Marriage and the Power of Divorce

Cad_sl said:

I'd bet half these chuckleheads don't even know how to stimulate the g-spot at the same time you lick the clit to amplify the orgasms. Amateurs. Then they say the wife doesn't want sex.

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The come hither motion with your index finger is the most valuable hand movement in guaranteeing a successful relationship. It is known.

I prefer the "You're not getting any sleep tonight" whisper.

Khane_sl said:

I prefer the "You're not getting any sleep tonight" whisper.

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To clarify that's a come hither motion with your fingerinside her.

The ol' toejam and earl

My wife and I manage to have sex at least once a week which I think is great for having a 1 year old and 3 year old. Our 1 year old just started sleeping through the night and in her own room so its been a few times a week just because our room is free. She does barter sex with me in return for doing stuff I dont really want to. Ie she will have a girls night at the house and I will drive all her drunk friends home or I will go to some silly shop with her. I really enjoy it because its always like she calls it spoiled sex. One of my Favorites is the bj on the couch while I am playing video games or after a shower i just have to lay in bed and put Zero effort in start to finish. I did learn though to make sure she pays up first..

My wife and I have been together 10 years and almost all of that has been living overseas away from our families. in August we moved back to the US for her job and about an hour from her parents. She goes out to her parents for the weekend about twice a month and I would normally skip this just because it was a good break for me away from having the kids all the time and her parents house is boring. Way out in the country with no internet blah blah.

Lately she has been bribing me with sex to come out. I must say its been great its like we are a couple of horny teenagers doing it all over her parents house when they are asleep or when they take the kids somewhere. Plus its a win win for me. I either get to do dirty things to my wife all over her parents house or I have a kid free weekend to myself.

Jesus Christ Larnix. You're a fucking loser. I am currently incensed after reading that nonsense.

Sorry to hear that, hope everything turns up ok.

I really hope things turn out well for you Tarrant, it sounds like you're really trying your hardest to do the best for your kids.

Tarrant_sl said:

When my kids were in town to celebrate Christmas she did her normal thing of staying in the bedroom during their visit and I told the kids she just had a migraine. When I went to the bedroom to ask if she wanted to go shopping with me to get the kids a few gifts I still had to pick up she was irritable with me. I asked her what was wrong, I just wanted to see if she wanted to go with me to get the kids some things.

She yelled at me "They aren't my kids, they never will be my kids and I don't give a shit about them!"

She either didn't see or didn't care, but my son was behind me with a "get well" card he made her that morning that he was going to give her. At that point he slinked away, went out to the living room and tore the card up and he and my daughter cried for half an hour. My son then said he didn't want anything to do with her anymore and in my mind, that was that.

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Holy shit dude, I am so sorry that happened. I missed that post too, I thought things were going well for you. God damn man, I wish you all the best.

Tarrant_sl said:

Fuck that sounds great to me. heh

In other news, I passed out at work today due to a complex migraine with neurological symptoms. I lost all feeling in the right side of my face and my arm. I have a referral to go to a neurology clinic next week.

Anyways, wife is listed as my emergency contact so she came strait over and the moments I was awake were pretty awkward.

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Jebus on a stick, I'm sorry, man. That sounds serious, hope it isn't. Please take care of yourself! And update your emergency contact FFS.

Tarrant_sl said:

When my kids were in town to celebrate Christmas she did her normal thing of staying in the bedroom during their visit and I told the kids she just had a migraine. When I went to the bedroom to ask if she wanted to go shopping with me to get the kids a few gifts I still had to pick up she was irritable with me. I asked her what was wrong, I just wanted to see if she wanted to go with me to get the kids some things.

She yelled at me "They aren't my kids, they never will be my kids and I don't give a shit about them!"

She either didn't see or didn't care, but my son was behind me with a "get well" card he made her that morning that he was going to give her. At that point he slinked away, went out to the living room and tore the card up and he and my daughter cried for half an hour. My son then said he didn't want anything to do with her anymore and in my mind, that was that.

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wow, wtf I didn't see this either.

I'm just saying Tarrant, I know a guy who solves problems like this pretty expediently.

Noodlemod_sl said:

Another episode of marital advice from an unmarried bachelor

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He isn't wrong, though.

Had a date tonight that went really well but she didn't pass the door test. What do I do, bros?

Man my wife has started cooking and baking again and it is great. The worst part is she's terrible at dishes - but the good thing is if she cooks I don't mind doing the dishes. It's when I have to do both I get Cranky. I just wish she didn't use 19000 utensils and bowls to make meatloaf and potatoes.

She's also been actively cleaning this past week and proud of it - showing off what she did, so I give some enthusiasm too.

It actually makes my nights much better. Feeling a lot more relaxed.

Now all I need is a spontaneous BJ while we're watching tv and it was all a success.