Marriage and the Power of Divorce

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chaos

chaos

Buzzfeed Editor
17,324
4,839
idk, I think I noticed a few behaviors in myself that I didn't like. It isn't fair to blame my wife for that, I am my own man, I control that. So I'm doing something about it. I'm trying to get the kids outdoors, do some hiking and stuff. I've cut the alcohol down and probably need to cut it out entirely, idk. The times I snapped at my kids I talked to them about it, apologized or whatever, but it isn't like I hit them or anything crazy. I've been trying to pressure her to see a therapist but it hasn't worked. So I'm going to work on me I guess.

I try and be patient because I understand mental illness is a real thing and all of that, I just don't understand it. If it was me, I would want to do whatever I had to so I could fix it. Or make it better if it can't be "fixed". I definitely wouldn't want to take meds that fuck me up almost as bad as the affliction itself and call it a day FOREVER.
 
Palum

Palum

what Suineg set it to
28,392
46,539
I feel bad for you guys. The problem is when you have people who care for and will support the person,treatablemental illness is 100% of the time the fault of the person who is ill if it persists - by definition treatments (medical and therapy wise) are available. At some point if they actively fight against getting help, they are the ENTIRE cause of their continued problems and you have to move on. Funny how some of them find a way to get the help as soon as everyone tells them to fuck off because they are tired of their shit. I've been through the same thing with family members and friends before. They refuse therapy because blah blah blah, they won't take medicine because blah blah blah, the last psychiatrist just didn't 'get' them so why bother trying again blah blah blah, always excuses. Fuck em.
 
Khane

Khane

Got something right about marriage
20,741
14,517
What is this RP insinuation? We have been dating for 6 weeks, long enough that a vague "Something came up" is not a good enough reason to cancel a date. I am too old to have to deal with BS games like that. She even admitted she was trying to see how I would react. It's ridiculous. There is nothing RP about how I reacted. I simply said "Ok, guess you've lost interest it was nice meeting you".

If you guys were dating someone for a while and out of nowhere the morning of a date you got such a vague cancellation what would be your first thoughts? This wasn't a 3rd date where we barely know each other. At some point I expect the person I am dating to act like an adult and if she has a problem she wants to talk about... to actually talk about it. Instead she decided to play some weird game where I have to drag the actual concern out of her. I have no patience for that shit. And if you guys think that's some kind of normal behavior I feel bad for you.

My reaction escalated because she admitted she was playing a game, and fuck that.
 
Cad

Cad

scientia potentia est
<Bronze Donator>
26,240
53,448
chaos_sl said:
idk, I think I noticed a few behaviors in myself that I didn't like. It isn't fair to blame my wife for that, I am my own man, I control that. So I'm doing something about it. I'm trying to get the kids outdoors, do some hiking and stuff. I've cut the alcohol down and probably need to cut it out entirely, idk. The times I snapped at my kids I talked to them about it, apologized or whatever, but it isn't like I hit them or anything crazy. I've been trying to pressure her to see a therapist but it hasn't worked. So I'm going to work on me I guess.

I try and be patient because I understand mental illness is a real thing and all of that, I just don't understand it. If it was me, I would want to do whatever I had to so I could fix it. Or make it better if it can't be "fixed". I definitely wouldn't want to take meds that fuck me up almost as bad as the affliction itself and call it a day FOREVER.
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Mental illness is rough because they literally cannot process their emotions and feelings and are ruled by them. Read the depression thread, they know they are depressed or manic or whatever but can't do much about it. Your wife processing her issues is much the same. She's not able to consider the issue rationally in a balanced fashion the way a stable person like you or I would.
 
Soygen

Soygen

The Dirty Dozen For the Price of One
<Nazi Janitors>
28,567
45,176
I can't. That thread is to me, what the GamerGate thread is to you.
 
moonarchia

moonarchia

The Scientific Shitlord
24,841
46,928
Noodle doodle just man up and read it. Just in case your wife goes psycho post natal, or maybe in 10 years your minions start acting funny. Sadness and the tools we have to fight it are important.
 
Noodleface

Noodleface

A Mod Real Quick
38,488
16,441
I already did read it, a certain user was triggering the beginning of depression inside of me. I can't really joke about that thread though, it's some serious shit going on.
 
T

Tenks

Bronze Knight of the Realm
14,163
607
Pretty sure you need to be somewhat mentally unstable to sit at a virtual camp for 12 straight hours hoping a rare spawn comes up so you may have a chance of a minor upgrade
 
Gavinmad

Gavinmad

Mr. Poopybutthole
44,137
53,124
I was terrible at EQ. I mean, I was good at my character, in one of the top raiding guilds on Fennin, but I was terrible at shit like camping for rare spawns or grinding AAs, got bored too easily. Even if I got in an amazing PoEB guildie xp group, i'd get a couple AAs in 45 minutes and then say sorry gotta go.

My AA total was pathetic for being in a high end raiding guild.
 
Eomer

Eomer

Trakanon Raider
5,472
272
Tarrant_sl said:
I was with her almost 2 years when we were married. I was divorced in 2007, I remarried in 2010. I was with my first wife for 7 years before we got married and 6 months later she had an affair. I figured 2 years was long enough because waiting a long time sure as hell didn't give me any insight either.

Turns out I'm just bad at picking wives. I wont remarry after this.
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Fair enough. I might have been mixing your story up with half a dozen others! But yeah, bad wife picking fo sho.
 
moonarchia

moonarchia

The Scientific Shitlord
24,841
46,928
Gavinmad_sl said:
I was terrible at EQ. I mean, I was good at my character, in one of the top raiding guilds on Fennin, but I was terrible at shit like camping for rare spawns or grinding AAs, got bored too easily. Even if I got in an amazing PoEB guildie xp group, i'd get a couple AAs in 45 minutes and then say sorry gotta go.

My AA total was pathetic for being in a high end raiding guild.
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Which guild? I was in TMO. Fennin drama was best drama.
 
Antilles

Antilles

Idiot Savaunt
113
16
Palum_sl said:
I feel bad for you guys. The problem is when you have people who care for and will support the person,treatablemental illness is 100% of the time the fault of the person who is ill if it persists - by definition treatments (medical and therapy wise) are available. At some point if they actively fight against getting help, they are the ENTIRE cause of their continued problems and you have to move on. Funny how some of them find a way to get the help as soon as everyone tells them to fuck off because they are tired of their shit. I've been through the same thing with family members and friends before. They refuse therapy because blah blah blah, they won't take medicine because blah blah blah, the last psychiatrist just didn't 'get' them so why bother trying again blah blah blah, always excuses. Fuck em.
Click to expand...
That's the situation with my mom. My grandparents have offered to help her get help. My brothers and I have offered. She simply refuses and as such her situation will never change. At some point you have to cut your losses, and that totally sucks, but you can't control everyone/everything.

And seeing as how I'm not married to my mom I'll leave it at that, considering the thread.
 
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