Marriage and the Power of Divorce

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Tenks

Bronze Knight of the Realm
14,163
607
No man, and sex has been limited for awhile due to her having some health issues related to the baby.

It was just weird. Weird..


Also, the upstairs bathroom is 'hers' and mine is downstairs. Although we do co-mingle, we usually stick to our own. Is that weird? My parents did the same thing.
I imagine if we didn't have duel vanities in the master bath I may move my stuff elsewhere. But really all I have on the counter is my contact stuff, a puck of pomade, deo, my tooth stuff and a comb. Most of it I just keep in a dopp bag anyways. She has a ton of shit all over the counter obviously.
 

Khane

Got something right about marriage
20,750
14,530
"This is our together bathroom. This is where we brush our teeth and rinse our faces and you can comb my hair and it smells like vanilla and lavender. Downstairs is the poop bathroom. If you ever poop in our together bathroom I'll find someone else to brush my teeth with. And if you shave up here and leave even one follicle of hair behind I'll lose my shit"
 

Draegan_sl

2 Minutes Hate
10,034
3
We don't have a master bath, but the wife and I don't share bathroom time. She wakes up an hour before I do on average, and when she goes back to work it's 2 hours before me. She also goes to bed a full 1-2 hours before I do. It all stems from her being a school teacher and starting early and me working from home (or traveling) and waking up later.
 

Noodleface

A Mod Real Quick
38,507
16,490
The point isn't that we have separate bathrooms, the point is she did this mystery mission to seduce me - but she forgot to include me.
 

Cad

scientia potentia est
<Bronze Donator>
26,322
53,832
The point isn't that we have separate bathrooms, the point is she did this mystery mission to seduce me - but she forgot to include me.
The wife also said "maybe she did tell him and he just didn't hear because he was watching tv and ignoring her, you assholes are like that"

LOL
 

Tenks

Bronze Knight of the Realm
14,163
607
The wife also said "maybe she did tell him and he just didn't hear because he was watching tv and ignoring her, you assholes are like that"

LOL
"Hey Noodle I'm going upstairs to put on sexy stuff and get plowed by you"

"Yeah some popcorn would be nice"
 

Famm

Ahn'Qiraj Raider
11,041
794
Well y'all weren't wrong.

Latina Ex who dumped me about six months ago out of the blue after a 4 year relationship is texting me/calling me all the time now. Not that I answer or respond with anything other than one line text messages.

But they're mostly to the tune of, "I know I really screwed up," "Lets get together sometime and talk." And so on.
Good, leave her hanging. In fact just block her number, you've moved on. Don't need that temptation to go back to the well again.
 

Famm

Ahn'Qiraj Raider
11,041
794
Noodles, next time she is legit going up to take a shit, just barge in with your cock out expecting a reverse blumpkin.
 

Soygen

The Dirty Dozen For the Price of One
<Nazi Janitors>
28,567
45,177
Bros, just started talking to this tiny little 5'0" social worker who mentioned all of the following in our first conversation completely out of the blue and unprovoked:

- "Inheriting" a kitten from her ex in the divorce (she was never married), including why her ex named the cat "Alley" and what she calls it now.
- How often she gets drunk and stumbles home
- How she had to "go dark" for an hour because she was about to go into a hospital and had to leave her things in a locker. "I'm not lying, I swear it's true!" (never implied she was lying or even said anything about it except "Talk to you later" because I'm a normal human being)
- Asked if it was it a bad idea to drop off a book named "Sharp Objects" to her friend who is in a lockdown psychiatric ward (the hospital she had just gone into)

I think she might be the one. Depends on how long it takes for her to poop in my bushes. Khane might finally be tying the knot bros.
On one hand, I miss being single because I want to fuck every other girl I talk to. On the other hand, I read this and it reminds me that being single can also be a pain in the ass.

Please invite me to the wedding.
 

Noodleface

A Mod Real Quick
38,507
16,490
How old is she? She sounds really young and immature.

Old enough to do, young enough to teach about anal before she gets spoiled.
 

Khane

Got something right about marriage
20,750
14,530
She's 27 and either completely insane or just broke up with the ex like last week and has forgotten how to be single.

Either way the sex is gonna be fantastic.
 

opiate82

Bronze Squire
3,078
5
She's 27 and either completely insane or just broke up with the ex like last week and has forgotten how to be single.

Either way the sex is gonna be fantastic.
Not as fantastic as the updates we are going to get in this thread when you eventually try to break it off with her... and/or decide to run off to Vegas with her.
 

Gravy

Bronze Squire
4,918
455
I don't want to see Khane's nipples.
frown.png
No hate, Khane-bro.
 
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