So, I'm dying...

Don't give up man. Never give up.

Spend as much time as you can with your loved ones Gravy. Its the only advice I can give.

Gravy_sl said:

I can't begin to respond to all these comments. Let's just say I'm pretty choked up and emotional from the support here. Some homo.

Trying to compose myself.


Ok, this moral question just got more difficult for me, but here goes:

I don't know how long I've got. The only thing I know for sure is that it's less than 6 months, or they wouldn't have me contacting hospice. I was supposed to do that today, but just couldn't. And by the way 'Bisi, no blinds for me, I'm staying home and hospice is coming here.

I'm considering checking out early, and I have been considering this since about June 2013 when things really got bad. My wife knows I'm considering it, and she's pretty torn. I've been through SO much, and the pain and anguish are things, up until now, only her and I knew about. Not even our families know how bad it's been, as we've played it pretty close to the chest.

Do I pull the plug early, and on my own terms, or let my heart dictate the day? I have the ways and means, I just don't want to lose out on some potentially emotional and intellectual growth (for all the good it will do me, right?) if I pull the plug too early. Maybe I've answered my own question. Fuck this sucks.

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You do what you have to do.

Just remember one thing and a very important thing.

People that have been told they are going to die don't always do so when they are told they will. Does that mean you got tons of hope for a full recovery? No. That said crazy shit does happen all the damn time. My wife has been in critical care for over a decade and has seen some shit that would blow your fucking mind. Incredibly sad things and some things that canonly be described as a straight up miracle. If nothing else, she has learned that you never give up on life because you just don't know how things will turn out.

Maybe that short gut kid that has had 20 surgeries to fix what can't be fixed will die. Maybe it will be like the one she takes care of from time to time who was supposed to be dead in 6 months but has been living on TPN and who the fuck knows what for 8 years now. The kid has virtually no intestines or colon but he is still alive and doing quite well despite parents being told he had no chance. There are stage 4 cancer survivors despite being told they had 3-6 months to live. There are people that beat the odds all the fucking time. Does that mean you'll live to 100? No, but that means you might or might not have the time you have left.

The choice is yours. Just remember that the way you go will impact your family for the rest of their lives. Even if they aren't the ones to clean up the bits or find their husband / father a bloated mess with a tail pipe in his mouth.

Convo_sl said:

Don't give up man. Never give up.

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Just remember Gravy, You have a better chance at living longer then they give you then Pantheon has of ever being released!

Hate to be a broken record but yeah man, only you know what is right for you. I wouldn't even feel right giving an opinion, I have no idea what you're been through or what you will have to go through.

Whatever you decide, I'm hoping for the best.

Abefroman_sl said:

Just remember Gravy, You have a better chance at living longer then they give you then Pantheon has of ever being released!

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Hope Gravy wasn't the angel investor.

I don't know you, Gravy, but after seeing everyone's replies in this thread, I can tell you're a really big inspiration to everyone here. Everyone's turned off their troll meters to wish you well and let you know how much of a positive impact you've had on them.

Gravy_sl said:

I'm considering checking out early, and I have been considering this since about June 2013 when things really got bad. My wife knows I'm considering it, and she's pretty torn. I've been through SO much, and the pain and anguish are things, up until now, only her and I knew about. Not even our families know how bad it's been, as we've played it pretty close to the chest.

Do I pull the plug early, and on my own terms, or let my heart dictate the day? I have the ways and means, I just don't want to lose out on some potentially emotional and intellectual growth (for all the good it will do me, right?) if I pull the plug too early. Maybe I've answered my own question. Fuck this sucks.

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I don't have any idea of what kind of things you're going through, but if my opinion is worth anything, I think you have to keep fighting! You seem to be a huge inspiration to everyone here, and I imagine it's a reflection of how you are to your friends and family in real life, too, and they will want nothing more than to be an inspiration to you in the same way that you've been an inspiration to them. So don't give up, okay? Lots of people here believe that you have a chance, and I'll believe in you too!

I'm sorry to hear that man.. I always feel that words ring hollow in situations like this, but your posts have always been genuine and you will be missed.

I'll just add that when my Grandpa was 55 he was told he had less than 6 months to live due to heart issues (don't remember the specifics). The heart finally did get him, at 79. Lived a pretty good life between those years as well, lots of surgeries and scares and trips to the doctor and ER, but also lots of golf, fishing and time with family. My one very anecdotal situation to add to the discussion.

I'm sure your forum bros will all have your back no matter what you decide you need to do, but really what is important is that you and your family are okay with your decision. I know when my Grandpa finally said he had enough with doctors and hospital visits and to just let him pass the next time he had an "incident" we were all very sad but okay with it, but we had all had the chance to make our peace with it. I'd do whatever your family needs you to do to help them out the best way you can (I don't know if that is hanging on or letting go). I am very sorry for your troubles and wish you nothing but the best.

.

As long as that something isn't Sasha Grey and Bailey Jay. Don't weird your family out with your bucket list.

You know what's best. Glad you're in good spirits. Who knows maybe tomorrow some miracle fish oil or technology could turn it around. But ultimately your quality of life is your own to determine. Let me just add this though...I personally can't think of any good person who would be happy to see a friend or loved one check out early. They all want what you want. But there's something to be said for finishing strong and letting them have you for as long as they possibly can.

Hookers and blow man. Hookers and blow.

But seriously I echo the sentiment of making yourself a bucket list and having a fucking blast checking it off while you're able to. And fuck it. If it involves Sasha Grey and Bailey Jay go for it.

It's funny how I feel more at loss for someone I have never met than some of my family members. This sucks Gravy. You are one of my favorite NFL thread posters, even though you are a chef fan. Fuck, man.

Tred_sl said:

Hookers and blow man. Hookers and blow.

But seriously I echo the sentiment of making yourself a bucket list and having a fucking blast checking it off while you're able to. And fuck it. If it involves Sasha Grey and Bailey Jay go for it.

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Yeah go for it, but have a bro facilitate that one.

Why must everything devolve into trannies around here?

FoH was built on EQ, Rerolled was built on trannies