Marriage and the Power of Divorce

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Siddar

Siddar

Bronze Baronet of the Realm
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My mother was the same way she got to her mid forty's and just really didn't want to work anymore. She quit a job she had for 20 years and went into a cycle of being unemployed for a year then working two years before quitting and being unemployed again for a year. She did that for fifteen years tell she got cancer and went on permanent disability. Now that she doesn't work she has displaced all the hate she had for people she worked with onto her family instead and me and my sister are the only ones she doesn't hate.

I have no answer for this problem just saying it appears to be more common then people think.
 
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Draegan_sl

2 Minutes Hate
10,034
3
BrutulTM_sl said:
I like how people are just positive that they know what someone should do in a life-changing decision based on just reading a couple paragraphs.
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It's a forum full of theorycrafting and min/max MMO players. You even have Gav handing out parenting and marriage advice based on his experience with his siblings and nieces.
 
Soygen

Soygen

The Dirty Dozen For the Price of One
<Nazi Janitors>
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Let's not pretend that chaos's situation just came up this week. Many of us have "known" each other for well over a decade and have been hearing stories from people in this thread for several years now. This isn't "just reading a couple paragraphs".
 
Vandyn

Vandyn

Blackwing Lair Raider
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I'm the first person who doesn't advocate 'staying for the kids' but it also much easier to say 'leave and divorce' and actually doing that. Depending on how long you had been married, there is a large amount of upheaval that takes place (physically, financially, mentally ,etc.) and it does have lasting impacts on everyone in the household. Also, divorce with kids involved is the biggest pain in the ass you can imagine (spoken from experience) once you start getting lawyers involved. In the end you have to sit down and really think about not just what's best for you but for your kids. It may be the right time to move on but there are times where the grass isn't always greener on the other side.
 
Soygen

Soygen

The Dirty Dozen For the Price of One
<Nazi Janitors>
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Yes, it's always more complicated than "just leave, man!".

How old are your kids, chaos?
 
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Picasso3

Silver Baronet of the Realm
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Tarrant, chaos, it's too late for you...but you can share the b red flags you ignored and save the rest of us
 
Cad

Cad

scientia potentia est
<Bronze Donator>
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chaos whether you intend to divorce her or not I think you need to set boundaries with her and make her aware that her behavior is pushing you to the limit, and beyond the limit, shit is going to get real. If she doesn't care, blows you off, tells you to go ahead, then you know, right? You know nothing is going to affect her. If she recoils and tries to make peace or at least shows *something*, then you know inside she still wants it to work and is just having trouble. You need to pick the top 3 things she needs to do that are achievable in a short time, make some ultimatums about how these three things are going to happen, or else ww3.

My 2 cents. Sorry you are going through this bro.
 
Gavinmad

Gavinmad

Mr. Poopybutthole
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Maybe you should talk to a divorce lawyer instead of just assuming everything would go wrong for you in a divorce.
 
Khane

Khane

Got something right about marriage
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When someone's marriage/long term relationship fails: "You ignored the warning signs, the red flags were there you just chose to ignore them"
When Khane stops dating a chick: "You care too much about the red flags. You'll be alone forever."
 
Soygen

Soygen

The Dirty Dozen For the Price of One
<Nazi Janitors>
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Khane_sl said:
When someone's marriage/long term relationship fails: "You ignored the warning signs, the red flags were there you just chose to ignore them"
When Khane stops dating a chick: "You care too much about the red flags. You'll be alone forever."
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I think it's more "You are seeking red flags and maybe finding them where they are not."

You're picky and we like to make fun of it. This is how family is.
 
Cad

Cad

scientia potentia est
<Bronze Donator>
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And chaos, if she's half the basketcase you're making her out to be, you might have a case for full custody on your part. If you want to be sneaky about it get her diagnosed prior to the divorce, then hammer that shit and use it to get full custody based on her fitness as a parent due to mental illness. You'll lose half the marital estate and probably a bit more in legal fees but you'll stand a better chance of getting full custody.

How much time does she want to spend with the kids now anyway? Would she fight you for full custody for any reason other than spite? Don't you mostly take care of them? Maybe she'd be glad to get rid of them and you. Look at the positive.
 
Famm

Famm

Ahn'Qiraj Raider
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Gavinmad_sl said:
Maybe you should talk to a divorce lawyer instead of just assuming everything would go wrong for you in a divorce.
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So many people assume the worst and have ideas of how it will be based more on TV or the convoluted shit they hear from a friend of a friend. More than likely once you got the hell of that year in Court over with you would be happier and wish you had done it sooner.
 
Khane

Khane

Got something right about marriage
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Soygen_sl said:
I think it's more "You are seeking red flags and maybe finding them where they are not."

You're picky and we like to make fun of it. This is how family is.
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The women I date are bean burritos and I want a grilled stuft burrito, extra baja sauce. But they don't exist anymore. I am doomed.
 
Soygen

Soygen

The Dirty Dozen For the Price of One
<Nazi Janitors>
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The menu is just going to continue to get worse. Time waits for no man.
 
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