Marriage and the Power of Divorce

chaos · Sep 16, 2015

wormie_sl said:
Its not like I have not been attracted to other women in the last 10 years. I have been and its never been an issue to just ignore it. If this was purely sexual, I would not be in this dilemma.

Bro, infatuation is not just sexual attraction. Assume you leave your wife and develop a relationship with this woman, your feelingswillchange.

Phazael · Sep 16, 2015

Sadly, I think all advice is falling on deaf ears here. May as well start popping the popcorn at this point, because him drilling this chick is pretty much inevitable.

moonarchia · Sep 16, 2015

And so will hers. Once you open the door to become a cheater you aren't going to be closing it any time soon. That will be true for her as well. If you do this, do it right. Break things off with the wife and go your separate ways before you hop into bed with the random new chick.

Hoss · Sep 16, 2015

wormie_sl said:
I appreciate everyone's thoughts on this matter but a lot of people are stuck on the whole sex thing. The dilemma is not

"Should I have sex with this hot younger thing or should I honor my vows to my wife?"

The dilemma is

"Why do I feel for this new girl what I dont feel for my wife and did I ever feel it?"

Anyway yesterday was a tough fucking day for whatever reason which is why I posted all that shit. I felt like I was losing all control over myself. I am feeling a lot better today partially, if not wholly, due to this thread. Thanks.

I mentioned the 5 languages of love last week, and there is an explanation for this in that book. It could be that your wife isn't speaking your language and this chick is. So this chick is 'filling up your love tank'. That doesn't mean your marriage is over, it means your wife needs to learn to speak your language. Based on what you're saying, it sounds like your language is probably quality time. Maybe instead of texting like crazy with young chick, you should do that with your wife? My wife and I are constantly texting and emailing all day long. Any time we don't, we notice it and ask what's going on at work.

Hoss · Sep 16, 2015

Cad_sl said:
Yea my wife makes fun of short guys all the time. Makes zero sense. I'm tall and I don't even see the point, it's not like being tall gives me any advantages in anything except perception.

Wife is about 1 inch shorter than me. I always preferred short chicks, but it was never a big deal to me. Not until the wedding day when she had to wear her ridiculous pumps (even though I ordered her not to) and was so tall I couldn't get the veil over her head without jumping. Now it irks me a little.

Iannis_sl said:
I know a couple of mail order brides. Well, two. That counts as a couple.

They're Phillipino's though.

I don't know any actual mail orders, but i wanted to add that when I was dating, I found out that phillipino women are gagging to find american husbands. They mostly speak english better than we do, and they generally save up money to pay for the trips to america themselves. Cost-wise, I don't know if a pinay is cheaper than using a mail order service, because you will have to make a trip to meet their family. But it seems less skeezy at any rate. I met one on eHarmoney who I wasn't really interested in because of the travel. But I kept chatitng with her because she was hot and I liked the accent. One time she came to the US to spend 2 weeks with some other guy she met in Atlanta. The international flight was landing in my city though, and she had a few hours worth of layover. So I brushed off the girl I was dating (it was her birthday BTW, but she wanted me to go meet her parents and shit) and met her at the airport, and we fucked in my truck in the garage.

I think sailors called them little brown fucking machines. So as you can imagine, my impression of pinays is pretty good.

opiate82 · Sep 16, 2015

Deathwing_sl said:
But what will I think of when banging my wife?

I'm not saying you're wrong, but I wondering there is perhaps correlation vs causation going on here. One my favorite things is to just basically fart around on my computer. Which consists of looking at porn, listening to music, watching various movies/youtube videos, and playing video games. Often all at the same time, each one continually distracting from the others.

Is porn really not making you want to bang your wife? Or is just another time consuming thing like video games that falls into the "oh just another 5 minutes" category?

Porn definitely has measurable impacts on how much dopamine your brain wants and produces. Like any vice, each person handles it differently.

I'm inferring based on what wormie has described and my own personal experiences that porn may be having an impact on his attraction to his wife, but I am just a dude on the internet who from time-to-time watches way too much porn.

Cad · Sep 17, 2015

IMHO if you are ever rubbing one out and then denying or not being interested in your partner for sex, then you are ... uhh... denying your partner sex. Which is bad. Especially as a dude. It's a double standard and its not fair because men can be just as disinterested in sex as women for any number of reasons, but women generally expect that their partner will want them whenever they make themselves available. There's obvious exceptions but if you are rubbing one out then she tries to initiate and you either can't get it up or don't even try, then you're going to create serious issues in the relationship.

I'm not saying go full nofap but if your wife has a higher sex drive than you, why would you further compound that situation by whacking it?

Also regular porn watching can definitely impact your sex drive in general.

BrutulTM · Sep 17, 2015

TJT_sl said:
Ah yes, mail order brides. I've met like 8 in my life. Some in Alaska. Most all at the same place and all, at some point, married the same guy. Never at the same time though. There is a small resort up in the Hood River area I used to go with my parents every year, as they arranged SCUBA diving trips throughout the PNW.

I forget the name of this resort specifically, but we always took it as we were able to rent the entire place out to the people we were taking on the trip. Owner was a dude named Mike and his staff was entirely his wife and ex-wives. They were all bumpkin mail order bitches from Russia who weren't smart enough to abuse the American legal system. I kind of admire the ingenuity in this. The women were probably from rural areas and weren't strangers to actually working, and not educated enough to really learn English (especially not the older ones). Mike took the trouble to learn Russian though and I only ever heard him speaking to them in Russian. Front desk cute current wife spoke broken ass English though. This was like ten years ago or so, I'm sure he has a different one now.

Seems his entire ploy was to get one in her early 20's. Stay with her for 8-10 years before divorcing and getting another. How he convinced them to stay and work there I have absolutely no fucking clue.

A ton of my father's friends in Alaska had mail order broads too. He is a fisherman and spent a lot of time in Alaska throughout the 70's and 80's. Getting mail order Russians there is extremely common, as the fisherman have tons of cash to spend and live in areas that are in short supply of women. Ketchikan would have been a shitty place to be, no doubt.

Entire agencies cater to rich fisherman to go on "tours" to Moscow where you meet/greet/fuck whoever they're trying to broker you with. The one I knew best was a total lifelong bachelor type and went on at least ten of these trips and never married anyone. In classic fashion the guy does have like 4 kids with various women though. The fisherman seem to do well with these girls though. For reasons mentioned above.

I'm sure it CAN work. But you really need to get the dumber ones who are not educated, speak shit English and are barely literate. The smart ones will just fuck over if you're not an Alpha motherfucker who does whatever he wants. They expect this. But it creates a vicious cycle since mostly beta shitheads go for the service.

Well if it's common in Alaska that kind of shits on my theory that they are all princesses that think they are going to meet somebody like Christian Grey and not a lonely weirdo that can't attract a non-desperate woman. It seemed like Alaska would be a tough sell to most women so if it works up there then there must be some women who are actually desperate to get out of Russia. Someone should really explain to these chicks though that they are never going to come to the US to a dude that is normal, good looking, well adjusted, and well off financially because that is just not the type of person who gets a mail-order bride.

I am vaguely disappointed that there isn't someone reading this thread that will admit to having ordered a mail order bride though.

Khane · Sep 17, 2015

BrutulTM_sl said:
I am vaguely disappointed that there isn't someone reading this thread that will admit to having ordered a mail order bride though.

Well it's the Marriage and the Power of Divorce thread. Not The Best 300 bucks I ever spent thread.

TJT · Sep 17, 2015

Alaskan fisherman who are even remotely competent and dumb enough to continue working up there made obscene money. My father works in the PNW now, and has for about 25 years and even here he makes very good money. But Alaska, crab is worth the most, but even on net boats you can make $100k+ a quarter relatively easily (other than back breaking dangerous labor I mean). Always paid in cash too.

Whether or not they treat these women like princesses I do not know. Ketchika, Kodiak, Homer and the other usual spots Alaskan fisherman live now are actually pretty nice and full of condos and whatever. 20 years ago they were basically frontier towns with naught but a bar, a jail, the wharf and shitty houses. Back in the early post-Soviet days I am sure they just wanted out of the USSR and didn't mind being in Alaska just because it was America.

Many Russians in general up there as well and it isn't like they could just hop a ship back the continental USA that easily. They were pretty much trapped and kind of are to this day.

iannis · Sep 17, 2015

BrutulTM_sl said:
Well if it's common in Alaska that kind of shits on my theory that they are all princesses that think they are going to meet somebody like Christian Grey and not a lonely weirdo that can't attract a non-desperate woman. It seemed like Alaska would be a tough sell to most women so if it works up there then there must be some women who are actually desperate to get out of Russia. Someone should really explain to these chicks though that they are never going to come to the US to a dude that is normal, good looking, well adjusted, and well off financially because that is just not the type of person who gets a mail-order bride.

I am vaguely disappointed that there isn't someone reading this thread that will admit to having ordered a mail order bride though.

Give it ten years. I might get myself a korean bang-maid.

And if I do, I -will- brag about it.

But I don't expect that will happen.

Leadsalad · Sep 17, 2015

Tarrant · Sep 17, 2015

I had a Vietnamese business partner who came from money. Her father owened a factory back in their country and she came here to start up her own business. After knowing her awhile she said she wanted me to talk to her friends family from back home who were willing to offer me $30,000 to marry their daughter so she could come live here. She was really attractive...like a 9.5 out of 10.

However when talking to my business partners husband one day it got brought up and said it was more common than you thought. He was a middle aged white dude and I'll never forget the conversation.

Me: So it's pretty common?

Him: Yeah, they usually give you a lump sum up front and then the rest after you're married. Stay married for 4 or 5 years and then you're free to do what you want.

Me: Huh, that seems like a long time.

Him: Well just be smart about it, just don't go and....get her...pregnant....... *trails off as he stars at his son playing off in the distance*

The guys face had the weirdest look and I assumed he was the guy who wasn't smart enough to do so.

I talked to the girl a few times, she had zero personality and her favorite hobby was getting coffee with her friends. I'll admit I thought about it for a minute or two when I saw her picture but the thought didn't stay long.

Cad · Sep 17, 2015

Tarrant_sl said:
I talked to the girl a few times, she had zero personality and her favorite hobby was getting coffee with her friends.

So, kinda like most people who eat and watch TV as their major life activities?

Khane · Sep 17, 2015

But would she have destroyed your dice and dice accessories?

Tarrant · Sep 17, 2015

Cad_sl said:
So, kinda like most people who eat and watch TV as their major life activities?

Sort of, except even most of those people I know go out and do something. This girl literally went to a coffee shop with her friends for 7 hours at a time, 7 days a week and then went home.

TJT · Sep 17, 2015

I am trying to imagine having friends who continuously want to sit in the coffee shop drinking Ca Phe Sua Da all fucking day who aren't old Arabs playing backgammon.

Lenas · Sep 17, 2015

Wormie getting real redundant with reiterating that he feels nothing for his wife and the "b..b..but this girl makes me feel special!"

Just leave your wife. She deserves someone better.

Soygen · Sep 17, 2015

Khane_sl said:
But would she have destroyed your dice and dice accessories?

This post has +1 to lulz.

Noodleface · Sep 20, 2015

Had my brothers bachelor party last night, poor sucker. Went to Dave and busters until about 11 then went to a place called Cadillac lounge in Providence. I knew from the newspaper that this place had been busted for having the girls offering extra on the side, but figured it was mostly bullshit. Nope.

Brother got 3 lappies. First girl whipped his dick out and asked him if he wanted to put it in. Thankfully he was smart enough to turn that down. Other two were a little more subtle but they said for $250 he could go out back and fuck them traditionally or ANALLY. Girls there working hard for their money.

One of my brother in laws is a major dweeb. 22 and never been laid and is a super weeaboo. He went up for a dance and came down $300 poorer. Either he got swindled or he lost his virginity to a stripper. He said he did not bang her, but for $300 I hope he got something.

All in all a good night. My wife can never know...

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