Marriage and the Power of Divorce

Noodleface · Dec 17, 2015

Also INB4 someone says they warned me of this and I should divorce my shitty wife

Picasso3 · Dec 17, 2015

Just come home and clean like hell and do everything and guilt that bitch into oblivion. If that doesn't work, do you know anyone that may be interested in cleaning buttholes for free?

iannis · Dec 17, 2015

Noodlemod_sl said:
I thought having my wife be a stay at home mom would net me a clean house, dinner when I got home, and dick suckings at the ready.

None of that is happening and it's irritating me. I don't get home until 7-7:30 and the house is usually a disaster and I need to cook and suck my own dick at the same time.

I think I married a lemon

I've sucked on a lemon before, and I'm not sure that I'd want a lemon sucking on my dick.

OTOH... it might be a real stingy and clenchy sort of kink. Never know till you try.

brb, going to the Krogers.

Soygen · Dec 17, 2015

Picasso_sl said:
do you know anyone that may be interested in cleaning buttholes for free?

Go on...

moontayle · Dec 17, 2015

Noodlemod_sl said:
Also INB4 someone says they warned me of this and I should divorce my shitty wife

How about this nugget of wisdom?

The most trying times of your marriage will be the first couple of years after you're hitched and the first couple of years after a kid. Highly recommend not stringing those together. Also, the worst possible thing anyone can do in a relationship is have a kid to "save it". Not saying that's you, just throwing it out there. It never ends well, and at best just delays the inevitable.

If you can make it past A & B then you should be good.

iannis · Dec 17, 2015

Well, lemme ask you this noodle. Is she losing the pregnancy weight?

Maybe you can forgive some house slob.

Phazael · Dec 17, 2015

What Iannis said. You thought you were special Noodle and ignored the warnings, but now that the fuck trophy is out of the oven, you are locked in. Good news is that chunky women give great head. Bad news is now it will be the pool boy who gets the hummers.

Noodleface · Dec 17, 2015

Yeah she lost most of the weight. She's pretty tiny at 100 lbs/5'0".

I think most of the problem right now is the kid is tough to deal with. Maybe she'll take my lead and start cleaning up more.

I don't really mind cooking, but the cleaning really bothers me.

Cad · Dec 17, 2015

Noodlemod_sl said:
I've already voiced my concerns, so far there is no change. Although the other day I noticed her picking stuff up and she said something like "Better pick this up before your dad gets mad (to my son)"

My passive aggressive slamming around stuff as I pick it up might be working

Ya know, on the one hand, I'm sympathetic to her having to stay home with the kid all day, it's fucking maddening. Even when I worked at home permanently or work at home now and then now, I crave getting out and seeing some adults and having a few hours of quiet time. To be at home 24/7 with the kid would drive me batshit. I'm sure it's not great for her either.

On the other hand, taking it out on you and acting like that is pretty shitty.

Deathwing · Dec 17, 2015

Noodle, what did she say when you voiced those concerns to her?

Izo · Dec 17, 2015

Talk to your woman. Stop acting like a child. Taking care of kids is sucky work and wears one down. I value our day care more than anything. Maybe she's in over her head and needs some backup.

Noodleface · Dec 17, 2015

Izo_sl said:
Talk to your woman. Stop acting like a child. Taking care of kids is sucky work and wears one down. I value our day care more than anything. Maybe she's in over her head and needs some backup.

I already did talk to her, where am I acting like a child? Should I gently close shit and walk around on my tiptoes picking up trash?

She said she would get better and has been making small attempts. I just got a surprise text that she started the beef stew which is kind of nuts since I assumed she wouldn't and I'd end up prepping it before work tomorrow.

I was just mildly venting anyways, it's not like I dread coming home or yell at her or anything.

Haast · Dec 17, 2015

Noodlemod_sl said:
I was just mildly venting anyways, it's not like I dread coming home or yell at her or anything.

You know we only deal in absolutes and hyperbole is a lot more fun than real life. You'll probably get it worked out.

Kaige · Dec 17, 2015

I would talk shit about her right back to your kid. "Hey son, this place is a wreck - what did your mom do all day, play with her cooter?"

Lendarios · Dec 17, 2015

Noodle I have the same problem as you, I wake up at 6 AM, and I get to the house around 8 PM, at that time I am expected, to help with the baby, help with the chores, clean the dishes. People just want to do as little as possible.
The kicker is that i bet she doesnt consider your job, as hard, or tiring, because you are not smashing rocks with a hammer.

My advise is that, if she has not cooked for you, then just go and buy food.
I can live in filth no problem, I don't know about you.

DickTrickle · Dec 17, 2015

Did she work before the kid? Either way, how did cooking and cleaning work before the kid?

Gavinmad · Dec 17, 2015

Noodlemod_sl said:
My passive aggressive slamming around stuff as I pick it up might be working

Grow up?

Izo · Dec 17, 2015

Gavinmad_sl said:
Grow up?

Nah, noodle is above tiptoeing around picking up trash. Goal post is being moved as we speak.

Picasso3 · Dec 17, 2015

That's a woman's signature move, he's an innovator.

Izo · Dec 17, 2015

...fortune 500 before you kissed a girl.

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