Marriage and the Power of Divorce
- Thread starter Grumpus
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Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!
Go here and give us your nominations!Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!
For Christmas the wife and I are buying a handgun together and she wanted a crepe griddle thing so I am buying that for her. It's too late for the waiting period for the handgun before Christmas so we will just do it later. Just an excuse to put it into the Christmas present budget column on the spreadsheet is all.
Our 15th anniversary is in January though and we are doing a staycation in San Diego. That is where we are really going to have our fun. We haven't exchanged a gift or card for a single anniversary, just not how we do. We do a small trip and say happy anniversary in the morning. We are adults.
Our 15th anniversary is in January though and we are doing a staycation in San Diego. That is where we are really going to have our fun. We haven't exchanged a gift or card for a single anniversary, just not how we do. We do a small trip and say happy anniversary in the morning. We are adults.
Nester
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Khane
Got something right about marriage
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Makin' pancakes, makin' bullet pancakes.
You take some bullets and you put em in the pancakes.
Bullet paaaaancaaaaaaaaaaaaaaakes.
Soygen
The Dirty Dozen For the Price of One
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Onoes
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Basically everyone I know is saying there must be something I don't know about, and most are saying there must be another guy in the picture somewhere I'm just totally unaware of. I don't know how that could be, I mean, we were together during about all of my free time, and while sure, she had hours in the day I was no where near, I would fucking swear she was head over heals in love with me. She told me she was constantly, and all her actions and mannerisms reinforced this. I took her up to Prescott last weekend for a big Christmas dinner thing, and we had a great time, and when we were leaving I drove to the outskirts of the mountains to show her around where I'm hoping to buy some land to build a house on. She was like "Are you going to bring me with you?" and I was like "Of course baby! Stick with me, and all this could be yours! lol" etc. It was fucking great, and she was just so into me and made several references to points in the future where we are still together. Like "After our kids move out (which is like 14 years away..) we should take a trip yada yada" etc. I really, really didn't see this coming.
And no, no new insight. She text me a couple times this morning basically asking if I wanted to talk, she said she doesn't know what all to think about this, and maybe we could talk more sometime and figure it out. I have no fucking idea what that means. It seems pretty clear to me? She broke up with me. What am I supposed to be figuring out.
And yeah, I hate all the beta alpha shit, I really do, but I do really feel like every huge fucking asshole I know has no women problems at all, and every nice guy I know is either single, or in a terrible relationship for them, and while I'm sure thats not universally true, I thought a lot last night about nice guys finishing last.
I really feel like theres a good chance I'm not ever going to find someone as awesome sexually as well, which is a fucking drag. Can I find another girl into nerdy thing? Sure, probably. But one into all the stuff I'm into who says stuff like "I'm going to ride your dick until I cum on it, then I'm going to lick you clean, and when you can't take it anymore I want you to fuck my face, does that sound good baby?" And she's fucking serious. And the rest of the time she's like a sweet little angel, A+ mom to her daughter, goes to the gym, works, drinks, plays board games and watches the Hobbit. I mean. FUCK. She was just the total fucking package for me.
I'll get over it, but yeah, I'm very skeptical I'm going to meet someone like her again.
Soygen
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Frenzied Wombat
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I learnt long ago that trying to mentally rationalize "why" a girl dumps you early on is a total, utter, waste of time. I'm not berating you for doing so, as we've all been there at one point or another, but I am saying that ruminating over it is basically chasing circular logic to infinity.
And she's fucking with you by sending you texts after the break-up. She's basically being insecure now and wants to see if she has power over you. Whatever you do don't play into it. Tell her you liked her and hence further communication is not helpful, and that you want to move on. Basically reject her, ignore her further texts, and I guarantee she'll be ringing your phone off the hook unless she has another piece on the side that she prefers. Even then, she could try and keep you in a holding pattern as back-up plan.
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She's having second thoughts and while everyone here will tell you not to fall for it, if she's that great it's worth it to at least hear her out. Maybe it was just a freak out on her part and while it'll expose some crazy you might be able to deal with it.
Or maybe it's not, but as head over heels as you seem to be I don't know why you wouldn't give her a chance to explain. Maybe it's something you can work through. Maybe you decide she's nuts and you don't want to deal with it, but at least you get some closure there. Worst case scenario you're just back right where you are.
I can't imagine anyone else agreeing with this but that's what I'd do.
Noodleface
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Sutekh
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I can't adequately exaggerate to you just how bad of an idea this is. Unless this girl you were dating is some teenager then this will not help you in any way/shape/form.
Sometimes when people break things off with someone they really care about they have their legitimate reasons for doing it rather than they just want to fuck someone else, if you actually care about what she has to say then take her up on her offer. You obviously have every right to be upset over the situation due to all the mixed signals, but trying to play this shit off like some ALPHA MALE is just retarded. Just play it off like yourself.
I also don't know why you wouldn't try and figure out why the girl broke up with you. I learned a ton from relationships that went down in flames. You won't get an answer from her but you can mentally playback the relationship and figure out where you went wrong and try to avoid doing that in the future. Its like watching your replays in Starcraft after a loss. It sucks to do it but if you want to learn and get better you better do it. If you want to continue making the same mistakes and constantly chalking it up to "Bitches be crazy" you're going to just keep ruining relationships.
Fifey
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She is like fifteen years younger than him.
I called the crazy after their first fight, girl sounds like she has some deep emotional issues from my armchair.
Frenzied Wombat
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Sorry bro, but nowhere did I say she'sconsciouslytrying to fuck with him. Also, I'm not debating that her reasons may or may not have been legitimate-- but that's irrelevant imho. I'm also not saying that he shouldn't taker her up on her "offer", just that he has to do it in a way that doesn't make him the ball on the end of the string. Keeping his cool and projecting an image that his life will be just fine without her is the best way to win her back, not getting rejected and then being immediately available to listen to her opine about her feelings. Women don't like doormats.