Parent Thread

Vinen said:

Ended up being about 48 hours from the first sign of labor. Kid was born just before 6PM eastern. Doing well.

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Congrats! First one is the easy one.

Remember: this kid is going to be ok. You're not going to break it. Calm down. Don't let your in laws tiger mom it into psychosis.

Vinen said:

Ended up being about 48 hours from the first sign of labor. Kid was born just before 6PM eastern. Doing well.

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Cad said:

Congrats! First one is the easy one.

Remember: this kid is going to be ok. You're not going to break it. Calm down. Don't let your in laws tiger mom it into psychosis.

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lmao.... Nice summary, but I would like to second and expand upon that one on in laws (and your parents.... the ELDERS)..... they can be/are the DEVIL!....

• keep em away! (this is usually too difficult),
  
• or under strict supervision & access restrictions to wife & baby =p

Only REALLY safe to let your kid/wife be close AFTER you& wife have discussed and have asserted and already implemented how things ARE and ARE going to BE.... (fait accompli). Helps to send a CLEAR signal kids are YOURS (not parents/parents in law).... In my experience grandparents find this part hard to accept hehe. THEN you can always listen and adapt/concede after..... but you avoid arguments/disputes/battles over how things are done, while still listening and respecting your elders *wisdom*

There is always horrible potential for a battle of.... "WE did it this way, what do you mean you know BETTER than me (who has had x children and am 2-3x as old as you?) "
Always listen (lots of wisdom to be gained) and be diplomatic BUT:

• be ok to assert yourself enough that you make final decision
  
• to DISENGAGE from any conflicts
  
• and DEFER conversation to a LATER time (that never happens, is best =)

It all gets easier more kids you have hehe . Congratulations again.

Vinen said:

Thanks everyone.

Baby and Mother need to stay in the hospital an extra day. Wifes giant nipples are too big for his tiny mouth so he didn't feed well the first day (He is 5 pounds 8 ounces). This has been remedied now.

Hoping to bring him home tomorrow.

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Please excuse if this is unsolicited and or ends up unwelcome but I figure I will throw it out there for reference: a few things based on our experiences that might provide helpful perspective on the options available since this is your first.

Figuring out the ins and outs of breastfeeding sucks (sorry heh!), cracked bleeding nipples are not uncommon, and things can get quite brutal sometimes. Feeding on demand though seemed to be key for happy babies here: as often as they wanted/cried especially during the first six months worked best. Along with extra pumping to make sure there is always at least a slight oversupply of milk (more they eat the better, the more milk gets produced and easier they eat).

Babies can never eat too much of a mothers milk (unlike formula) and they will stop naturally (from the breast) without overeating. Bottle is always tricky even with pumped breast milk. If you are feeding on demand they might snack a LOT. You want that! Snacking a LOT is annoying and frustrating for the mom, but really good for helping get more milk for the BIG nurses every few hours especially morning and overnight and ALL DAY and ALL the time during growth spurts. The growth spurts are kinda cool and they will happen every few days/weeks when they are babies, when they will do nothing much except eat nap eat nap snack snack snack eat nap ... lol.

Some other breastfeeding issues to consider. IF the mom can manage time off work to breastfeed longer than the first few months it can be quite helpfull, with lots more peace, quiet, better moods and benefits to immune system and cognitive development.... however that is a big IF of course *paid* for by mom and only possible if things go smoothly with learning breastfeeding. Often it is too tough or impossible with work/stress to get the rythm to sustain it. If your wife wants to but is struggling, support groups to talk to other moms can be quite helpfull. Development wise, by the time kids grow to be older things of course generally balance out (breastfeeding vs not) anyhow so no biggie.

In our experiences, for those of our kids that were & are being breasfed longer the quality of life for them was and is a better, especially when they are sick. When they are sick and little (6+ months) and will not or cannot eat sollids, breasfeeding is miraculous for both the kids health as well as the parents peace of mind. The kid can easily flourish, heal, hydrate and eat well enough for days on just milk if they are sick enough to loose apetite for solids or processed milk/formula. Cost is *paid* for by the mom of course, but it is a tradeoff worthwhile contemplating at least if circumstances allow.

Best wishes for the little guy and for your wife, hope she can take it eay easy the first weeks while things heal well. It can take quite a while (weeks +) to recover strength fully sometimes.

Congrats again and have fun!