Marriage and the Power of Divorce

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Haast

Lord Nagafen Raider
3,281
1,636
Onoes: "I don't want to come over. I'll see you some other time."
Her: "Come on, come over!"
Him: <Fuck she may touch my dick!> "Ok"
Seems like she really wanted him over, he didn't feel like it, then he made the (wrong) decision to half-ass it and go over way later in an attempt to people-please. Saying you'll be over "in a while" is setting yourself up for a misunderstanding. Either set a time, agree & follow through or better yet, just say "I'm tired and going to sleep early. Let's do something <whenever> instead." It's not like you are setting up a first date. Once you date regularly, boundaries apply.

Doing what he did can SEEM like the right thing to do, but being straightforward works better. Sets a better precedent too. And if she's really willing to dump you because you worked a 12 hour day and are really tired... then, bullet dodged.
 

Fifey

Trakanon Raider
2,898
962
She isn't exactly bottling it up
No, but like all people during the first six months of a relationship you are usually a more willing to compromise version of yourself and if it's already starting then I'm sure it will only get worse. All my opinion and past experiences though.
 

Tenks

Bronze Knight of the Realm
14,163
607
Hm in my experience the true first honeymoon phase starts to fade at around 4 weeks. That is when 18 year old Tenks was always crashing and burning his relationships at least.
 

Tenks

Bronze Knight of the Realm
14,163
607
You won't get any argument from me there. But what man hasn't succumb to the booty?
Point taken but I can also see from her perspective that he said he was too tiered to hang out and spend time with her but has some magical energy to give her a fucking
 

Noodleface

A Mod Real Quick
38,437
16,351
Simply bad communication. Onoes said no, but she wouldn't listen - part of communication is listening. He went over and didn't really listen to her either.

Sometimes women just want you to simmer in it, by leaving you probably did more harm than good unless she's some hambeast with attachment or daddy issues.
 

Soygen

The Dirty Dozen For the Price of One
<Nazi Janitors>
28,566
45,165
Onoes and this girl should duke it out in the Octagon and webcast it for us. That's the only solution I can think of.

Haast's last post is 100% correct.
 

Onoes

Trakanon Raider
1,478
1,275
Hahaha, man, all the people who think my dick made the decision and I wanted to fuck, you are dead wrong. It was actually the opposite. I didn't really feel like fucking at all, but she is pretty relentless about it, which is normally awesome, but I was fucking tired. I'll confess I wasn't in a super hurry to get to her house because a part of me was thinking "Well, the later I get there, the more likely I am to hopefully be able to just dodge the sex and get some sleep." So, when I got home and my friend stopped by, I didn't fret about talking to him for half an hour before I actually got ready.

At no point was I hard, or really feeling any desire for it, so as far as be being selfish and wanting to get me some, way the hell off target.

As far as the "6 weeks lolololol" shit, yeah, 6 weeks is the longest relationship I've been in since the divorce, and everythings going really well, so yeah, it's kind of a big deal to me. In the 6 weeks, there has only been 2 days I didn't see her, both because I was out of town. I've been having sex at least once a day, but usually more, and honestly, some of the greatest sex I've ever had, so thats been fucking insane too. So yeah, maybe 6 weeks isn't much for dating, but we have been on the fast track for sure, spending the night together more nights than we don't, etc.

Now, I'm sure that has all sorts of potential problems as well, and its not how I would recommend most people do it for sure... but you know... it feels right, so I'm going with it.

And yeah, like I said in my follow up post, I know its minor and shit, I'm well aware, I only posted because I was a little butthurt last night, the thread was at one of its standstills, and thought you guys might care for an update.

Trust me, I've had a bunch of crazy sex stories over the last 6 weeks, but I've been keeping them to myself so you hateful vultures can't try and ruin them for me :p
 

Onoes

Trakanon Raider
1,478
1,275
Seems like she really wanted him over, he didn't feel like it, then he made the (wrong) decision to half-ass it and go over way later in an attempt to people-please. Saying you'll be over "in a while" is setting yourself up for a misunderstanding. Either set a time, agree & follow through or better yet, just say "I'm tired and going to sleep early. Let's do something <whenever> instead." It's not like you are setting up a first date. Once you date regularly, boundaries apply.

Doing what he did can SEEM like the right thing to do, but being straightforward works better. Sets a better precedent too. And if she's really willing to dump you because you worked a 12 hour day and are really tired... then, bullet dodged.
And yes, I 100% agree with you. Last week she asked me to come spend a night and I told her I just wanted some me time and to sleep, and the next day she made a couple of comments how she had hoped I was just going to show up and surprize her. So last night I thought "Well, I don't want to really, but it will make her happy just to have me in her bed, so why not."

I now see that's not the right approach and won't make the same mistake.
 

Fifey

Trakanon Raider
2,898
962
. In the 6 weeks, there has only been 2 days I didn't see her, both because I was out of town. I've been having sex at least once a*
I knew I was catching whiffs of crazy.
 

Phazael

Confirmed Beta Shitlord, Fat Bastard
<Aristocrat╭ರ_•́>
14,836
32,176
Considering he ended his marriage with three years of no nookie (and his wife likely cheated on him at some point), then followed it up with a string of crazies and under aged girls, it is entirely likely he has forgotten how to interact with women his own age who are not completely batshit.

Was she selfish? Sure, but girls are ALWAYS fucking slightly clingy early on in a relationship and he could have handled that entire situation entirely by either being more assertive or by doing what she asked. There is no in-between in that situation, especially with the kind of tail Onoes is pulling in. The sort of well adjusted women that can see in other than black and white are not binge dating they guys who drive the Jurassic Park truck around. No offense to him. She is nesting and reeling his ass in, shitty as that is, and women doing that shit expect to other be put in their place or for the man to tow the line.

He basically handled it in the worst way possible. Once they were both pissed, leaving was the worst thing he could have done because she probably started making up a bunch of doomsday scenarios in her brain the moment he crawled home, most of which revolving around how he is likely to bail out on her at the first sign of trouble and is therefor unreliable. Once he was mad enough to bail, he should have just grudge fucked her (preferably in the pooper) even if he was not in the mood just to give her a little hormonal reset. Had he done that shit and crashed there, I guarantee she would have forgotten why she was even pissed off.
 

Phazael

Confirmed Beta Shitlord, Fat Bastard
<Aristocrat╭ರ_•́>
14,836
32,176
Question for Onoes: How old is this woman again? And how far does she live from her parents, particularly her mother?
 

Soygen

The Dirty Dozen For the Price of One
<Nazi Janitors>
28,566
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Young girls, not under-aged girls. Let's not paint the dude as some pedo.
 

Frenzied Wombat

Potato del Grande
14,730
31,803
Phaz is on a roll lately. I agree on the grudge-fuck, but the only thing I'd add is that instead of leaving, I would have firmly stated my case and just walked into the other room and started doing something else. Give her 10-30 minutes to let her mind work through the million possible female angles of what you said, and she would have eventually emerged from her room like nothing ever happened and spontaneously give you a blowjob. She was acting like a petulant clinger and usually if you put your foot down and give them some time to think about it they do a mental 180. Usually... One of the greatest mysteries of female thought processes is how they can so quickly switch from anger to blowjobs.
 

Tenks

Bronze Knight of the Realm
14,163
607
I've had bad luck with the "leave and let her simmer" angle. I did it once and the chick broke up with me later on saying that, in her opinion, I was in the wrong and just leaving the room with her by herself was me not accepting blame or willingness to even discuss the situation. I was trying to make her feel bad for something she perceived as my fault.
 

Khane

Got something right about marriage
20,703
14,472
Leave to let her simmer. That works when you're dating someone who is severely emotionally immature. It won't work on a functional well adjusted woman. It won't work on anyone who has any level of maturity and can actually communicate with their partner, man or woman. It's completely immature to just leave when things aren't going your way.
 

Noodleface

A Mod Real Quick
38,437
16,351
The worst thing is when he left she probably thought "manchild just wanted some fuck and when he couldn't get it he left im going to cut off his dick"

Moral of the story is watch out for someone pooping in your bushes Onoes.
 

Tenks

Bronze Knight of the Realm
14,163
607
Leave to let her simmer. That works when you're dating someone who is severely emotionally immature. It won't work on a functional well adjusted woman. It won't work on anyone who has any level of maturity and can actually communicate with their partner, man or woman. It's completely immature to just leave when things aren't going your way.
Agreed.