Marriage and the Power of Divorce
- Thread starter Grumpus
- Start date
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Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!
Go here and give us your nominations!Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!
I'm pretty sure no woman would brag to her friends that her husband shit the bed while they were fucking
Khane
Got something right about marriage
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I didn't get the shit fucked out of me, but almost. I was with a girl in my place and I had a big ole pressurized fart in me but had no opportunity to get away, and before long we ended up in bed. Part way through she got on top and started riding me, and wouldn't you know it she was really into it and pumping away really hard. I thought I had it under control, in fact I didn't even think it was on the verge of coming out, so it quite surprised me when on one of her downward pumps, a loud sharp fart came out. She didn't even flinch though, and about 2 seconds later, when I assume the cloud got up to her head, she leaned down to make out with me while continuing to ride. She was a keeper!
Birdcage at the wedding was a gold mine, got like 7k. I usually give 50 bucks or so but some of these crazy bastards gave us 500 bucks so I'll probably be less cheap in the future.
Noodleface
A Mod Real Quick
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Yeah we got like 15k, her grandparents gave us 5k plus about 2k in furniture and shit. People are crazy. Obligatory congrats
Koushirou
Log Wizard
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How did the speech issue with your wife's dad(?) turn out? Was brother in law able to talk him out of it?
Yeah, everything turned out fine he didn't mention either thing and Cried plenty anyway. I didn't hear anything back on how the talk went but everyone seems ok. I was surprised he didn't say anything but I doubt he would have been able to get it out.
The strangest thing of the evening was a male college friend of wife's who I'm 100% sure was the awkward ugly friend who always liked her but never said anything complaining to her and telling me she was too drunk etc. If there's a good rule of thumb it's probably to invite minimal opposite sex friends that are single. She had another one text her at 9 am that day and cancel....I've always heard how he was just a "good person". Nope, just trying to bang.
The strangest thing of the evening was a male college friend of wife's who I'm 100% sure was the awkward ugly friend who always liked her but never said anything complaining to her and telling me she was too drunk etc. If there's a good rule of thumb it's probably to invite minimal opposite sex friends that are single. She had another one text her at 9 am that day and cancel....I've always heard how he was just a "good person". Nope, just trying to bang.
I'm surprised she hasn't realized that these "nice guy" guys are only friends with her because they're trying to sleep with her.
The only real odd invite part about our wedding is my wife is friends with a priest. He wasn't a priest when they first became friends but he later became one. I can't recall the exact circumstances for why he was compelled to dedicated his life to the church. But anyways my wife and I are both atheist. Both our sides of the family are pretty religious so it is pretty standard-issue to have the ceremony at a church and conducted by a priest. So ours was done at the location of the reception (a country club) by one of her friends. The priest friend was dressed in the full on preacher outfit with the black shirt and white collar thingy so it was pretty obvious he was a priest. I can only imagine what some of our family was thinking that we had a priest in the audience but he wasn't actually the one conducting the ceremony. He's a really cool guy, though. The church would do well to have more guys like him. So he was drinking scotch and smoking cigars with my uncle and busting moves on the dance floor. I'm sure it was an overall unexpected situation for our families.
The only real odd invite part about our wedding is my wife is friends with a priest. He wasn't a priest when they first became friends but he later became one. I can't recall the exact circumstances for why he was compelled to dedicated his life to the church. But anyways my wife and I are both atheist. Both our sides of the family are pretty religious so it is pretty standard-issue to have the ceremony at a church and conducted by a priest. So ours was done at the location of the reception (a country club) by one of her friends. The priest friend was dressed in the full on preacher outfit with the black shirt and white collar thingy so it was pretty obvious he was a priest. I can only imagine what some of our family was thinking that we had a priest in the audience but he wasn't actually the one conducting the ceremony. He's a really cool guy, though. The church would do well to have more guys like him. So he was drinking scotch and smoking cigars with my uncle and busting moves on the dance floor. I'm sure it was an overall unexpected situation for our families.
Cad
scientia potentia est
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This takes some women a long time. Then when they do realize it, they accuse you of trying to sleep with any woman you've ever been nice to. And you're like... not me... and she'll go, but you said every guy!
/picard
Dandai
<WoW Guild Officer>
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This strategy worked for me when my wife had the realization that I am included in the "every guy who's being nice to a woman" pool.
