Big Phoenix
Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
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Marriage and the Power of Divorce
- Thread starter Grumpus
- Start date
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Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!
Go here and give us your nominations!Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!
Gavinmad
Mr. Poopybutthole
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Kirun
Buzzfeed Editor
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Ok, but you don't just get a common law marriage by cohabitation alone. You have to "hold out".
Khane
Got something right about marriage
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Because sometimes people change their minds.
You guys seem to be making an awful lot of assumptions. Sutekh has never said she always wanted kids and he just decided to cross that bridge when he got there. She could very well have said she didn't and then changed her mind. Unless I missed something.
Himeo
Vyemm Raider
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Famm
Ahn'Qiraj Raider
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Its usually something that would have come up at some point in the courtship. Its entirely possible she was willing to just assume that he would change his mind (or that she could convince him AKA force the issue later) that's not at all uncommon. But he's always presented this perfect marriage (except now for that one "little" difference) for years going back to FoH/GWBYHT and lectured people on immaturity and bad relationships. So I don't think its unreasonable to expect that they should have had a more serious discussion on this prior to it becoming divorce material.
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In my case, Khane is right, people do change their mind. My wife started out our relationship not wanting kids and that slowly changed. I can understand Sutekh's reluctance to end a long relationship if he suspected she might change her mind again.
I don't have anything against having kids itself. As in, raising someone and teaching them right and wrong, etc, I think that's pretty cool. It was all the bullshit that came with it that made me reluctant: expensive, lots of lost free time, and there's a lot about this country/world that I really don't feel like exposing a new life to. I decided to have one anyway because I disliked the idea of divorcing my wife even more. Really stupid reason to have a kid. But in a world of 7 billion people, I'm not sure there are objectively good reasons to have a kid.
So, despite me despite me disliking my family's assurances("you'll like him when he arrives", shouldn't I feel that need beforehand?), it's worked out well so far. I don't really notice the lost time and he's been much less of an annoyance than I had anticipated. And while my mind has changed about kids, I'm not sure I want another. They're still expensive. Also, it seems we lucked out with how easy going he is. Not sure I want to roll the dice again and get the kid that's hyperallergenic, has sleeping issues, and is clingy.
Sorry for the rambling there. Just wanted to share that both my wife and I changed our minds, at separate times, about kids, and it seems to have worked out. Check back in 18 years to make sure I haven't ruined him.
I don't have anything against having kids itself. As in, raising someone and teaching them right and wrong, etc, I think that's pretty cool. It was all the bullshit that came with it that made me reluctant: expensive, lots of lost free time, and there's a lot about this country/world that I really don't feel like exposing a new life to. I decided to have one anyway because I disliked the idea of divorcing my wife even more. Really stupid reason to have a kid. But in a world of 7 billion people, I'm not sure there are objectively good reasons to have a kid.
So, despite me despite me disliking my family's assurances("you'll like him when he arrives", shouldn't I feel that need beforehand?), it's worked out well so far. I don't really notice the lost time and he's been much less of an annoyance than I had anticipated. And while my mind has changed about kids, I'm not sure I want another. They're still expensive. Also, it seems we lucked out with how easy going he is. Not sure I want to roll the dice again and get the kid that's hyperallergenic, has sleeping issues, and is clingy.
Sorry for the rambling there. Just wanted to share that both my wife and I changed our minds, at separate times, about kids, and it seems to have worked out. Check back in 18 years to make sure I haven't ruined him.
Sutekh
Blackwing Lair Raider
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Haha yeah, we got together when I was 17 and she was 21. At the time neither of us wanted children, I've always had the stance of not wanting kids a little bit for my own selfish reasons and little bit for the fact that there are just far too many people in the world currently and adding to that made no sense. My thoughts on the matter were all but solidified when my little sister had a daughter and my older brother had a son. So now I've got a niece and nephew that I can basically shower with any sort of affection that I would want to give my own kids. About that time is when she started realizing that maybe she was wrong in her initial thoughts on children. I guess as she got older her thoughts on the matter changed, I'm sure part of my thought process through the entire thing was watching my dad date some woman for almost 20 years, after he had a vasectomy, she wanted children badly he didn't want anymore kids, they stayed together and now she's in her late 40s and as miserable as can be. I didn't want something like that to happen to my ex.
YOLO BROS.
YOLO BROS.
Our relationship was pretty awesome I'm not going to lie, even now after we're apart and she's remarried. Her and I are still extremely close, we talk everyday, game together, do things for each other, and she's still one of my best of friends.
Gravy
Bronze Squire
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Sutekh
Blackwing Lair Raider
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Nope. Before she moved in with her new dude her and I still hung out and did stuff together and yeah I would've liked to bang her, but I never acted on anything like that and probably would've declined the offer had she asked (she wouldn't have). But the desire to bone will probably always be there.
Soygen
The Dirty Dozen For the Price of One
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I think I need to step up and buy something more for XMas for the wife. All I bought her was an e-gift card that I made her print out herself since my printer at work isn't working. She was downstairs wrapping presents then lording it over me that she bought me like 5 things and I only got her a piece of paper. I'm thinking maybe a fancy bottle of wine? RR bros help me out I need it quick.
Noodleface
A Mod Real Quick
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Tenks is this the first Christmas you're married or the second? an e-gift card seems kind of thoughtless. I don't know what it was for or how much I guess
BrotherWu
MAGA
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Jewelry is usually a good choice but you're pissing money away. Depends on whether you can deal with that.
Something related to her hobbies shows that you are observant. My wife likes to cook so I occasionally buy her some kitchen gadget. I was thinking about a really nice set of chef knives this year. Hopefully none of them will end up in my torso.
Something related to her hobbies shows that you are observant. My wife likes to cook so I occasionally buy her some kitchen gadget. I was thinking about a really nice set of chef knives this year. Hopefully none of them will end up in my torso.
Noodleface
A Mod Real Quick
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My wife wanted all christmas stuff.. children books (rudolph), rudolph build-a-bear, some other crap. Feels like a waste to buy christmas items for christmas presents, but it's what she wanted.
BrutulTM
Good, bad, I'm the guy with the gun.
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Its the first one being married but we lived together for 3 years before this and dated for 2 years before that. So its not like its our first XMas. And neither of us really like XMas anyways.
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My wife and I have basically given up on buying "forced" gifts. If either one of us happens to think of something thoughtful, we buy it then. Otherwise, for Christmas, anniversary, birthday, whatever, we usually just move some money into each other's "fun money" accounts. We can use that money to buy whatever we want without the other person giving them shit, and it doesn't count against the budget. Truly guilt-free money(I mean, unless your bank account is severely depleted and/or your budget is near red), can't think of a better gift than that.
I bought her a bag of Twix minis, some earrings, and some other stuff I can't even remember for her stocking, but that's a different tradition. It's not supposed to be much, ~$50.
I bought her a bag of Twix minis, some earrings, and some other stuff I can't even remember for her stocking, but that's a different tradition. It's not supposed to be much, ~$50.