Parent Thread

Kovaks · Feb 11, 2014

BrutulTM_sl said:
I was at a baby shower once (as in, kid isn't born yet) and the kid's uncle got them this $600 electric car that the kid can drive around the yard. Great job man, get a gift that takes up a shitload of room and the kid won't be able to use for 4 years. If someone got me something like that for a newborn it would be on ebay the next day.

Fucking this. My kids aunt who lives out of state and only sees them on holdays so she trys to buy their love, got my 5month old a powewheels shelby cobra for xmas. It is cool but at this point it is just sitting in my house for 4 years till he can actually use it.

Draegan_sl · Feb 12, 2014

Eyashusa_sl said:
Any toy/gift ideas for a 1 year old girl? We have a birthday coming up for our friend's daughter and naturally I want to be the coolest friend with the best present.

My 10th month old daughter loves these things:

Amazon.com : Fisher-Price Laugh Games
Amazon.com : VTech - Sit-to-Stand Learning Walker : Baby Walkers : Toys Games

She has a plastic maraca she really loves right now. Some random stuffed animals.

edit: College Fund thing is lame. If you want to just give money, give them a target gift card or something so they can buy diapers.

Crone · Feb 12, 2014

Draegan_sl said:
My 10th month old daughter loves these things:

Amazon.com : Fisher-Price Laugh Games
Amazon.com : VTech - Sit-to-Stand Learning Walker : Baby Walkers : Toys Games

She has a plastic maraca she really loves right now. Some random stuffed animals.

edit: College Fund thing is lame. If you want to just give money, give them a target gift card or something so they can buy diapers.

I work at a financial services company, and you'd be surprised how often we get investments into a college fund that says Happy Birthday! on the check. It's pretty popular.

My son is also 10 months old. Thanks for the tips. I feel like I have to rotate out his toys every couple months or else he gets bored. haha

Joeboo · Feb 12, 2014

Crone_sl said:
I work at a financial services company, and you'd be surprised how often we get investments into a college fund that says Happy Birthday! on the check. It's pretty popular.

My son is also 10 months old. Thanks for the tips. I feel like I have to rotate out his toys every couple months or else he gets bored. haha

Yeah our 9-month old is like that. Put a toy away in his closet for a week, then bust it out again and it's like he's never seen it before. Excited all over again.

Joeboo · Feb 12, 2014

Had our 9 month checkup today. We couldn't be happier. After starting out life 10 weeks premature(born at 30 weeks) at 2.5 lbs, he's now actually up in to somewhat normal ranges for length and height already. 19lbs 3oz and 27 1/2 inches long. 20th percentile on weight and 24th percentile on height(and 17th on head size). At his 6 month checkup he was at like 2nd percentile on both, just barely on the growth charts, and at checkups previous to 6 months he was so far behind they couldn't even chart it vs normal kids of the same age.

So after starting out life super small 9 months ago, he may actually be completely caught up and average in size by 1 year at the rate he's going. A lot of doctors told us not to expect him to really be caught up until 2+ years, so we're thrilled with that.

Kovaks · Feb 12, 2014

Congrats on the growth. I wouldnt be surprised if he was taller the MA always squshes our guy and cheets him an inch.

Thengel · Feb 13, 2014

I'm sure it's somewhere in this thread but - any tips on getting ANY sleep with a newborn? Our 5 week old will not sleep unless I'm holding him. Put him down in his crib and he might sleep for an hour MAX, usually less. He'll sleep on my chest, but given how sleep deprived I am, that's somewhat scary. I've read all the 'tips' out there, and we're doing most of them (dark room, bed time routine, feed him well just before bed, blah blah blah). There seem to be a lot of long term solutions to get them to transition into a crib if they are in a bassinet or something but he won't sleep there either.

Edit: also everything says "put baby down when drowsy not asleep so baby learns self soothing." yeah, putting baby down drowsy teaches baby to scream his fucking head off, not soothe anybody.

chaos · Feb 13, 2014

Cosleep. Sure some people are all against it, and sure it isn't the ideal, min/maxed way to raise your kid. But sometimes you just need some fuckin sleep. I used to sleep on the couch with the baby on my chest, good way to get a couple of hours. My wife would move the blanekts out of the way and curl up in bed with them, but she had titty magic which I did not so i was pretty unfair.

My kids never really started sleeping well on their own until about 6 weeks - 3 mos or so. Until that point we spent a lot of time sleep deprived and a lot of time just getting it when we could. Take turns with your wife, give her a break and you take the baby and she should do the same for you. And keep trying to be consistent with the baby's sleep habits. It is so hard, but it pays off later.

Joeboo · Feb 13, 2014

Thengel_sl said:
I'm sure it's somewhere in this thread but - any tips on getting ANY sleep with a newborn? Our 5 week old will not sleep unless I'm holding him. Put him down in his crib and he might sleep for an hour MAX, usually less. He'll sleep on my chest, but given how sleep deprived I am, that's somewhat scary. I've read all the 'tips' out there, and we're doing most of them (dark room, bed time routine, feed him well just before bed, blah blah blah). There seem to be a lot of long term solutions to get them to transition into a crib if they are in a bassinet or something but he won't sleep there either.

Edit: also everything says "put baby down when drowsy not asleep so baby learns self soothing." yeah, putting baby down drowsy teaches baby to scream his fucking head off, not soothe anybody.

Basically, just plan on being a zombie for the first month, and try to work in rotations. Our newborn basically wouldn't fall asleep unless it was ON me or mom for about the first 3-4 weeks, and then if we could somehow slowly creep to his crib and lay him down without disturbing him and waking him up, he *might* sleep for an hour or two.

I generally stay up later than my wife anyways, so she'd go down to sleep at like 9-10pm, and I'd stay up to 1 or 2 am messing with the kid, then she'd take over so I could get 4 or 5 hours of sleep before work and we were both exhausted for about a month until things settled into a more regular routine.

Kovaks · Feb 13, 2014

I would say 5 weeks is too soon to sleep train. Coud be wrong but that is what i have heard from many medical professionals. They wont get the whole your in your bed now go to sleep thing till 2-3 mo old. We waited till 3 months and did the comfort but don't pick up every 15 min till they fall asleep method. Took about 4-5 days of me in the room with my shooting earmuffs on tilll he got the hang of it. At 5 weeks though as others said it is go with the flow. Maybe warm baths before bed that always tired my guy out.

Thengel · Feb 13, 2014

chaos_sl said:
Cosleep. Sure some people are all against it, and sure it isn't the ideal, min/maxed way to raise your kid. But sometimes you just need some fuckin sleep. I used to sleep on the couch with the baby on my chest, good way to get a couple of hours. My wife would move the blanekts out of the way and curl up in bed with them, but she had titty magic which I did not so i was pretty unfair.

My kids never really started sleeping well on their own until about 6 weeks - 3 mos or so. Until that point we spent a lot of time sleep deprived and a lot of time just getting it when we could. Take turns with your wife, give her a break and you take the baby and she should do the same for you. And keep trying to be consistent with the baby's sleep habits. It is so hard, but it pays off later.

The cosleeping is the only thing that works, but man these assholes with the SIDs stuff drive me insane. If you sleep with your baby anywhere near you the baby WILL spontaneously combust for no reason. It is known.

chaos · Feb 13, 2014

SIDS is different than kids getting smothered in blankets or by parents, although I am sure there is some crossover there because cause of death gets sketchy when it comes to SIDS. Take some precautions like removing as many blankets and shit as you can and running a fan and stuff like that to put your mind at ease. At the end of the day, you have to sleep, your baby needs you alive rather than dead in a ditch on the side of the road because you passed out on the way home from work (almost true story).

lurkingdirk · Feb 13, 2014

Le sigh.

After seriously debating, and seeing a whole lot of people who specialise in such things, we finally decided to put our five year old on medication for ADHD. He started yesterday morning, and I was in his classroom this morning, and his teachers said it is like someone flipped a switch. Where he was unable to control his impulses before when doing things like standing in line, or sitting next to other kids during reading time, he's suddenly a model student. Practicing violin with him has suddenly become very easy, too.

I know it might be an initial reaction, and perhaps this won't last, but it does at least make me feel better at the moment about putting him on the meds. Who wants to put a kid that young on medication? Especially for something that's so over diagnosed. We really took the time to get this diagnosed properly. His mother had it, so do all her siblings and parents. Apparently it is quite strong genetically.

But, we want to give him every chance to do well that we possibly can. This seems to be having an impact.

Draegan_sl · Feb 14, 2014

Thengel_sl said:
I'm sure it's somewhere in this thread but - any tips on getting ANY sleep with a newborn? Our 5 week old will not sleep unless I'm holding him. Put him down in his crib and he might sleep for an hour MAX, usually less. He'll sleep on my chest, but given how sleep deprived I am, that's somewhat scary. I've read all the 'tips' out there, and we're doing most of them (dark room, bed time routine, feed him well just before bed, blah blah blah). There seem to be a lot of long term solutions to get them to transition into a crib if they are in a bassinet or something but he won't sleep there either.

Edit: also everything says "put baby down when drowsy not asleep so baby learns self soothing." yeah, putting baby down drowsy teaches baby to scream his fucking head off, not soothe anybody.

You won't get any sleep. You just have to take turns. Is your son breastfeeding or bottle feeding? Is the crib in the same room with your bed? You'll have to wait several more months before you can start doing any routines or sleep training. Right now you are at the mercy of your son's whims.

Best bet is to put your kid in the same room as you, but not in your bed. this way you'll be able to get in and out of bed quickly to quiet him. We did this for my daughter for the first 2-3 months.

Good luck. My wife was a wreck because she breastfed and was up every 3-4 hours for the first month or two.

lurkingdirk · Feb 14, 2014

Every baby is different. I had to wake mine up to feed them in the night, they slept through the night as soon as they were home from the hospital. I lost literally zero sleep due to night time feedings.

Cosleeping is not a good idea, to me. There are boundaries with kids, right from the start, and my bed has boundaries. But that's just me, and I'm not bright.

chaos · Feb 14, 2014

I felt the same until I started going delirious from lack of sleep and I figured there had to be a better way. Even now, my oldest daughter comes in my room sometimes and says she's scared, I let her lay with me for a little bit. But I would never do actual cosleeping past the first few months of age. You don't want to stunt their independence and you probably want to get laid again at some point. Except for you lurking, five is enough.

lurkingdirk · Feb 14, 2014

I have five. Five is enough. Plenty. In fact, anyone want a couple?

Also, I feel that the children being in their beds, and falling asleep independently is an important time and skill for them.

Gavinmad · Feb 14, 2014

lurkingdirk_sl said:
Le sigh.

After seriously debating, and seeing a whole lot of people who specialise in such things, we finally decided to put our five year old on medication for ADHD. He started yesterday morning, and I was in his classroom this morning, and his teachers said it is like someone flipped a switch. Where he was unable to control his impulses before when doing things like standing in line, or sitting next to other kids during reading time, he's suddenly a model student. Practicing violin with him has suddenly become very easy, too.

I know it might be an initial reaction, and perhaps this won't last, but it does at least make me feel better at the moment about putting him on the meds. Who wants to put a kid that young on medication? Especially for something that's so over diagnosed. We really took the time to get this diagnosed properly. His mother had it, so do all her siblings and parents. Apparently it is quite strong genetically.

But, we want to give him every chance to do well that we possibly can. This seems to be having an impact.

Speaking as someone whose dumbass parents never put him on meds despite a positive diagnosis, you're doing the right thing. While some apprehension is natural, you really would be destroying your child's life by continuing to keep him off ADHD meds.

Izo · Feb 14, 2014

Gavinrad_sl said:
Speaking as someone whose dumbass parents never put him on meds despite a positive diagnosis, you're doing the right thing. While some apprehension is natural, you really would be destroying your child's life by continuing to keep him off ADHD meds.

Curious, if you never got ADHD medication, like methylphenidate, consistently, how do you know if the absence destroys a child's life, personally? Did you self medicate much as a youngster? Are you medicated now? Thanks for sharing, Gav.

lurkingdirk · Feb 14, 2014

Gavinrad_sl said:
Speaking as someone whose dumbass parents never put him on meds despite a positive diagnosis, you're doing the right thing. While some apprehension is natural, you really would be destroying your child's life by continuing to keep him off ADHD meds.

While these are nice words to read (really, thanks), the question that follows is a good one. My first wife was also diagnosed, but didn't get on medication until her 20s. It was life changing. do you have a similar story?

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