenzied Wombat_sl said:

How many times have you dated her already? That's pretty fucking brave of you to do that.. At a minimum, your medicine cabinet and night table will be searched.

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We've been dating for a month or so. Pretty actively too; I've lost count of the number of times we've gone out. She's already been to my house several times.

I agree, hence the 98% odds. I don't recall anything embarrassing in either. Guess we'll find out shortly...