Marriage and the Power of Divorce

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Tenks

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Itlan_sl said:
I do this, kind of. I make probably 8 pounds of chicken to last me the week, or I'll throw together 4 pounds of chili for my lunch throughout the week. Seems normal to me, idk.
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It probably is fairly normal. Some people get very, very worked up about food though.
 
Mures

Mures

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I'm kind of guilty of that as well. The wife does the most of the cooking so when I do have to cook I use an easy recipe that she recently made, so we end up having the same meal a lot as a result. Still never the same thing twice in one week though, I did that once, ONCE.
 
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Tenks

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We've been big on reimagining our left overs recently. Like one of our favorite things is ground turky + chorizo as our taco meat. So we'll have taco night one night then we'll (I'm using "we" very loosely here) use the left over meat another night and add some onion, pepper and eggs and have like a border scramble out of it.
 
Noodleface

Noodleface

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My wife doesn't eat leftovers, I don't know, don't ask. Anyways, it's always 'more for me' so I do tons of weird shit with it.
 
lurkingdirk

lurkingdirk

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Noodlemod_sl said:
My wife doesn't eat leftovers
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Wow, that's really odd. She makes something new and unique for lunch every day, when last night's supper left overs are staring her in the face, saying, "eat me, bitch, you know you loved me."?

I always try to make enough that at least me and my wife have leftovers for lunch the next day. The older kids have been taking them to school, too.

Cooking is an important part of co-habiting with someone. Marriages can be so much better if you have a good division of labour in the kitchen.
 
Big Phoenix

Big Phoenix

Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
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Onoes_sl said:
I'll try to keep this one shorter.

Fat girl flirts with me. I acknowledge but don't flirt back, because I'm not interested. I mention it to a friend, my friend tells me she's the nicest person on the planet, and he knows a couple people she's dating and all they do is go on and on about how she was the most amazing lover they had ever had. I know one of these guys, he confirms that she was the best sex of his life, and just loved sucking cock, would do it all the time, multiple times a day, and was mind blowing. So.... I'm still not attracted to her at all, but I'm kind of interested.

So, I go on this 5 day ren fair camping thing this last week, big event with 4 thousand or so people, got home last night. Well, she was there too, and found me on the first day. We hung out some, but wandered off and did our own thing. She sends me a text at like 2 a.m. and asks what I'm doing, I let her know I was just climbing into my tent. She says she's bored and would I mind if she comes to my tent and hangs out with me. I decide to cave and say yes, knowing exactly what this means.

Now, I know my motivators where shitty here, I knew what the issue was. I'm not attracted to this lady but a combination of still being butthurt over getting dumped a couple months ago, to several failed blind dates during the interim, to friends telling me this girl was totally amazing and worth it, basically all led up to "Ehhh... why not?"

So, she gets there, and we hang out, and make out, and I'm like, ok, this is pretty much not gross. Great. Then she goes down on me and it's terrible. Just like, one of the worst, if not the worst, blowjobs of my entire life. So, after a couple minutes I stop her, with just like "I can't wait any longer, I have to taste you" kind of play, but in reality it was just to get her to stop hurting my dick with her mouth. So, she pulls off her dress and I go down on her and... full natural muff. I haven't dealt with that in a solid 15 years, and its again, just not my thing. So, I'm going down on her, and just trying not to gag, again, really not my thing. I do it for a few minutes and then get up to do the dead, only I'm completely flaccid by now. She starts going down on me again, and I get hard, although I think a lot of it was sheer willpower on my part.

I put a condom on, and start going. Only, it's super awkward because shes fat. I don't know how to do anything, because, like, I don't think she bends the way girls I usually have sex with bend. I think my only option is to kind of missionary her? I'm doing that, but I'm just kind of... like, there's no want or desire, other than getting out of the situation. I was mostly just keeping my eyes shut because if I opened them I went "Fucking gross" mentally. After a few minutes I just couldn't stay hard anymore. I stopped and told her sorry, I shouldn't have made a move because I was drinking earlier, and it just wasn't going to happen, basically I blamed "whisky dick". She was fine and said "It's totally ok, I already got mine, so I just feel bad you're not going to cum." And then I basically just told her thank you and started immediately talking about how tired and exhausted I was. She left after a bit and I went to sleep with a deep feeling of "I've made a huge mistake".

Sure enough, the next day she kept trying to run into me, and in the evening she sent me a text asking if she could come over, and I said "I'm actually really beat tonight, sorry, I'm just going to crash.". Well, day 3 she sends me a big "I don't really do one night stands and thought there was going to be repeat performances, etc." and I had to send a big "Hey, glad it happened, lovely to have known you, but I wasn't looking for a relationship, and just assumed, a drunken sex night while camping was kind of a one off thing. Sorry, but I think that was it." in a much nicer, longer, and more polite way. She said she understands and it's cool.

That night, met a super fit 24 year old girl, went back to her tent and made out with her. Felt much better. Night 4 I met an even nicer/cuter/smarter 29 year old lady and spent the evening with her.

Today I'm talking to both the 24 and 29 year old ladies, both of whom would really like to hang out more and see what happens. They each live 3 hours away though, in opposite directions.

The moral of the story is.... Fat people are gross, your friends are lier's, and good things come to those who wait... or who don't wait I guess, but then you have to remember the fat girl and kick yourself for not waiting.
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What the fuck? You went down on a woman while camping after a long day of activity? Also the fact your friend sat there and played her up about how great of a lay she was and you should go bang her too is really fucking weird. Seriously dude, cut those fucking stupid ass horns off and dress and look like a normal person.
 
Mures

Mures

Blackwing Lair Raider
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lurkingdirk_sl said:
Cooking is an important part of co-habiting with someone. Marriages can be so much better if you have a good division of labour in the kitchen.
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Yeah, the wife and I love cooking together, so much we started our own vegetable/herb garden to use fresh ingredients. I do most of the dishes while she does most of the cooking. Great way to spend time together and not in front of a tv.

My wife used to not eat left overs, but after some bitching on my part about how much money we throw away in food now she will take left overs for lunch the next day.

Big Phoenix_sl said:
What the fuck? You went down on a woman while camping after a long day of activity?
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That was my thinking as well. The smells must have been something else, but considering she was so big only missionary could be performed onoes probably couldn't breathe while down there at least.
 
Noodleface

Noodleface

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lurkingdirk_sl said:
Wow, that's really odd. She makes something new and unique for lunch every day, when last night's supper left overs are staring her in the face, saying, "eat me, bitch, you know you loved me."?

I always try to make enough that at least me and my wife have leftovers for lunch the next day. The older kids have been taking them to school, too.

Cooking is an important part of co-habiting with someone. Marriages can be so much better if you have a good division of labour in the kitchen.
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Her lunches are boring and I would rather end my life than eat what she does everyday. I lost the battle long ago, but I guess really I won
 
lurkingdirk

lurkingdirk

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Noodlemod_sl said:
Her lunches are boring and I would rather end my life than eat what she does everyday. I lost the battle long ago, but I guess really I won
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You are the greater person. Time to falcon punch her in the lunch and see if it improves.

Seriously, though, if she's good eating boring stuff, makes it easy to prepare. Hurry for satisfaction, I guess?
 
Noodleface

Noodleface

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What the fuck man.

Is it standard procedure at this age to just hang out with a girl and make out? Seems very middle-schoolish
 
Khane

Khane

Got something right about marriage
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mures_sl said:
You're talking about a guy with devil horns.
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What is wrong with hanging out with a woman and having a little back seat makeout session? Do you have stop having fun or feeling any passion once you hit a certain age? I doubt I'll ever stop hanging out and making out with m'lady.
 
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